Has anyone emigrated to New Zealand in their 40s?

[Embelline]

It’s always been a dream of mine and DH to live in New Zealand. We were halfway through the process a good few years ago but then had something happen in the family which meant we decided to stay.
now we are both 40 with a 4 year old DS and keep thinking about it again. We are in the UK.
DH job is on “the list” and we have a fair whack of savings in the bank. My job isn’t on the list but I’m self employed and could continue working the same job with the same clients if we moved as it’s all remote and done in my own time so I could show I have a job and income.
I feel like if we are going to do it now needs to be the time before DS probably starts/ gets settled into school.

has anyone else done it around this age?

Do it. You can always come back. But youre running out of time to go.

Yes I think we would need to do it before we are 45 wouldn’t we?

Actually 55. Although I think I would have to do more to establish I could work there, as I'm not sure my current set up would work with their points system, it's all a bit confusing! I think I'm going to contact one of the companies that specialises in it as I'm unclear as to whether I would even be able to get any kind of visa with my current self-employed work.
I would love to go though, it's such a beautiful part of the world and we have a fair few friends already out there. Although they went when they were younger - we made the right decision at the time but I'm still kicking myself as I think it would have been a hell of a lot easier!

I'd love to go, do it for your DC

UK is not an optimistic hopeful aspirational place

@Letsgetouttahere2023 we are definitely leaning towards it, I'm just worried we've left it a bit too late. It's a lot stricter now and we are older, but hopefully because DH job is on the list we have a shot.

You might find more people who've done it on this MN topic. I emigrated to Australia at 50+, so it can be done.

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/aussie-nz-mumsnetters

Have you ever actually been to New Zealand? You don't say you have so what exactly attracts you to the idea? House and food prices are high in New Zealand and its not some idyllic version of Britain 30 years ago. We do have lots of green spaces I'll grant you. The climate is not always balmy either but with high uv even when overcast. If you are white your child will have to be regularly covered in sunblock when outdoors. Did I mention the earthquakes? Our children are taught to get under a doorway or table when the shaking starts. Do you even know which city or area you want to live in?

What annoys New Zealanders are British immigrants who come expecting everything to be the same as the UK but somehow better and are very critical as a result. It can make New Zealanders whose ancestors endured incredible privations and built the modern country less than 200 years ago (albeit displacing and marginalising the original inhabitants) feel a bit defensive.

We did it when we were both 41 with two DC aged 8 and 6. We're here for good and are happy.

It is expensive to live. Housing and food are a huge whack of income. Having said that, if your needs are limited with respect to formal entertainment and you like the great outdoors you could be very happy. We found it easy to make friends, and enjoy life with less formality than we would expect in the UK.

Where in NZ would you like to emigrate too? Very different towns and lifestyle depending where you go. What industry are you and your DH in? Also very different oppoortunities depending on where you choose. You're not giving lots of details in order to receive advice.

If you come to NZ with the intention of moving, the moment you and your children step off the plane, you are at the mercy of your husband letting you return to the UK with the kids. If he says no you are trapped in NZ until they are 16. It doesnt matter that you are both British. So many women think it is the answer to their prayers and watch their husbands career flourish whilst they feel isolated and homesick. Look up Hague Mums, charity Reunite and posts about being trapped abroad. Ive seen happy couples of many happy years of marriage split due to this issue. Ive seen British mothers being beaten to an inch of their lives but the father still having the final say whether the kids can leave NZ. It will cost you at least 40k gbp to go to court to get them out and you have a 5% chance of leaving. If you want a change, go live in the countryside in the UK and see how you can cultivate a good life. All the issues the UK has, NZ has and some of them worse. It is expensive and backwards and so far from everything. s

You cannot take the kids back without the fathers permission and could end up trapped in NZ until they are 16.

I emigrated to NZ when I was 46 and it is a huge move. We had visited many times before we emigrated and bought land, commissioned an architect and built a house whilst still in UK. We had a house to move to but it was still a difficult move.

NZ is a bloody long way from anywhere, we live in Hawke's Bay, around 6 hours drive from Auckland and then 26 hour flights from Auckland to Europe. I have been travelling back to UK three times a year from 2003 until 2023 when my Mum died. It is a long trip and pretty expensive.

We love NZ, have fabulous friends here and a terrific social life, but you have to make an effort to be involved. Food, housing and power are very expensive. I miss M & S, Supermarkets, the history and the easy travel to Europe. But NZ is my home, we have been welcomed here and will stay here.

We have gang problems, drug issues and our suicide rates are shocking but it is a good place to live if you are prepared to adapt, fit in and make an effort to meet new people.

I love the UK, am Lancashire through and through but I love NZ too - very different countries and if you come with a good attitude, NZ will love you too. We are very fortunate.

After that long ramble OP you need to visit do your research and make an informed decision - good luck whatever you decide.