Does anyone else share this experience?

[Amalienborg]

I've recently started counselling for a whole host of issues that I wished I'd dealt with years ago. This week I was trying to describe something I do in my mind, and my counsellor couldn't get what I was describing. Either I wasn't describing well or this is unheard of in anyone else.

Basically, I have an alternative narrative of my life running in my mind. I've done this since I was really young. It's sort of like a fantasy, but it's not at all sexual, I'm fantasising about being related to people or being in other families.
Often the fantasy runs as me finding out that I was adopted and my birth parents or siblings making contact with me, and me building a relationship with them. The people involved are sometimes celebrities but also can be work colleagues or other people I've met, basically anyone can catch my attention then my mind creates this story around them.
These stories in my mind can run on for ages, months, and although I'm always fully aware it's imaginary and not at all real, I get comfort from the feeling of it being real.
Eg, there is a woman who I noticed on TV a few weeks ago and since then I've imagined what it would be like if she was my mum, I've thought about how I would meet her other children as me being a new sibling, what sort of things we would all do when we spend time together, and so on, and these thoughts have been a running narrative in my mind for weeks. This morning I walked my dog and imagined sending a photo of my dog to her and what she might say back.

Has anyone else had this sort of thought process? Does it make sense to anyone?

Makes sense to me. If you had an unhappy or abusive childhood of course you’d day dream of having a better family.
As long as you know it’s imaginary, not real, and you can stop and start it at will then you’re fine.
I’m surprised a counsellor hadn’t heard of this.

The counsellor couldn't seem to understand that it wasn't about being a fan. Perhaps because the example I was describing was a celebrity person and they were suggesting that when you really love someone's music or acting then it's natural to want to know a lot about their life and really focus on them and think about them a lot. But I was trying to explain that's not how it is for me. I'm creating a fantasy of being related to them, rather than enjoying their performance. And I was also saying it's not always a celebrity, it can be just regular non-famous people that I'm creating thoughts about. It was a bit frustrating trying to describe this and then not really getting it.

My therapist told me this is maladaptive daydreaming

I've never really done that version of it, but I totally understand imagining an alternative life. I think most people do that don't they? I think you've explained it really well so I don't know why your therapist couldn't understand it.

Yes, this.

Ever since I was a child I've made up extra siblings, aunts and uncles, cousins, nephews and nieces etc. Some of them acted in films I watched. Some of them were singers. To be honest some of them are still in my head. So if I'm going for a walk I'll daydream about a certain singer doing an interview on the Graham Norton show or whatever, but that singer is my sister (but isn't really) and she has loads of kids who have acted in various films. On a day to day level I don't think about them much. As a child/teenager on every day out I would decide in my head which 'extra' family members were with me for the day, but now that I have my own husband and kids I don't do that. But if I'm watching something often it is a family member acting in it (but not really!) Or I'll make up an extra part in the film for my family member and in my head I do the dialogue that they would say in their role. It sounds quite mad written down! I've had no particular trauma in my life and had a lovely childhood.