Not sure quite how to word this hence slightly odd title…
Out for dinner last night and one friend had been on a leadership course and was talking about visualisation and that got on to discussions of manifestation. My friend was really impressed with the talk on visualisation and thought would be helpful for her team.
I didn’t say anything but I have a fear of visualisation. I’ve tried a couple of times and it never has worked/things don’t happens. I don’t catastrophise in the alternative I just don’t think about it if that makes sense. Say I’m going for a job interview, I would be scared of visualising doing well at the interview and getting job, visualising working in job. Instead I just prepare really hard and take the view “we will see what happens”. I’ve done well professionally, but I do feel I’ve had to work incredibly hard and overcome some massive adversities to get there (and am proud of that). I feel that’s my USP a bit I’m a grafter who gets knocked down and gets up again. One of my bosses on a reference said I was like one of those things you punch and gets back up (it was a nice reference and he was saying what a fighter I was).
I’m sure people will say “oh you are doing it wrong”, maybe I am. I had a big project, I visualised doing well, my boss being really pleased and getting a promotion I had hoped for as a result (it was that time of year). Project went well, but boss gave me a pat on the back and I didn’t get promoted.i got promoted a year later. Im sure some people will say, “that was all part of the visualisation/manifestation” it just took longer, and I just think I worked hard. There’s other times I’ve thought to the future and good things happening and then they don’t and I’ve ended up with this, I know, totally illogical view/fear, that if I visualise it going well it won’t happen. I’m normally very logically but this is something which I just have this fear about.
I do have a history of trauma and so I am probably rather cynical and also vigilant about things going wrong rather then right, but I just wondered if anyone else felt the same, that if they visualise/manifest some fantastic outcome it won’t happen? Has anyone overcome this, did it help?. I suppose I’m pondering this as I do feel worn down, as I say I’ve overcome a lot and I’m really proud of that, but it’s exhausting having this constant feeling of needing to graft being ready to get over the next challenge.