So. Long story short. My ex and I split 4 months ago. He was so good to me. Until the end. Things started feeling off. I was getting recurring dreams he would leave. I was then starting to feel unable to cope with this weird feeling that something was off. Many months before I confronted him about this Omegle chat thing I saw on his phone. He insisted it was just to chat to other people to distract himself from me being at work all the time.
At this point the trust felt off. He reassured me and we carried on but it was always at the back of my mind.
He started acting Distant by the end of the relationship He changed his behaviour and the ways he was to me. I felt I couldn’t make him happy and I told him. But I also said something felt really off.
In the end he just got more and more distant. I had to drive to his house to figure out what was going on in his head. He wouldn’t touch me or come near me. 4 months later. I look on his insta. And there’s the new girl. All I feel is like this was my fault. Maybe I failed him. Maybe I took him for granted. Maybe I made him feel like he wasn’t good enough. Maybe when I asked for commitment after 5 years I was asking for too much. I regret so much. I just wish I could tell him how mad I am that he did this to me. But I feel like I need to see my self worth.
They were holding hands and looked so happy. He touched her hand the way he touched mine. It just feels so weird to see. 5 years and I feel like I don’t even know the man. I know I have to move on. But it really hurts to see. I’ve cried a lot of tears like it was day one of the break up. But I realised now. Ther e would be no taking him back. It happened once before we entered a committed relationship. I liked him and he supposedly didn’t know and went off with someone else and feels like history just repeated itself and this time I can’t watch or feel like I can wait around. 5 years. With promises of marriage and children. And this is what he does. Weirdly it’s like I feel less sad knowing how awful of a man he is.