Is anyone around? FIL has died suddenly

[Snowpake]

dh got a call a few minutes ago and headed to the care home. On the way he got another call that they were giving fil cpr and there is very little chance he will recover.

im home with the dc in bed and no one to talk to so hoping I can talk here?

We were very close. Saw him 2 or 3 times a week, apart from the last month when I’ve been too fucking busy. I haven’t seen him since Christmas Day

i’m so sorry OP, what a shock for you all. Would you like to talk about him?

I'm sorry. That must be a big shock. I hope you're ok x

I'm so sorry OP.

If i talk about him it will be so identifying! He was one of a kind. A real character

I'm so sorry for your loss, what a shock for you all x

Aww hunni what a shock 😔

That's a big shock for you, I'm sorry to hear of your loss.

Dc will be devastated. So will dh obviously. Fuck

Sounds like a very special man. How lovely to be so appreciated by his family.

I didn’t see him on Sunday like I was meant to. I don’t know what to do.

Sounds like you had a lovely relationship with him, cherish your memories, he is always in your hearts. Sorry for your loss.

He sounds like he was a lovely man. I’m sure he understood that you were unable to visit. You had a lovely relationship and that was the important thing.

Sorry for your loss. How old was your FIL?

I dont know how to support my husband. He’s already off work with stress. I don’t know what to do, can you miss work for an in law dying? I have just started a new job.

I’m so sorry, love. That is so terribly sad. Surely your workplace will be understanding. Mine was.

Sending love and a hand hold xxx

Fil was 76. He had been ill for a while but we had no idea he was near the end. Apparently he was a bit away with the fairies on the weekend but he always was! We were just sorting out some plans with him for when the weather got warmer.

Sorry for your loss, but you just need to take each hour as it is. 1 step at a time. Just be kind to yourself and others ( god, that sounds too cliche for words). Remember things will pass and get easier with time. Unfortunately you will just have to make things work. I know it’s not going to be easy ☕️🍰

Nothing you can or 'should' do. The care home will handle the immediate practicalities, the funeral home will then take over.

It's OK. You, your DH and your children will be fine.

Of course you can. Any decent employer would be sensitive to this situation.

Im very sorry for your loss. Please don’t relive the decisions you made close to the end of his life about not seeing him, you had no idea the end was so near. I’m sure he knew you all loved him dearly xx

Most employers would give compassionate leave following a bereavement, although it may not be paid time off.

Take things one step at a time.

It sounds like you had a wonderful relationship and he knows he was loved. I’m so sorry for your loss, be kind to yourself. Keep talking here if it helps xxx

Whatever you and your husband do is the right thing to do, there is no right or wrong way to grieve.

Call your line mgr tomorrow and explain that yr FiL has died suddenly and unexpectedly, your husband needs support to get him through the first 24 hrs. Yr company will have a compassionate leave policy, so take a look at that.

Next stop the guilt, instead fix on a couple of positive and happy memories, that is a good way to remember him. Perhaps the most supportive thing to do is help him with the end of life admin. If it's helpful DM me as I have a couple of pages that I have developed over the years that may get help.

Finally, I am sorry that you and your family have lost such a lovely sounding dad and grandpa. Be kind to yourself and each other.