Period/hormonal related depression

[Werehalfwaythere]

Hey, I'm looking for a bit of advice from people who have experienced it.

I'm 37 with three children and I've struggled with low moods for much of my life but it's only in the past few years, since the birth of my last child, that I've realised it seems to be heavily linked to my periods. In the week or two before my period starts, I feel low and anxious with regular bouts of feeling severe dread. Each month, I contemplate leaving my partner, my job, my kids and running away. The worst part is that the feelings feel very real and it's hard to remember it's just hormones (presumably) and not how I actually feel - if that makes sense.

When my period comes, it eliviates and whilst I'm not the happiest person in the world sometimes, all seems a lot more bright and cheery. I'm able to see the positives and feel content.

I just don't know what to do about it. I'm hesitant to be on drugs forever. I'm sceptical about the long term risks of being on the pill for the next 15-20 years and I'm also hesitant about taking antidepressants. I struggle to even take paracetamol to be honest so I'm just a bit drug phobic but am willing to consider it if it really is my only option.

I suppose I could just reach out to a counsellor when I'm feeling low, but that doesn't feel sustainable and when I'm low I'll struggle to engage. Especially when, deep down, I know it'll pass.

Does anyone have any good news stories? Or any advice on what steps you'd take?

I don't want to go through this for the next two decades. My children and husband deserve a happy mum/wife and not the constant mood swings...

Thanks!

Hope you get some good advice. I clicked on your thread because I've literally just googled the same thing and wondered if I'd managed to accidentally create a thread! Am similar age to you, also a mother, and after an upsetting experience last year, I've also noticed low mood the whole week before my period. I'd been lucky not to experience that much before. I think in my case, my upsetting experience basically had a physically depressing effect in various ways, and even though I'm coping a lot better than I did, once a month I'm still brought surprisingly low by it. I feel like if my actual life problems didn't exist, this probably wouldn't happen, but since they do, this is a symptom.

Look into PMDD. Some people describe it as PMS on steroids. Some treat it with an SSRI, some (but not all) benefit from the Yaz pill. It‘s pretty trial and error. There’s an excellent subreddit which compares experiences, also with treatments and supplements.

Essentially, it seems to be an oversensitivity to hormonal fluctuations. We all have the fluctuations, when someone has PMDD their reaction is just far far stronger than the ‚average‘. Then, following a pregnancy or entering into perimenopause (late 30s is realistic for that), the fluctuations change, including progesterone which balances things a bit dropping off.

Be kind to yourself in what sufferers commonly call hell week. Consider period tracking to confirm mood patterns and be warned when the fog is likely to descend (free apps available). And don’t be scared of discussing and trying out treatment options with your GP.

big hug

Hiya xx

I've actually got quite strong views on this. Basically I read Women's Bodies Women's Wisdom at 26 and really took on board the gynae author's attitude to our periods.

She says, the tide is out just before we come on and everything that isnt working is clear. If we are angry, we are right to be so. If we are depressed, it is for a real reason.

It recedes with oestrogen so we get preggers again...

And, a patriarchal society doesn't like women getting pissed off about their caregiving lives so it encourages us to label ourselves mad, it's just hormones etc.

My advice to you is to get into what is bothering you and see what changes you can make. Model and live your needs as a woman. I appreciate that it might be slim gains right now, with all your responsibilities, but maybe there can be some give.

It took me 5 years of 'working with my cycle' to come to an equilibrium in life and deal with all my past trauma. Nothing really comes up anymore apart from sadness at times.

I now believe that what comes up before my bleed needs to come up and it is on me to respond to it and heed my call to make my life palatable and enjoyable.

X

@MarshaMarshaMarshmellow I'm sorry you're having a similar issue :( when it hits, it hits hard doesn't it. I hope you find something useful in this thread too!

@ALittleDropOfRain that's really helpful, thanks for posting. I need to start tracking it more accurately and will then visit my GP. It's not a sustainable way to live, that's for sure!

@something2say thanks for your views. I'm not sure I agree, as I certainly don't feel rationale in my pre-period state and actually have very fortunate life in lots of ways, but I appreciate people will have different stances and it's very possible for some people, they have genuine worries.

For me, I can get hyper anxious over things that don't normally feel that way, so I know it's not "real". I feel irrational and out of control in my pre-period state which just isn't like me. I could cry at a drop of a pin, whereas usually I'm fairly balanced. Hormones can really affect some people :(

Thank you @Werehalfwaythere 💛

And thank you @something2say , I think a lot of what you say applies to me at least; I think the hormones are amplifying the emotional pain I'm able to live with the rest of the time, and/or it's part of the general physical effects of emotional pain. I'll be following this thread with interest.

I had this and what helped me:
Quitting alcohol
Taking vitex, zinc, DIM, turmeric, garlic, b12, iron, d3, magnesium, multi.vit, k7, calcium d glacarate..i took.milk thystle for a month or two.
Epsom bath soaks a couple of times a week, eating better, less cheese and more salmon and veg.

