Anyone noticed an increase in weird stalker behaviour on mumsnet?

[A12348]

I was stalked on here by some oddball earlier this month. Which I reported.

I’ve just seen more weird stalker type behaviour on another thread. All are on relatively serious threads when a woman is requiring genuine help and advice.

Has anyone else noticed an increase?

The world is full of weirdos and sites like this attract them like flies to poo. Report, block, ignore. Don't give them any attention whatsoever and don't let them get under your skin.

I had the same name for years and never had a problem but see it happen to others so often now that I don’t want to be part of someone’s weird little hobby. I think it got worse during lockdown, people were so caught up in catching people out that they turned into little wannabe detectives.
They like a gotcha moment, ‘you said that you don’t eat UPF’s but in 2012 you posted saying that you ate a doughnut. Explain that Miss liar!’ Very tiresome.

edit as hilariously wrong thread!

I saw a post last night where almost every reply was from the same poster, more than thirty. That's weird too.

Fine to comment on a thread if you're in a discussion and you're being tagged.

Agree for people do derail from someone who just wants advice and make it about them.

It hasn’t happened to me, I name change all the time which I guess helps.

I have noticed a huge increase in people saying to posters “In your other thread you said…” or worse, “Have you already posted about this?!” as if they’re some kind of armchair detective. I think those posters just make themselves look like prats, it doesn’t discredit the OP in my eyes.

Having been around for 11 years now I do think there is a much more male aggression flavour to the site, I wouldn’t be surprised if it was majority male on many threads now. I think a lot of women-haters joined at one point to try to redirect the women’s rights conversations, and then stuck around to cause drama and because the site is so fun.

I agree with all of that.

Weirdo here (waves)

MN is full of trolls, attention seekers and small minded, ableist, hate filled posters these days. So if I see an especially offensive post, I do tend to do an advanced search of the username before weighing in with a comment - and I consider it perfectly acceptable to mention info from the previous posts that question credibility.

Remember the sweet time when we had bun fights, now we have MN's militia. I totally see some of them, playing MN detective 😂and typing furiously.

I have. I had to report a poster for it recently and it's stopped.

Some sad, weird people on the internet.

I see people saying “haven’t you posted about this before?” eg if the OP is asking for advice about their relationship or their child’s behaviour etc. Like you’re only allowed to ask about the same thing once. And are being kept tabs on.

That's very strange behaviour. Report them to mumsnet hq.

I commented on your post about bullying about how I was in a similar situation a few years ago and ended up slapping the mum.

But please do report that person. That's very odd behaviour but I've had 1 person do similar to a few things I've commented on so I name change frequently.

I have noticed a huge increase in people saying to posters “In your other thread you said…” or worse, “Have you already posted about this?!” as if they’re some kind of armchair detective.

I find this really strange. I read a thread for the content and pay no attention to the posters name. I have no idea why some people look at previous posts/ comments etc and then bring it into the current thread. I think it’s a little bit ‘stalker’.

I have seen people referencing previous posts. But it wasn’t about me saying you I am strict vegan while on another thread saying I love jelly and icecream!

It was on threads with genuine suggestions to help women who have appear to have dubious male partners. Mainly signposting and saying they should access support and that the behaviour displayed is not what good partners do to a loved one.

I’m not then on another thread saying ‘I think it’s okay to gaslight/abuse etc your wife/girlfriend’. If an astute poster linked such threads I would understand why.

It's a bit gaslighty isn't it - to dig into someones past and say because of that their posts in the present aren't valid. Not pleasant and weird behaviour.

wow! 😲

It happened to me on here a few years ago, the poster has a very distinctive and recongisable posting style - was well known at the time and I'm sure is still posting to this day under a different username.
I think any public internet forum is just going to attract weirdos from time to time. It's a reminder to never assume that anyone is who or what they say they are on an anonymous chat forum.

I have had this happen recently. I posted about relationship issues with my husband and some mental health stuff. Someone somehow recognised me from a thread from over a decade ago under a different name, about my ex, linked it and started berating me about making repeated bad choices in relationships and being reliant on men.

I mean I'm not arguing with that, but a) I've had 3 relationships in my life and was single for many years between ex and husband and b) how the fuck did you recognise me from 10 years ago under a completely different name and situation??

I've had some other cases where previous threads under different names are brought up because I think I can be quite recognisable even with name changes but that was the one that was like wtf (and I do think it's a crappy thing to do anyway, people name change for a reason!)

I saw Karen's post about her daughter being bullied and thought some of the comments were unbelievably awful...I did actually search one or two of the nasty commenters out of interest, because I thought - these people have got to be trolls.

Perhaps I'm too invested in the old MN that doesn't exist anymore and it's time to step away.

That is bizarre! And also, who the F* do they think they are 🤯

I've had this happen. 'Weren't you the poster who had a boyfriend last week' was a memorable one (I'm gay, I must've just had some similarities in a thread I started, to a completely different poster!) I kept thinking 'There are a LOT of people use MN you know?! Surely I am not the only one who lives near an X and has a dog and uses a gym?' (or whatever).

I've also had someone say 'You're the poster who... (xyz) ' I wasn't/aren't that poster, I apparently just 'have a similar writing style, then'. Okay? I seldom notice people's writing styles at all unless they hugely stand out (such as people who use a lot of text speak, not normal for this site, or write in huge blocks no paragraphs and even then I'd not go looking for other threads that might be theirs. I think that's a bit weird.

I do name change sometimes but not enough.

Yes! I forgot, but I've had this happen before. I hadn't posted about the subject before, if it had been posted before it wasn't me but again, surely out of all the people who use this site, it is fairly normal for two of them to have a similar-ish sort of situation in close time proximity? Life doesn't work in a way that only one person ever has a situation going on and nobody else has in a short time frame?

That's got to be someone that knows you in real life.

I never check my notifications or whether I ever get personal messages, so I really wouldn’t know.

I commented my opinion on a thread that another user clearly didn't agree with. She must have clearly advanced searched my username and then tagged me and said "I can't believe you did/said this 3 weeks ago blah blah blah" so pathetic!

Have been changing my username regularly ever since.