Around 25 years ago I was a student at school (17). I was not one of the 'it' girls & only ever had 1 boyfriend. I had just learnt to drive, but didn't have a car or a job to buy one. I longed for a car. My friends & I only ever went to the local pub where we could get served. I longed to go clubbing or go to the trendy over 21's bar/club in our local town. One random night I met a bloke ('P') in the local pub. He blew me away. He was older than me, he had a car, job, his own place. We started dating. My parents were not happy about the age gap. P let me drive his car. He took me to the over 21 clubs/bars, I always got in while I was with him. We listened to music at his flat. We went out for the day to the coast. Previously weekends usually meant just hanging around the house for me or walking to town and back with friends (a 4 mile round-trip). P then got a mobile phone. They were very new (think the original large Nokias), I could use the phone when I wanted. P was not rich by any means. Money was never a factor for me. Looking back now, I can see that P just liked to show off. Life at the time seemed like one endlessly long hot summer of going out, being taken out, pubs, cars, clubs. The stuff I could have only dreamt of at 17. Being a student I had no money, P was happy to pay for it all.
I was tiny at the time, around a size 10, but never really noticed/appreciated the decent figure I had. I could wear anything. My only decisions were what was I going to wear when seeing P. Life was exciting. No one had ever shown me this excitement/interest. I was doing things I could only have dreamt of, even if they were simple things like going for a meal.
Fast forward to now. I can (within reason) go out for any meal I want; buy any car I want (it would be on finance, but still); go to the pub every single night if I wished & go on holidays. I have things lined up this year socially, I go out socially and have friends. I have a reasonably large house. I have a decent car. Both of which I could have only dreamt of having at 17. The car is now just car to me, I cannot be fussed with it but I look after it. I'm happily married. But none of these times now excite me.
I look back to when I was 17 and long for those days again. I don't want P but I do want the exciting times again. I had nothing when I was 17 (in terms of money/car/house/flat) yet I was so very happy with just to go to a club/bar. I have everything now but life seems like endless drudgery/chores/responsibility/working/looking after the house.
Anyone else resonate ?
Thanks for reading if you got this far x