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Original poster

Would you drive 25 minutes for a birthday party?

170 replies

SparePartz · 22/01/2024 14:05

DD would like to do a certain activity, but it's 25 minutes (via motorway) or 40 minutes driving. Or 60 minutes by foot/public transport.

Would you take your child to a 12th birthday party so far away?

Would you be happy to give the fare (£15) as a gift if your child came with us on public transport?

OP posts:
ColouringPencils · 22/01/2024 15:27

It probably depends what people are used to where you live. For example, I live in a city, so a party in a different town/city would seem a bit extra. If you live in a small town or countryside and people are always driving into the city for shopping and clubs, they probably would think about it.

Icantbedoingwithit · 22/01/2024 15:28

I would never ask for travel fare if I invited a child to my child’s party.

User35246242 · 22/01/2024 15:31

This thread is slightly bonkers. First time finding out that there are actually people who think 25mins is too far to drive? And others who think that distance requires carpooling arrangements? Is it about petrol money? Wasting too much time? Fear of motorways?

Surely the whole point of owning a car is so you can enrich your life, and that of your family, by being able to get to any place at any time. Why even have a car if you're rationing the usage like a bus timetable?

CharlotteBog · 22/01/2024 15:36

Where do you live, OP. I mean are your rural, town, city? I'm struggling to understand why the travel is an issue, or you think it might be an issue for some.

Jessieshome · 22/01/2024 15:37

25 minutes? That's no distance at all?! Where I live in the countryside everything is 25 minutes away, including the supermarket's, hospital, college. But even in a town I wouldn't think twice about driving 25 minutes. It'd be nice for the party organiser to take as many as possible in their cars and take into account in travel issues some parents might have. But 25 mins is nothing!

BungleandGeorge · 22/01/2024 15:38

How far away is it? If it’s 25mins motorway or an hour public transport is it around 30 miles? Further? Usually the hosting parent would sort that out and really I think you should probably pay for them to go with you on public transport. Is it 15.60 for a child? Presumably that’s adult and child so if you had a group with you it wouldn’t cost you that much each? I do personally think 120 miles, 2-4 hours travelling (or would parents be invited to stay?) is an awful lot for a party and you’re somewhat downplaying by saying ‘25 minutes on the motorway’!

SheilaFentiman · 22/01/2024 15:39

User35246242 · 22/01/2024 15:31

This thread is slightly bonkers. First time finding out that there are actually people who think 25mins is too far to drive? And others who think that distance requires carpooling arrangements? Is it about petrol money? Wasting too much time? Fear of motorways?

Surely the whole point of owning a car is so you can enrich your life, and that of your family, by being able to get to any place at any time. Why even have a car if you're rationing the usage like a bus timetable?

Carpooling is because 25 mins away is too far to do anything but hang around if you are also bringing your kid home, as activity parties are usually 1.5-2h. So either one parent takes the noise/cold/standing around for a few people, and another one does it next time, or one drops and another picks up so neither gets too bored.

also, reduces petrol and pollution.

Maddy70 · 22/01/2024 15:40

Thats really not far at all ...

SheilaFentiman · 22/01/2024 15:40

BungleandGeorge · 22/01/2024 15:38

How far away is it? If it’s 25mins motorway or an hour public transport is it around 30 miles? Further? Usually the hosting parent would sort that out and really I think you should probably pay for them to go with you on public transport. Is it 15.60 for a child? Presumably that’s adult and child so if you had a group with you it wouldn’t cost you that much each? I do personally think 120 miles, 2-4 hours travelling (or would parents be invited to stay?) is an awful lot for a party and you’re somewhat downplaying by saying ‘25 minutes on the motorway’!

Utterly disagree that it is the hosting parent’s job to get guests there. If you invite your mates for a birthday curry, do you pay their train fare?

BeaRF75 · 22/01/2024 15:42

Er, 25 minutes is virtually on the doorstep..... I don't understand the problem!

FortunataTagnips · 22/01/2024 15:42

25 minutes is totally fine. I wouldn’t get involved in people’s travel arrangements - just meet everyone there.

NotToYou · 22/01/2024 15:44

25 minutes isn't far at all!

Teateaandmoretea · 22/01/2024 15:46

SheilaFentiman · 22/01/2024 15:39

Carpooling is because 25 mins away is too far to do anything but hang around if you are also bringing your kid home, as activity parties are usually 1.5-2h. So either one parent takes the noise/cold/standing around for a few people, and another one does it next time, or one drops and another picks up so neither gets too bored.

also, reduces petrol and pollution.

