Feeling shaken up and emotional

[Jelouscat]

DD (2yo) was doing some strange coughing in the night so I went to investigate and found her distressed and struggling to breathe. Called 999, the ambulance came quickly and got some steroids in her and she improved very quickly. A few hours in hospital and she was discharged. Probably croup. I now realise that she wasn’t near death or anything but I’ve spent a lot of today trying not to burst into tears because it was just so scary and I was worried about losing her. Sounds dramatic to say in real life so I’m just getting it out here.

That sounds very scary and it sounds like you did exactly the right thing. You will feel a bit emotional and scared for a while, it's a totally natural response

That's going to affect you
My 17 year old had a sudden medical emergency last year he's fine now but wss intensive care for a few weeks I'm still traumatized by it its hard seeing your baby ( however old they are )sick and vulnerable
Be kind to yourself

Don’t stop yourself crying. Let it all out, have a really good cry, it helps.

Thank you. I almost didn’t go through as I was half asleep and thought she’s probably just coughing. She was struggling to breathe so much she couldn’t make much noise crying even though she was very distressed. I just keep thinking of how scared she would have been and what if I’d left her longer.

I remember this from when my son was little and it's a horrible, helpless feeling. You did the right thing, she's fine so don't torture yourself with what ifs... cry and then be kind to yourself.

If it happens again try to remember that steam might help, while you are waiting for the ambulance, get in the bathroom, close the door and run either the hot tap or the shower, keep her upright in your arms

No this is wrong. I’ve spent a lot of time reading up on what I should have done and this is the one this the NHS say NOT to do.

What IS the correct course of action (as well as 999) is to sit the child up and calm them down (putting DDs favourite TV show on worked for us).

link here:
https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/croup/

Sorry, I know you were trying to help but I’d hate someone to come across this thread and take dangerous advice away from it.

Oh and I forgot to say that the doctor also advised that taking her outside into the cold might have also helped her breathe better

Both of mine had croup at about that age and it is really scary and distressing. One ended up with steroids and the other was admitted for a night. Treat yourself kindly, even though you rationally know they’ll be fine.

Croup is bloody terrifying, and I'm usually quite level-headed!

That sounds so scary OP. I’m not surprised you’re so distressed by it! You acted quickly when your DD needed help and for that you should be proud. Take today easy and I hope your DD is feeling better soon.

Bless you. That sounds like a very scary experience. You sound like a fantastic mum, should the opinion of a random be of any comfort!

you absolutely don't sound dramatic that sounds scary and you are reacting to the shock and distress. I hope she gets better soon croup is awful. take care of yourself.

Yes cold night air is very effective for croup. I used to wrap DD up in a bundle and sit with her on the front door step for a while. Then sit up with her in bed watching cartoons. She had croup multiple times.

Let yourself feel the feelings OP. Let your brain go back and rehearse what happened. It's how it processes things. It's uncomfortable but completely healthy and normal way of processing. I have PTSD so am an expert in unhealthy ways of processing things eg telling yourself it wasn't a big deal and "staying strong". And be gentle with yourself. Watch gentle TV. Read a book. Take it easy.

my eldest is in her 30s and it was Steam with her but it's now debunked as it makes the cough wet or something .

I think in times like these we in the moment are so focused on rescue that it's after it's over it hits you. It is not over dramatic at all! You had a bad scare so be kind to yourself.

Thank you for your lovely kind comments. DD and I have spent much of the day snuggled on the couch while the house goes to shit and I don’t regret a moment of it.

Well every day a school day, I wasted a lot of water with my little ones then, I thought steam was still recommended

DN had terrible croup when he was younger and was hospitalised a couple of times (including once abroad). DB & SIL were eventually given steroids to keep in the house so they could start them quickly if he had a flare up.
DS2 had a mild case a few months ago- cue a few sleepless night for me as I know how serious it can get. Big hugs to you.

Two of mine had a few episodes of croup when they were little, it is so scary the first time you encounter it. They both had it for a few nights in a row too, I just did what my Mother did when my brother had it and sat in a steamy bathroom, this was before the internet, the steam probably didn't help at all, but the sitting up and being comforted probably did.

You're probably still in a bit of shock. Let it all out. There's no shame in crying, especially after a horrible shock like this!

Hope DD is on the mend.

We’re just getting over croup here too, babs had to get steroids - he was happily playing all day but barky coughing and then developed that wheeze (or strider as the nurse called it) so took him in to be seen.
The nurse said if he gets it once, he’ll probably suffer with it every winter 🫣 but she did say as soon as your head the bark to take them in for steroids to blast it.
But yes that barking cough is awful to hear, you feel so sorry for them.

Oh wow that’s so scary!!

As a PP said, carry on crying - you’ve had a very scary experience and it’s ok to let it out. 💐

It’s normal to be shaken up. This is a horrid thing to witness. The worst thing you can do is be in the house going over and over it. Get out, stay out, distract yourself, get fresh air. Tomorrow is a work day so the routine will help. Keep busy and time will be a great healer. Hope you don’t have any other episodes and that it was a one off.

It is scary when they can’t breathe! My DD has grown out of it now, but croup was a regular feature of all her babyhood respiratory viruses.
It is true that steam is no longer advocated. I would always bundle up DD in a duvet and we would sit on the doorstep and look at the stars (or by an open window if raining). The change in air really does help their lungs, and the snuggling under the stars helped her calm down and distracted her. Then I’d leave the bedroom window open once back in bed. Vicks on the pjs and an extra pillow.
I would advocate having this type of routine, as once I was awake and in the room, DD knew that the “routine” would help.
When I was a kid you get something to burn in the room - there are modern versions, but I haven’t tried them.