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Just lost it with 7yo DS

5 replies

Knitsewthread · 28/01/2024 22:08

And now I feel awful. We're going through a bad stretch with our 7yo DS. At the moment he is often unappreciative, obnoxiously loud and will not do what you ask first time round, there's always an argument or backchat which is wearing. He also interrupts conversations constantly (relevant.) He is an angel at school so definitely has it in him to follow instructions.

The days feel long, hard work and full of battles. It's putting a strain on mine and DH's relationship.

We look forward to a slither of time in the evenings where we can unwind and actually talk. Tonight, DS has been in bed since 8ish. He is still awake and has come out of his room many times to ask for things and has cried when we had to go downstairs to get on with some bits. DH had to go back up as DS started crying at being upstairs alone. DH eventually managed to come back down. 5 minutes later, DS comes down saying he can't sleep. I take him back up, and hear DH start to cough as though he is choking. I tell DS I'm going to check on daddy (DH is fine now.) I then hear DS start crying again as I'd left him and he couldn't hear me.

At this stage I ashmedly lost the plot and shouted at him. I know it's part of being 7 but it just feels so selfish and like it's zapping any part of me and us (me and DH.) We can't talk in the daytime as there will be an interruption or loud noise over the top, and we now can't even talk in the evening. It's lonely, isolating, infuriating. I'm such a bad mum to him at the moment as I just find it all so draining and don't know how to turn things around. Feel like I'm going to ruin any relationship with him and that he'd be better off with another mum.

OP posts:
Paperdolly · 28/01/2024 22:13

Awwww. You sound tired. Write tonight off and go to bed. You might want to go cuddle him and ask if all is OK at school with his friends. He definitely seems restless.

Healthkick · 28/01/2024 22:15

Don’t beat yourself up. He’s 7 tho. I also have a 7 year old. She wants me next to her to fall asleep and we always have. They’ll want you gone soon enough

SeaToSki · 28/01/2024 22:18

Every child needs to know that the world doesnt revolve around them and they can only push people so far. Much better that your children learn it from you, where they can try again tomorrow with no ongoing ramifications and lots of love, than in the real world where being fired/dumped/ignored can have a much worse impact.

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Knitsewthread · 28/01/2024 22:30

Thank you all for being kind.

The school/friend thing worries me a little. Some days he seems fine, and others he can say some of his friends were mean to him. I don't know if there's more to it than normal playground stuff, but his teacher seems to think he's happy at school whenever I've raised it.

I know @healthkick, and that's what haunts me. That one day, he won't want to know as he'll think back and remember me as the miserable shouty mum. And I promise myself I'll do better, but then the same cycle repeats, and I don't know how to break it anymore.

OP posts:
SparklyOwls · 28/01/2024 22:42

Sounds exactly like my kid! Don't worry about getting cross, you are human. Kids need to see reactions if they push people too far.

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