Show quote history

@SheilaFentiman well quite - utterly bonkers that 4 parents would do the journey when 1 could do it. Driving around needlessly doesn’t ‘enrich’ your life 🤷🏻‍♀️

And why would the birthday child’s parents not take as many as possible?

Original poster
SparePartz · 22/01/2024 15:47

It's 29km from our village.

OP posts:
HoneyButterPopcorn · 22/01/2024 15:47

Jeez we are in London. You can sit in traffic for an hour going from home to a kids party.

LolaSmiles · 22/01/2024 15:51

I'd drive 25 minutes for a party, but wouldn't want to be messing around giving party family money for trains and busses with my children. It's my job to get them to and from parties.

The time of the party would make a difference to me, and whether it was really 25 minutes, or whether it's 25 minutes on Google maps from party family's house, but it's longer from mine and then there's traffic.

If in reality it was more than half an hour for me and/or the time was awkward then I probably wouldn't unless it was a close friend of DC, mainly because that's a large part of our family weekend.

RampantIvy · 22/01/2024 15:51

Do you only go to local parties for local people?

We live rurally. When DD was at primary school most parties were at soft play places that took that long to get to. We used to lift share. Because of the time it took to get there and back it wasn't worth coming home so the parents used to get a coffee and natter amongst themsleves while the children played.

Singleandproud · 22/01/2024 15:51

I probably wouldn't have done if it's an awkward journey when I couldn't drive but now I can drive it wouldn't be an issue.
£15 per person may well add up to a large amount, you might be better off looking into a minibus taxi instead that takes you door to door.

SallyWD · 22/01/2024 15:54

Yes 25 minutes travel to a party is pretty standard surely?

Bookworm20 · 22/01/2024 15:56

I would and I have. However I would make sure that there is somewhere for parents to wait during the activity, as its quite a trek to drop off and then come back for them.
Only saying this as dropped my DD at a party, but was under the impression there would be somewhere for all the parents to wait as it was a 50 minute drive from where we all lived (including birthday child). Only to be told on arrival, thanks, we'll see you in 3 hours.
And then I had to go and find a cafe somewhere to kill the time as nowhere immediately suitable to wait for 3 hours.
It was the impression given, as so far to drive, that there was an area for parents to sit and wait. In fact there was and party mum said we can wait there, but would have to pay the £20 admission to get in.
A heads up would have been good.

MrsAvocet · 22/01/2024 15:57

User35246242 · 22/01/2024 15:31

This thread is slightly bonkers. First time finding out that there are actually people who think 25mins is too far to drive? And others who think that distance requires carpooling arrangements? Is it about petrol money? Wasting too much time? Fear of motorways?

Surely the whole point of owning a car is so you can enrich your life, and that of your family, by being able to get to any place at any time. Why even have a car if you're rationing the usage like a bus timetable?

Convenience. So that not every parent has to spend their afternoon hanging around waiting for their child to do whatever the activity is. So that whatever other commitments some of the other families might have on that day don't have to be cancelled. Because less people driving is better for the environment and puts less pressure on parking spaces. Because it's a considerate offer to make to your child's friends and their parents.
Distance has nothing to do with it. We share transport with another family in our village when we're both going to the same sports fixtures whether it is 10 minutes away or 2 hours. It's just silly and wasteful to take 2 vehicles to the same place at the same time when one can do the job perfectly well. In fact sharing for short journeys is probably more beneficial than long ones from both the environmental perspective and for the longevity of your car.

ColouringPencils · 22/01/2024 16:00

29km is quite a long way for a party. I think if you had mentioned the distance in your OP you might have had a less positive response! Then again, as you live in a village maybe people attending the party are used to travelling to everything.

polarbrew · 22/01/2024 16:01

We don't have a car so would have to take public transport, so the 60 mins would be a pain. Especially as we'd have to fit it around other activities with other dcs so it might mean them not being able to do it that week. I'd find a way to do it as I wouldn't want them to miss out, but I'd be silently grumbling about it.

BagsaMunroe · 22/01/2024 16:02

Seriously @SparePartz ?

Do you think a 25 min drive is a long way?

I've driven DCs for 45 mins to get to parties.

Itslegitimatesalvage · 22/01/2024 16:03

We live rurally so this is every birthday party, and no one bats an eyelid. The party parent will make a group chat though and everyone arranges to car share so you only actually have to drive to a couple a year each.