Cancer surgery

[PissOffCancer]

I have just found out I have cancer and am trying to prepare for before and after surgery which will be in a few weeks. For those who have gone through this, could you let me know please any suggestions for what I should be doing before and anything that particularly helped after. I’m about to start filling the freezer with batched cooked soups and easy to digest meals, but I’m drawing a blank when it comes to preparing me if you know what I mean. Think I’m still a bit numb at the news.

Hi OP.
Sorry to hear your news. When I received similar news I was directed to the Cancer chat on here. It’s a group of the most supportive people. Here’s the link incase you want to join.
Before my surgery I cleaned the whole house and set up all the logistics for getting DD to and from school and the dogs walked. What daily tasks do you need to sort?

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/general_health/4969445-cancer-support-thread-92-christmas-happy-hour-at-the-patience-inn-7pm-tonight?page=19&reply=132535252

I'm so sorry to hear this. I know how terrifying it is and the kind of thoughts that go through your mind.
Do you have anyone to support you as you recover - physically and emotionally?
I had cancer surgery when I had a baby and a toddler. I wasn't allowed to carry my very clingy one year old post surgery so I relied very heavily on DH. My parents also came to stay for a month to just help out with the children, the cooking and housework as DH had to work. This was invaluable.
Yes it's a good idea to freeze meals in advance but if you have someone who can cook for you and help with the chores that's great too.
People are usually horrifically constipated after surgery so make sure you have laxatives at hand.
In the months after surgery I was exhausted. It took 6 months to a year to return to full strength so bear that in mind. I also had non-stop colds for many months the doctor told me my body was using all its energy to heal so couldn't fight viruses so well.
Obviously a big part of the battle is psychological. I was running on adrenaline until I had the surgery then the fear kicked in "What if the cancer has spread? What if it comes back?". I became very paranoid about every synptom I had thinking it was a recurrence of cancer. I'd highly recommend getting some counselling to deal with the cancer anxiety.

You don't say what kind of cancer but the dedicated national cancer forums are brilliant. Bowel Cancer uk ( the forum) for example is full of people who have been through it and they are full of positivity and advice. Macmillan has dedicated forums for individual cancers.
Try these sites. It is so comforting to talk to people who have shared experiences.

@LemonDrizzle10 @SallyWD thank you both very much, these are very helpful. DH has already told his work he is taking a month off when I have surgery and that he’ll take care of running the house and family life. I’m lucky to also to have family and friends who will help. Noted about exhaustion and constipation, will add prunes to the food order. Will also look into counselling. Thanks again.

@Adifferentwayoflooking thank you. I’m usually a closed book when it comes to talking about things, except with DH, but I’m beginning to realise I can’t do this on my own. One of the hardest things to deal with is seeing the effect it’s having on others. I had never seen DH cry until last week.

There are lots of support groups on Facebook for each soecific type of cancer. I found them really helpful. All the best OP.

Also the people around you who care will probably want updates. When i had cancer, i had one friend who kept the rest of the friendship group updated to avoid me feeling like i had to reply to messages when i wasn't feeling up to it. For family i had a seperate group chat without the kids (thought it might be a little serious for the teenage nieces). A phone is a lifesaver when you're bored in hospital but don't feel you need to answer people on days when you dont feel like it. Best of luck xx