Some background :My dd has had self esteem issues tied in with dyslexia and not learning to read etc, being left to flounder and "wait".
At home she's very feisty and certainly isn't shy sticking up for herself with older sister and us.
At school however she's very worried about getting into trouble and people telling on her because in year 2 she had a friendship with a girl who was insanely bossy and any time my dd didn't do what she wanted she threatened to "tell"..
Of course staff took this one face value and even when I explained some background they weren't able to help. In the end dd moved class and that helped with that friend and dd made some new friends.
Friend let's call her Amy, is constantly comparing herself to my dd. Constantly I've heard her walking around my house telling dd... My house is better isn't it... Your house is so dusty... Your kitchen is so small....
I've talked this thru with my dd and we were able to minimise this and laugh about it.
When my dd had a bday party Amy was pushing herself forward during party games and dancing... Eg " I did ballet my spins are the best, look at my twirls no one does better twirl" as she turned and turned. But she makes dd agree with her and asks the question "my turns are better arnt they". She demanded dd open her gift first and told me which colour party bag she wanted, she had repeatedly asked where they were sleeping and when she found out she told my dd which part of the bed she would be in ie the middle! There was only 4 of them.
She gets upset with my dd and my dd is afraid of upsetting her..
The latest issue is that this girl showed dd a Djeco set of mermaid pics she had completed, its like glitter pics you make. My dd said look mummy isn't this amazing I would like this set.. Lo and behold we do have that set! Her older sister half completed it years ago so I dug it out... Dd did it and sent Amy a picture... Amy responded... Why on earth are you copying me, this was my mums idea why would you copy that.
Dd responded.... It's not your mums idea my mum got this for my sister years ago but we had forgotten it.
Amy didn't reply and my dd was worried about her reaction all weekend. We did role plays if what to say, I've told her she's not responsible for what this other girl feels etc etc. What pleases me is dd does understand this relationship is not good and why.
Sorry this is long, what else can I do to bolster dd and help her assert herself when this Amy has to be the best at "everything". Best house, hair, parents, pet, dance, work etc etc ".