Coach Keep Shouting At Son

[ProtectiveParent]

NC for this one and looking for advice please.

My son plays football for a team, they are grassroots, so are very young.

The coach shouts at the boys all the time, particularly my son, who at times has starting crying and comes off the pitch and won't return for the remaining of the game.

I'm starting to get annoyed with this. He does not let the boys play, he's constantly shouting at each of them when they receive the ball and I find it aggressive.

If one of them makes a mistake he tells them/shouts at them mid game which is causing them to cry as I'd imagine they feel embarrassed.

I'm pretty sure other parents feel them same but they say nothing, probably in fear of confrontation and repercussions.

My DH is a football coach for a grassroots team, they are nearly all parents/volunteers not many are professional unless you are paying extortionate amounts.
How old are the kids? Grassroots just means non professional.
When he is shouting, is he shouting instructions, help at the kids (eg Johnny is open, pass to him) or is it all just shouting, negative feedback?
If its negative then I would chat to the manager first, he may not realise how he is coming across. They do have to shout in games to make themselves heard, so its not uncommon but it does depend on the tone they use and the language.
Unfortunately in the pressure of a match they do sometimes come across quite blunt, my husband has before and I pull him up on it before a parent has. He has been doing it for 5 years now so knows what works and what doesn't.
What is he like in training sessions, is he the same? If not it could be the pressure of the matches that's getting to him.
Parents don't see it but coaches cab get pressure from other parents for the team to perform well, even though its non competitive until U11's.
Please talk to him first, it may be his first season coaching and he may not realise how its coming across. Children storming off crying isn't always an indicator, Dh has had that before and the kid just didn't like being told he had done something wrong.
If you are still not happy then speak to the Welfare office or the club chairperson. A decent club will have a WO watching training, matches etc randomly just to make sure all is ok.
All I am saying is don't always assume the coach is a horrible person, sometimes they are just not aware how they come across, sometimes they are huge dicks!
The parent will have had FA training on how to do drills, coach a game but not how to deliver it, they all have to learn.

Good advice @Monkeybutt1 I don't think enough credit is given to the people who give their time to organise and manage grass root sport. It can be a thankless task. And you are right that some men just don't realise how aggressive they can appear when they jus t think they are being normal/shouting to be heard.

Thank you, I am sure my post won't be that popular but I have the benefit of being a parent and also seeing what goes on behind the scenes so to speak. If my husband is too harsh or something isn't working with the kids I am the first to tell him 😂

Have you tried to have a polite conversation face to face about it? I usually start off nice, as if I am assuming they fully intend to listen and cooperate, then get a bit more direct if that doesn't work.

I'd start off by saying he is clearly passionate about his team, but his delivery of instruction is having a de-motivating effect, which is surely the opposite of what he intends etc. See how he reacts to this. There's lots more to say but I'd still keep it on a neutral tone as far as possible. If things don't change I would think again about continuing.

Most teams for kids are quite strict about no shouting (or even clapping), I think you need to speak up

Your child is your one and only priority here. Protect him, and take him out of harm's way.

@ProtectiveParent can I ask how you got on with this issue? Have a similar kind of problem myself?