Something really strange is happening today...

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For the first time in a long time (excluding when on annual leave), I did not have the 'Monday Morning Dread'. I work in an office with very toxic people who make my working life very difficult and also have been one of the main reasons for long periods of Mental Health related absences etc, but I really enjoy my actual job. There is only one of me in the whole organisation so it's not like I can just up and leave for another role.

Anyway, I digress... I had no dread this morning, in fact, I even came in at 6:30am (I don't normally start until 9), just to crack on with my work and I am very content. I had a nice drive into work this morning and was oddly satisfied when I saw I was the first one in the whole building when I arrived. Some of the toxic colleagues started arriving from 7am and I'm not phased by it, I'm just plodding along and now just grabbing another cup of tea :)

So what is going on? Am I developing the ability to block out the toxic feelings?? Am I imagining this lol?? whatever it is, I like it! Just a strange feeling I have never experienced in this job and the many years I have been here.

Im 45 and my youngest child is doing her exams and leaving school this summer. For the first time in my adult life I don't need to get up in the mornings with the kids and do the mega stressful school run as she sorts herself out but I STILL can't sleep on Sunday nights 🤷🏼‍♀️

Maybe you have arrived at that point where you no longer feel obliged to people please. It’s a combination of position related confidence- they need you- and options. Plus hormones. They help too.

When you stop feeling guilty for having taken maternity leave and the mistake you made 3 years ago, it’s a great feeling.

Next comes pushback-.
“Oh give over, you know it’s in hand”
“No, not my responsibility, try Fred.”
”Would you repeat that please? <gimlet stare>”.
“would you like that minuted?”

Beautiful positive energy. Harness at other times too & enjoy! 🔆

It’s probably because you’ve been able to get up and go straight in and start early. Try to organise things , partner covering child and getting to nursery the other mornings, so that you can do this all the time.

I used to get that feeling when I was working only a half day and knew I would be walking out the building while the toxic people had to work on. I practically floated out of the office with a grin on my face.

There is only one of me in the whole organisation so it's not like I can just up and leave for another role.

I can assure you that if you fell under a bus tomorrow they would have a replacement for you by Friday. If you want to look for new jobs, start now while you are in this mood.

There is only one of me in the whole organisation so it's not like I can just up and leave for another role.

This is a reason why they might not want you to leave. It is not a reason why you must stay.

It could be that DH is managing toddler. I know when someone else is doing all the morning DC stuff I’m much less stressed and can be super-productive and calm in the time I’d normally be dressing everyone and rounding them out of the house.

Any chance DH could do more toddler things in the mornings so you can have more days like this?

It's not Sunday is it?

Now Im older I don't fall for the 'I'm the only one doing this job, I can't leave' business. I was the only one doing the job at exjob and that didn't stop me walking. Employers LOVE people who think that they have to stay where they are.

I like my job / office but it's so much nicer getting in very early and leaving early. Better for you too because you can start off in a better place without them being there and cross over time wise less as well. Hope it carries on being better

How are you now Op?

Awake and feeling good! :)