To get out of teaching or not ?

[LanaL]

Hi

There is a similar thread already on here , but mine is slightly different so thought I would post separately rather than hijack that thread !

I think I want to get out of teaching but I’m not sure if I should give up so early and if I do …. What else can I do??

Backstory - trained for 5 years to become a primary teacher ( access course , retook a GCSE , degree in childhood , family and education studies and a PGCE ) . I worked as a full time, permanent teacher for one and a half terms - therefore only gaining one term of my ECT - then I’ve been working in supply since ( a year ) . I worked in the same school that I had completed my final placement in , so I didn’t really have any experience of other schools ( my first placement was in a tiny little village school that was a lovely environment but my hand was very much held the whole way through , my mentor was lovely but she was a strong character and a lot older than me so I feel she really held my hand ) the second placement , where I had the job after I qualified, was in a much bigger school. I had lots of support but my hand definitely wasn’t held and I was treated as a teacher from day 1 . This is the school where I really progressed . However, when I qualified I always felt like a student. The school was an amazing school for the students , but the expectation was extremely high. Staff morale was low. I was overwhelmed. I still felt like a student , because I felt like they knew me as a student not a teacher . I can’t really blame the school here as they did give me support but I just felt like a little lost girl. I had no confidence and observations caused me so much anxiety . I was never told I was a bad teacher , In fact when I left SLT were shocked to hear how I was feeling they told me I was a wonderful teacher - one member of SLT told me they would be so happy if I was their child’s teacher , they all told me they thought I was very confident and self assured, they told me they had not had a single concern and would give me a great reference. As I left the head hugged me and said “
please don’t go away thinking you are a bad teacher , because you are great. Take some time to work on yourself because you need to be happy in a role and believe in yourself . My ECT report was all positive. During my time on supply I spent a lot of time in another school and they invited my to apply. I did and I didn’t get it however in feedback I was told that my lesson observation was perfect- they told me they had no criticism for it and not to change it for another interview, they said it was very close with another candidate and that in the end it came down to “ nitty gritty “ and that if they had another job it would have been mine. They said I was 100% a very close second and the head copied me into emails to recommend me to other schools hiring however I didn’t go for the other roles . They said my answers to safeguarding questions were the best they ever heard in all their time of interviewing and the only feedback was that I didn’t say enough about AFL ( but we’re very clear that it wasn’t the reason I didn’t get the job ) and that one answer where I talked about a change I implemented to support a sen child I spoke a lot about what I did but didn’t really say how it had impacted the child ( again they said this isn’t why I didn’t get the job , but it was advice) they said that had the other candidate not been there then they would have offered me the job and kept saying it really came down to small things in the end - I do wonder if the fact I had been supply there was a factor as I know they would have had to pay a finders fee.

So , really I don’t massively doubt my ability in that aspect - but I do have imposters syndrome I think! With both that interview and my other job I sometimes think did I just mask it well , am I actually crap but I just performed well on a fluke !

I haven’t applied for other jobs , I love supply and my confidence has skyrocketed . I’ve learnt so much and I feel confident walking into a new classroom and teaching but I worry that if I went for a job will I crumble under observations and pressure . When I worked in the school permanently I was exhausted. I would get into school at 730/745 and leave at 6pm, usually with a box of books to mark. I worked through lunch , I worked a few hours at home each night and I used to give myself Saturday off and then Sunday I would be working at the laptop for hours. I had to print and stick work into at least 90 books per day and then mark them. The marking policy for core subjects was crazy . I had children that were struggling and yet had to be given work at a certain level , even though I knew they couldn’t do it . I had quite a lot of needs with no TA
support. There were a lot of children that could do nothing independently yet I somehow had to get them through their work and yet be present for the rest of the class and it felt impossible. I felt like every lesson was a race . The behaviour expectations were very high so I was always on edge thinking if someone came in and the class were noisy or anyone out of their seats I would be judged and I didn’t know how to do all this. I’ve been in to other schools and see it’s not the same in them but then I wonder if I was permanent there would it be the same? There are a lot of schools where I see the staff aren’t happy and so I wouldn’t apply for a job there , I have had staff actually tell me not to because it’s awful, but then I’ve been in schools the opposite where staff are so happy and say how wonderful it is to work there - these type of schools never have jobs though as staff turnaround is low . The school I applied for was one such school and I would apply again if they had a vacancy but they have not yet and I know the vacancy I applied for was the first one that had came up in 4 years .

