My mum died last week. It was expected she’s been declining with dementia over the last few years.
It happened on a day we could all be with her which is the only good thing in this it’s what she said she always wanted, her family around her at the end.
My eldest DD was her favourite (she was the eldest by 12 years). She adored her especially as they had such a strong bond when she was small. she was the one talking to her right at the end, mum had opened her eyes and I think she was aware of everything in her last few hours. She died with dd holding her.
DD is 22 and was obviously upset. She had a couple of days off work and went back on the 3rd day. she’s emergency services and on the 4th day, she had to attend after the death of an elderly lady and broke down. her boss knew that her grandmother had died but didn’t know that dd was with her. they immediately sent her home on bereavement leave when she told them that. She’s ok now.
She told her father, my ex h about it all and he’s been an absolute dickhead.
He sent an email calling me all the names under the sun, saying I had fucked up dd with this, that I’d always been a terrible mother and that he’s contacted social services as dd had said her younger brothers were there when she died too and he says that’s unacceptable and I need to be held accountable. my younger children are fine. They understood. They have seen the decline and they know she’s free now. It wasn’t a scary death, I spoke to their school incase they needed any support and they have been absolutely fine.
He’s such an arsehole. I left him 16 years ago, he’s re Married himself and he still hates me.