Autism without struggling to read people

[Neurodivergentaf]

I'm undergoing an assessment process for possible ADHD. I'm a 38 year old woman and have had various challenges all my life which would make sensas ADHD. The person assessing me said he felt some of my answers did correspond to autism and while there can be a cross over there is a possibility of looking further into this.

I was quite surprised by this in particular as I am quite good at reading people and their motivations. My mum is similar and we joke that we are too good at this and it can make friendships difficult. As in I can often tell someone's movitations or how they really feel. I'm also very self aware with emotions, I've had this said to me in therapy so I'm not just claiming it myself!

I'm all so not a routine person in the sense I can be spontaneous.

However there's other stuff like sensory issues, strong sense of justice, like to know what is happening, and overwhelm.

I wondered if anyone had any experience of autism presenting like this? As all the stuff o read seems to point to social issues, in particular challenges reading people.

Thanks

You have what's called a spiky profile. So some traits of one thing & other things from different nd issues.

Adhd does not travel alone & I've found as I manage the adhd better, I see other traits. Tho my issues are predominantly adhd.

....sensory issues, strong sense of justice, like to know what is happening, and overwhelm...I have all of these. People don't get it and when I say I'm neuro diverse at work, they say unless I have been diagnosed, they can't make sacrifices for me. Like letting me sit at the same desk every day

I take what people say literally, but I can read people I know well.

If you aren’t fitting in socially do you think that you just become super aware of the atmosphere in the room. The emotional atmosphere.
I felt that that was the reason in my case.
but have adhd ?borderline autism.

I'm just coming to terms with the possibility of being neurodivergent, but I do think it is very likely. I'm still weighing up whether to get a diagnosis.

Being good at reading people is one of the things that always made me think I couldn't possibly be ND. However, I now realise that I devoured books my whole childhood, studied humanities at A level then trained as a nurse and I can be incredibly chameleon like depending on who I am talking to. This has made me question quite a lot whether I am actually good at reading people or whether I have made an intense study of being able to read people. Hyper empathy can also be an ASD trait in women I believe, but I'm no expert, still learning myself.

I feel like this. All this new information online about ADHD and I understand now what was "wrong with me" but I also new if I was boring people, irritating them, losing them..... so I never thought I was neurodiverse in anyway.

So, my question is, how do we get tested for being neuro diverse? How much is it? Where do I go?
Help!!

Some interesting replies thank you. I haven't hears of a spikey profile. I'll look into that.

I also hadn't heard of hyper empathy being a trait I'll also look at that.

I'm being tested privately through a non profit which works locally and specialises in this work. They don't just do testing though, they do initial consultation and then explore where a diagnosis may be appropriate. I wasn't keen on one where you pay money and get a diagnosis and nothing else. As I feel they are pressured to give the diagnosis in a way.

I wonder the same. I’m socially really confident, can chat to anyone.

But I’m really rigid. Hate my routines being thrown out. Bad anxiety about the opposite sex when a young adult, scared of having sex. Overall bad anxiety and get overwhelmed easily. Sensory issues, and was a really difficult child. Hyper focus.

But I make friends really easily and can read people. So l don’t know.

I'm excellent at reading people and actually a really good communicator, despite being autistic with ADHD. I'm also really good at my job as I do real detail.

Doesn't mean that I'm able to look after myself properly or that I don't get hugely overwhelmed though. Nd impacts my life in all areas, some good, some bad. It's really not a super power though!

You don’t need to tick every box to be diagnosed with something and autism is no different.

Have you heard of the Autistic Girls Network? It might be worth googling and reading some of their material as many men seem to have more stereotypical traits of autism but it can look very different in some women (not always, of course). Females are often better at masking and studying others to learn the correct response and intention, but this can be a learnt trait and one you aren’t necessarily aware formed in childhood.

Reading and understanding people can be a form of ‘special interest’

Autistic people also can have a very developed skill in pattern recognition, so perhaps with people your brain very adeptly puts together changes in body language, vocal modulation, other similar incidences with other people and identifies a pattern in theme and behaviours and can predict motive and outcome at a level that’s a bit forensic compared to the average person.

It’s a misguided assumption that all autistic people are socially unaware and lack interpersonal skills. Some are actually amazing with understanding peoples real intent and motivations under the presented veneer/ mask, because as I say it’s a sort of unrecognised special interest. Like putting fellow humans under a microscope and working out what makes them tick.

Being very adept with reading people can also be a trauma response. A lot of late diagnosed individuals have a lot of trauma from growing up ‘different’ and not having the adjustments they need to navigate the world without stress and misunderstandings.

Thank you for starting this thread! I am 47 and similar, sensory issues (can’t have any clothes labels on my skin and wear under layers inside out), strong sense of justice, come to a complete standstill when overwhelmed and go to bed. I definitely have adhd traits, great enthusiasm about one thing after the other but dislike completing anything.

I have lots of empathy and am socially confident, no anxiety in new social situations, make friends easily but find maintaining contact difficult as I’ll get involved in something new.

I can only sit in one place on the sofa and at the dining table, I would be a mess if I had a hot desking job instead of a space of my own.

my mum and partner of 15 years think I am autistic but most people would not. I really want to learn more and it’s very helpful to hear others are similar!

Following

Also following.

Autism is a spectrum in the sense it's like a big circle, not A to Z. Every autistic person has areas of strength / weakness. I have a terrible imagination but my autistic dd does not.

Ooh this is so interesting. I'm pretty certain that various family members have undiagnosed autism. I think I have traits but don't think I'd meet the criteria for a full diagnosis. However all of us can read people pretty well, are quite empathetic, and (I think!) have a pretty good sense of humour. Those things meant autism didn't occur to me until the last few years.

The traits that do make me think autism (for my family members) are anxiety, difficulty in social situations, difficulty holding down a job or completing simple tasks despite high intelligence, and burnout.

For myself, I was bullied throughout school for being uncool and not fitting in. However, I remember thinking even then that I had a pretty good understanding of the school social system and why some people were popular and others weren't. I just couldn't put what I knew into practice.

I'm now pretty confident socially, it just took me a long time to learn it. I'm very empathetic (though not always in a helpful way). I sometimes think, am I autistic and masking well, or am I not autistic at all and just a bit geeky? I do have to sometimes remind myself "don't be weird" :)

Sometimes it’s not necessarily about being able to read people, but about the overall social situation. You can be really good at picking up on how people really feel but utterly rubbish at gauging whether it would be wise to bring this to their attention or what might be going on with the relationships within and between groups. I can’t handle or process group dynamics very well and can work for years in the same place blissfully unaware (and uninterested) that Gillian from Business Process has an ongoing feud with Sue from Finance and Joe in Transformation is after his line manager’s job. In such an environment being able to tell how someone really feels is like pressing the trigger on a hand grenade.