To party or not….

[TemporaryName123]

We are considering maybe offering our daughter the option of going to Legoland instead of having birthday party (would involve flights and hotel for us). Would be a fairly similar cost for us to have a nice weekend away as a family at something different, rather than the usual 2 hour indoor inflata/wall climbing/laser tag etc experience that her and her friends have all had on repeat over the last few years. We can’t afford to do both, and she would have far too many friends to do ‘something small’ in the house without us excluding people which we absolutely don’t want to do!

My question is: As her birthday is one of the last in school year, would people/other parents think it’s rude that we didn’t have a party for our daughter when she got to go to all their kids parties during the year?

I don’t think they’ll think it’s rude but she may be left out of future parties.

good grief no they won’t think you’re rude

or if they do 🤷‍♀️ they will be in the minority

what would your dd prefer?

how old is she out of interest?

in previous years have you kept a running tally?!

We did exactly this for both my sons one year (both July babies). We had a great weekend. No problem with future invites to parties, and we've held more parties since. But it was a great break away from the 2 hour party carnage!
Go for it!

Speaking as someone who had 2 girls in the first half of the year: I'd never notice.

Of course it's not rude, bizarre that you'd even have that thought. Does she really get invited to 29 parties a year?

If her birthday is one of the last in the school year it must be summer, why spend a fortune on a party when you could all just meet at a park/beach and have a picnic and pass the parcel?

Giving her the "choice" will result in you doing both anyway, how is she meant to choose between the two if you can't?

Thanks all. @shewasrooting That’s a good point about do I keep a tally: no I don’t! It’s funny how common sense goes out the window when you are a natural worrier like me ☺️
@shreknjumps oh I’ve no doubt she’ll jump at chance of Lego land, I don’t think she’ll have any issues making decision! But it’s more I was wondering would it reflect badly on us not ‘returning the favour’ of parties, but reassuring to hear others who have done similar and it had no impact about not being invited to parties again (@Alwaysalwayscold don’t think I said anywhere she gets invited to 29 parties a year, but she does get invited to a significant amount, probably bottle too far off 29 to be honest!!)

have you asked your dd yet?

No, going to get my own ahead around it first then speak to hubby and price up the trip properly and go from there! But deffo coming down more on the side of trip V party!

why on earth do you need to get your “head around” anything? what?

But deffo coming down more on the side of trip V party!. surely dependent on your daughter’s view?

Er ok @shewasrooting…people make decisions in different ways. Some people find them easy to make…and some people speak kindly to others 😕

Of course it will be her decision. But I want to to find time to fully cost up both options and chat about it with my husband properly before giving our daughter the choice. I feel that, as her parents who are paying for this, it’s the responsible thing to do. So that’s what I meant about getting my head round it. But you probably have a different opinion on that too….

And before you ask, of course I won’t be presenting her with the financials of both
options. I just want to make sure we can afford both options. I just haven’t had the time yet to look properly into it yet this week because…life.

I don't think it's rude. Frankly I'd be grateful if the volume of parties DS is invited to would reduce. They inevitably clash with clubs that are already paid upfront and factoring in a gift and the drive to and from it's an expense and drain on time I could do without. I realise how grumpy that sounds and I don't let him see how I feel obviously.

One year I offered him the choice between a party and a weekend away with me and he chose the trip. I think it's a good idea.

You said you need to get your head around it first and then price it up

I was curious what you needed to get your head around! 🤷‍♀️

We did small parties with just 2-3 girls taking them for something more expensive. We did no party at all and took DD for something.

Some of DD's friends never did parties, they always did a family trip instead.

But - you said last year of school so will she be turning 11? DD found Legoland not a big hit anymore at that age.

@shewasrooting i think it seems like you might have bigger issues going on in your life for you to be so concerned about my exact decision making process, so respectfully I’ll not be responding to your comments further as I’m not comfortable with your aggressive tone.

@reluctantbrit apologies for the confusion, I mean that she is the last in the school year (not last year of school). So without being to outing she is a few years younger than 11.

thanks @LadyChilli x

Why?