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Is she overbearing?

4 replies

Newbie000 · 31/01/2024 15:39

Hi,

Hoping I've posted on the right bit - Don't know if I'm just hormonal (36 weeks pregnant!) or what and I feel a bit silly writing this as I'm a grown woman who should probably know! but could use some advice before I do anything... Sorry if it is long...

So I've had a huge row with my mum a couple of days ago about her telling baby's name to everybody even though we told her it was to remain a secret until birth. We've only told immediately close family (parents and my sister). It may be silly but both DH and I agreed to keep it quiet, in hindsight shouldn't have told anybody. I've had a few losses and this will be my first baby so I think I'm just worried and wanted things to be kept quiet until they were here. My issue was that she blatantly lied saying she hasn't told anybody other than my aunty, when in fact I know of 8 people she's told.

She's also being really interfering and dictating. I'm worried she'll be like she was with my sister and try and take over once baby is born (once tried to take my nephew out of my sister's arms whilst she was feeding him and shoved my brother in law out of the way when changing nephews nappy and took over). Or she'll walk in to our house and starting straightening cushions complaining how it is messy or going upstairs for really random reasons (to snoop whether it is clean usually).
I'm not sure what to do, I know my sister has had some arguements with her about things in the past but I didn't realise actually how much she does try to interfere until recently. She will never apologise even when she knows she is wrong, and if she does it isn't without a massive sulk and row.
She may just mean well and be excited but I'm worried as it is causing tension already.

How do I explain to her that she is overstepping with certain behaviours without causing an argument? It sounds really dumb writing it down but I really could use some helpful advice.

TIA

OP posts:
DustyLee123 · 31/01/2024 16:02

Ive no advice for you, but it’s good you are anticipating the problem and not expecting her to be different with your child.

Charlie2121 · 31/01/2024 16:08

Make it clear that any contact or help is on your terms not hers.

Tell her you need time to get used to your new circumstances and want to enjoy the early days and weeks with your DH and baby and will ask if you need any help.

I barely saw anyone other than DH for the first few weeks and it was bliss. You only get that time once so treasure it.

Newbie000 · 31/01/2024 16:41

@Charlie2121 @DustyLee123
Thank you for you replies ☺️

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MrsCarson · 31/01/2024 17:11

Ring doorbell, lock the door and tell her she needs to call/text before coming over to make sure you are available. If she turns up without calling first don't answer.

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