I think my mood drop was linked to excess estrogen, my breasts were getting sore and i had estrogen dominance pattern of weight gain and constant brain fog.

I practicse CBT daily and attend weekly therapy but in the past therapy alone wasn't good enough without a holistic life style change, early sleep routine, slowing down and resting more before my period, planning easier meals and scheduling atressful events at easier times where possible.

Im more aware of my cycle if my mood is dipping i check where i am on my cycle and its 9 out of 10 linked to pms so I tell myself to put it in perspective and not make any huge decisions, i let myself rest as if i'm ill, I look after myself with comforts and healthy treats.. i avoid news and stressful situations. I'm lucky I have a lot of freedom but it wasn't like this years ago in a stressful job.

You can control what you put it into your mouth, so at least explore vitex, clean up your diet and cut out alcohol at least 3 weeks of your cycle, ideally totally no alcohol.

Hi, sounds like it could be PMDD.

many women with PMDD (Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder) have found it helpful to document their experiences. I've got it had it since an abortion as a teen. I've read there may be some links between PMDD and autism, reproductive events like abortion or miscarriage, trauma, and genetics. Pretyy sure I'm high functioning autism and I was abused by the man whose baby I terminated.

Re reproductive events triggering it one woman I know who I'm related to with PMDD found that her symptoms went away after having her second child, but that's not always the case.

I've been struggling with PMDD myself lately, and got it right now.

Everything feels pointless and hopeless, and I've lost all ambition and motivation. I'm irritable, want to cry, want to fight, and have suicidal ideation. Another symptom I've noticed is my eyelids feel heavier, like its hard to describe but it harder for me to lift them. It's almost like they're literally heavier.

I hate to say it but I've found there's no magic fix pill and that exercise, getting out, taking showers, and eating healthily (with the occasional sweet or salty treat) are better than taking anti-depressants, which didn't work for me and only made me feel much worse. I also have a list of helpful mantras on my phone that I repeat to myself to keep myself going. They're not cheesy, but rather practical things I've come up with to help me through tough times. I considered taking the contraceptive pill Yaz but don't fancy the strokes or blood clots. Got to pick your I guess.

When I have PMDD I literally feel like I'm drugged by my hormones, and it's hard to care about anything, even things that would normally be helpful, like going for a walk. It's like every month I make progress, only to be dragged back to square one. Explaining it to others is difficult, as it's like trying not to be drunk when someone asks you to. It's like every month, I'm starting over again.

Pick your poison*

Yes so this is me too OP and I won't take antidepressants. I track my cycle so I can at least understand what is happening. I take st johns wort and wellwoman. I don't drink, I eat well, I exercise. I try and tough it out.

This is exactly how I feel. I'm in the depths now and feel like I hate everyone, have zero energy, feel like a failure and I want to stay in bed all day. I don't, because I cant, but I feel like all hope has been sucked out of me and I just want to be left alone.

☹️ I think I need to be better at tracking it and I know I need to take responsibility and be kinder to those around me. My poor husband puts up with a lot of moodiness.

It's really reassuring to know I'm not alone and to hear other people's stories. Thank you to everyone who has shared ♥️

Bit random but I take iron (ferrus sulphate - 200mg, not the weak 14mg tablets you can get) the week before my period. I've found my mood doesn't go quite so haywire! I have chronic anaemia anyway.

Hope someone else can give you better advice

I could have written this. I've had random periods until I hit mid forties then they became regular and I developed PMDD.

I'm still working on it, but this is what I'm doing;

• tracking cycle on Flo app
• I take a low dose of escitalopram every day and increase the week before my period
• take vitex/agnus castus every day

-reduced alcohol

The vitex had the most effect and kicked in quickly. It's called PremEze and got it on Amazon.

Before I started the above I was in despair every month: true depression, rages, suicidal thoughts, chronic fatigue. It really tested my relationships and I barely held it together at work. I'd never even had mild pms beforehand so it was such a shock when I correlated my cycle to the behavior.

I hope I've cracked it because it seems like there's no real treatment available (I have very good private consultants). I always read these threads in case someone else has found a cure!

Hope some of that is helpful x

I agree with all the supplements advice. I tried the cycle diet - I don't think the website is up anymore but basically eat more carbs and root vegetables when you are due on.

300 more calories a day. It drops off when you come on. That helps. Hydration is also key. Lots and lots for water. Certain foods are good for oestrogen detox, especially brocoli and grapes. I also agree a bad PMT month means plan the next one as best you can. Evening primrose oil.

The key thing is that you notice the change in thoughts - I am learning to recognise the grip and it is actually quite liberating because then I know it passes.

Walking also 1000%, 10k steps a day minimum.

@Cookie77777 thanks Cookie, have ordered some Vitex, it seems to have good reviews on Amazon too. I'm really suffering right now and can't take feeling this each month ☹️