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Original poster

Do your parents hang out with your in laws?

73 replies

2024namechange · 26/01/2024 21:12

Last year my parents moved to near where me and my in laws live. Ever since they have started hanging out with my in laws without us quite regularly - lunch, dinners and coffees mainly.

90% of me thinks it’s really nice, great that everyone gets along. 10% of me wonders what they talk about when we aren’t there!

How normal is this? Anyone else’s parents besties with their in laws?? 😂

OP posts:
RampantIvy · 26/01/2024 21:59

My parents only met DH's mum and stepfather once, at our wedding. They lived about 300 miles away from each other and had no reason to meet up. DD was born after my parents died.

Even if they lived near each other I don't think they would have met up socially as they had nothing in common apart from us.

Apparentlystillchilled · 26/01/2024 22:00

Our parents met for the first time at our engagement party, after 8.5 years and the second time at our wedding, which was after 9 years together. They have met approx 5-6 times since, in the 18 years since we got married.

nothing in common and live far apart so it would require effort for them to see each other.

DomingoinLittleOakley · 26/01/2024 22:01

Yes they do. Although my Mum thinks FIL is a pompous arse (I wholeheartedly agree with her), they put up with him because MIL is a sweetheart.

They're roughly the same ages, FIL and my Dad had the same occupation before retiring so they have lots in common.

I actually think they see more of each other than they do of us!

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Wolfpa · 26/01/2024 22:02

My parents and in laws have never met each other but I think we may be the strange ones in this situation.

171513mum · 26/01/2024 22:04

My parents and inlaws are very different and wouldn't ever spend time together under normal circumstances but are polite and get on okay when they happen to coincide eg at kids concerts etc. I'd never plan to invite them both round at the same time tho. They sometimes communicate via Facebook where my mum and my FIL seem to compete as to who can like my posts quickest lol.

But if yours get on weIl I think it's nice. When I was a child both sets of grandparents regularly stayed with us for several days to a week over Christmas and always got on well. Later on, when the other two grandparents had died, my maternal grandfather and paternal grandmother got on well. It only occurred to me relatively recently that they weren't actually part of the same family as such and so it was maybe unusual. To me it was just normal that they got on well.

auntyElle · 26/01/2024 22:05

One memorable time the in laws started a group sing song. In public. Our side of the family prayed for a timely comet. Sadly it failed to arrive,

MouseKeys · 26/01/2024 22:06

My parents and parents in law don’t hang out very often as they live in different countries and there is a language barrier but when they are all together they get on fine.
When I was little my grandparents on both sides were great friends and my 2 grandmothers often went on holiday together and did flower arranging and art courses together. I only realised that this wasn’t the usual arrangement when I got older!

Iwasjustasking · 26/01/2024 22:06

Been with my OH 23 years and our parents have never met!

RandomUsernameHere · 26/01/2024 22:07

Not my ILs but my DParents were quite good friends with my ex's parents and even carried on seeing them for a bit after we broke up!

Original poster
2024namechange · 26/01/2024 22:13

@Iwasjustasking how has that happened? Don’t they ask you to meet each other? I suppose it would be weird now!

OP posts:
Copperoliverbear · 26/01/2024 22:28

Lots of my friends in-laws do. X

autumnboys · 26/01/2024 22:34

Ours lived about a six hour drive apart so there was a weekend before our wedding for them to meet. Then we moved nearer to my family, so my mum sees them when they come down (not every time) and did once travel up to theirs with us. They’re all lovely. Send one another Christmas cards and exchange presents on the years they see one another. Quite different people but they all make an effort when they’re together.

NamelessGhoul · 26/01/2024 22:38

I am really good friends with my SILs parents. His mum and I go to shows together, we go out for meals, family parties etc.
Not so much with my DILs parents but they don’t really do drinks out etc. still lovely people though.

mdinbc · 26/01/2024 22:41

I'm a mum in law x 3. My one SIL has divorced parents, so there are 4 sets of parents all together. Even though they all live in town, none of them are in our social circle so we don't really see them other than a quick chat at the grocery store! They are all lovely people, but we don't go out of our way to socialize with them, or vise-versa.

We will see them at celebrations, or when visits overlap, but it doesn't happen often.

catelynjane · 26/01/2024 22:43

Nope - they've met once on our wedding day six years ago.

Iwasjustasking · 26/01/2024 22:45

Haha yeh I think it would be weird now! Me and oh have two children together also but it has just never come up for them to meet! It doesn’t bother me in the slightest to be honest but I can understand it’s probably quite strange!

Kat1981111 · 26/01/2024 22:45

Hi I think that's wonderfull. They can connect with similar hobbies and interests too. And it gets them out of the house.
Let them be

SgtJuneAckland · 26/01/2024 22:45

My parents and PIL get on really well, mums text each other often, we all go on holiday together, were going to a wedding at the weekend and we're invited all day both sets of parents for the evening, so they're meeting for a late lunch/early dinner before . They live about two hours apart otherwise I think they'd do this kind of thing more. Before DS was at school both grandmas used to look after him initially once a week each then once a fortnight when we increased his nursery hours, when MIL had him my mum often had DNs and they'd all meet up without us

WishesPromises · 26/01/2024 22:47

My in-laws don't hang out and my parents don't hang out.

Family is a nightmare for DH and I to navigate.

WishesPromises · 26/01/2024 22:48

Also in our family dynamic - my side of the family gives and DH's side takes.

Essie274 · 26/01/2024 22:49

No way for my parents and in-laws, wildly different people in a very non-compatible way.

My grandmothers used to get their hair done together each week, though - then have a coffee and cake. I'd sometimes go with them in the school holidays. So special. They had almost nothing in common to my knowledge but then again I didn't get chance to get to know them as people so I imagine there was much more to each of them than I ever knew.

Trisolaris · 26/01/2024 22:50

My parents have only met DH dad and stepmum twice (inc our wedding) but the two women talk occasionally. Mum has been unwell and stepmum gives her a call occasionally to see how she is which is lovely (live in different parts of the country.)

DH mum has never met my parents, she is a very socially anxious person so tend to only see her just us or just DH.

Bookingtree · 26/01/2024 22:51

Ive been with my partner for 30 years and our parents have never met. Live at different ends of the country and we aren’t married.

New2024 · 26/01/2024 22:56

Mine would definitely have done if they had lived closer together. On Easter and Christmas get togethers they always talked the rest of us under the table

tourdefrance · 26/01/2024 22:56

My parents and my PILs met once about 20 years ago. They live at opposite ends of the country. They (well my mum and my MIL) send each other Christmas cards but that’s it. We aren’t married and don’t do big family events.