Just a lot of pressure and I don’t know if I can take that again but I also want to at least completely my ECT, but then some days I think is there something else I can do instead and just forget about teaching .

I love teaching . 830-330 teaching. I love helping a child learn something new . I love the children . I have been told I have a great relationship with children . I have a special place in my heart for SEN children or those with barriers that need that extra support . I’m a firm believer that every child should have the same access to education and if there are barriers then more should be done to help them. But I feel as a teacher because of the never ending to do list and all the other things you have to do other than teach , you’re limited to what you can actually do.

Do I give it another go and maybe I’ll find that school that is right for me or is it the same everywhere and if I don’t have the resilience then I should do something else ? If so , what?

I’ll also add that when I left my other job I had a lot going on in my personal life and I think that made it worse . It had always been difficult but I had managed but then the month I left I had had something happen in my personal life that was quite big and sent me into a bit of a depression. I do wonder if that hadn’t happened would I have been able to power through . That is over now , however I have massive anxiety - health anxiety is a big one - and this sounds so silly but my smear is due in sep this year , my last 3 years ago I had some issues that were sorted by my test of cure , but I’m already in a rabbit hole of worry about the next one and convincing myself that it’s going to be bad and I feel like the whole year I’ll be focused on this so is it just asking for trouble to go back in … OR will having something to focus on be a good thing ? On supply I can have days where I have no work, today is one and I’m in a bad health anxiety place already today but last week I worked all week and didn’t really think about it . In fact I had no
“symptoms” of anything until the weekend when I had no work and knew I wasn’t working Monday so began to do the whole Googling disease thing .

I don’t know what I’m asking really - maybe just advice from teachers . Have you had a bad experience but then gone to another school and it’s been different or did you just take the leap and leave and if so what did you do ?

Hello OP. Retired teacher here. My feeling is that if you think you could finish your ECT and get your qualification, without putting yourself under pressure you can’t handle, then this would be a good achievement.
After you have your qualification I suggest you look for roles where you do not have full class teacher responsibility so you perhaps share a class with a part time teacher, and/or do small group work or SEN support, or even work as a high level TA. This would cut down the anfter hours workload pressure, and the observation pressure to some extent annd allow you to do more of the ‘enjoy teaching 8-3.30 you mention. You would have lots of choices.
So find a school where they know that your main objective at this stage is to finish your ECT. How about a maternity cover or something?
Kindly OP, everything you say in your post is articulate but it’s far too detailed so try to cut it down to the main points when you are applying for a job. So prepare your CV etc and comments, answers to interview questions and the go through again and make a much shorter point. Get a trusted friend or colleague to help you if necessary.
Good Luck.

If you feel that trying to get fully qualified as a teacher is just too stressful for you, and you do mention anxiety etc and feelings of uncertainty, then maybe you would be better to qualify as a TA? I don’t know much about the process for this so maybe someone else can help with information about this.

I loved teaching. Observations destroyed my mental health to the point l got ill health retirement.

My last observation before l left was outstanding with no key areas for improvement.

Still couldn’t hack it. Couldn’t bear being watched.

No regrets at leaving.

I don’t think this would be any better for me to be honest. TA’s are massively underpaid and overworked as it is , I know from speaking to others and from what I’ve seen that if I applied for a TA role as a qualified teacher i would likely be snapped up but then I would be used as a teacher but paid as a TA . The pay for a TA is appalling and even though I’m only on the first pay point for a teacher at 30k , the drop to TA pay is huge . If I was working as a TA but they know I’m a qualified teacher and can legally be put on my own with a class of
30, can legally teach , have more than small groups for trips etc then I can’t imagine them ever paying for a supply teacher in the event of staff absence etc . I have seen TAs be put in classes when teachers have left etc as unqualified teachers - doing all the work for pennies - and that’s when they are - for want of a better word and not undermining the work they do - “only” a TA so I dread to think how a qualified teacher working as a TA would be taken advantage of x

( I am fully qualified, I have QTS . ECT is a framework that all new teachers must do in order to move up pay scales but there is no time limit on it - you can only do 5 years on supply before you need to pass your ECT training - but other than that there isn’t )

I'm a retired teacher. You sound very anxious and one of the things about the role of the teacher is that you have to, at least, appear confident in front of the class and other teachers even if you don't feel it.

Finishing your ECT year (? sorry, I'm not up to date with the terminology it was Probationary Year in my time) would be a good idea as then you are definitely a qualified teacher and have a few options. I'm going to be harsh though and say that life in a typical state school can present difficulties with children, parents and other staff and you do need to be resilient. If you can't do this there may be other options like a job in school working with smaller groups, education not in a school (when I retired I had a volunteer role on a farm giving outdoor education alongside qualified teachers who were paid) or an education department in a museum, zoo etc, although this will pay less. I have worked in school with teachers who probably should not have been teachers and it was difficult for other staff and even worse for them.

I hope you find something you want to do and wish you well.

Sorry to hear this. Thank you for sharing .

Its awful isn’t it? To have someone come in and judge you , in a situation that doesn’t show your real teaching. In a normal lesson you learn to adapt, you know what suits your class , you stop if you realise they need more work on something in order to progress , you teach in a style you know that works . But in an observation you ate being watched by someone who may not have taught for a long time themselves and may have never taught that year group and you are trying to stick to every part of a bells and whistles lesson plan , trying to model in exact ways that the school recommend that may not suit your class and trying to not deviate at all . Teacher autonomy is not present at all x

You have got options but only you can decide. You are finding some of the demands of teaching to be difficult, I’m not surprised at all and lots of people will say teaching is a nightmare job. If doing TA is not appealing either or part time/SEN roles, then you could either cast your net wider to find a job connected to education ( if that’s where your interests lie)but different style to actually being in the classroom.
If these other options don’t appeal then really you would be better to get out now and find a different career you will find enjoyable. Don’t waste any more time.

This.

Get out whilst you can.

l waited 15 years, despite being terrified of observations. And it’s nothing to do with confidence. I was a very confident teacher in the classroom, and generally very very socially confident. I could walk into a room of loads of people and give a lecture.

Its to do with being scrutinised. They just got harder and harder. I had hypnosis and everything, but couldn’t stand being observed. All my lessons were outstanding when observed.

I was a good teacher but detested being observed. You sound like a great teacher. I think teaching is a wonderful profession. Supply teaching imo is hardest of all and if you could do that, you definitely have the gift. It would be a great loss to so many children if you give up teaching. I was always sensitive to any criticism and I think that being sensitive yourself is often part of being sensitive and in tune with your pupils.

My current school implemented a new style of observations last year and I love it, it's actually so helpful! We are given an window of a week and during that week, at some point of my choice, I have to video the class for 20mins while I teach using the web cam on my PC. No bells or whistles. Bog standard run of the mill day in day out teaching. The kids aren't prepped, they don't play up for any other observers in the room. I'm not being watched, there's noone scribbling notes in the corner. I am so much more relaxed and I can choose what session I video. I stop and take a different route if that is what is needed. I'm confident. I save it and watch it back myself. All I see is the faces and responses of the children, their engagement, behaviour, and I hear my management and direction of resources/TA etc. Essentially I observe myself. Then I submit it to SLT and a few days later one of them comes down to watch it with me and we discuss it. It's an open conversation, not scrutiny. I see what they see, and I see what I missed in the lesson too! It's entirely about personal improvement and I actually find it so helpful. There's no anxiety. I wonder if something like this could work for you?

I had an awful NQT year and was threatened with failing, asked for the governors to release me from contract (outside of the usual deadlines) and then went on supply. I built myself back up and I'm so glad I did because I had (have) more to give.

Finish your ECT years. Give yourself home time deadlines (e.g. log-off and switch off at 6pm daily, go home). Stick to them. Make small changes to work smarter not harder/longer. Start live marking in lessons so you don't have to after the kids leave. Train the children to stick in their own learning so you don't have to. Use the plans from last year, adapt them to your cohort. Ask for help when you need it. Good luck, it doesn't sound like you're ready to give it up yet.

Ex teacher here. The only way to survive is to draw a line - you won’t work every evening, you will only mark a certain number of books ( why are you sticking stuff in, they can do that), you will use AFL and get them to self assess, you do verbal feedback and class targets, you use existing resources rather than create your own etc etc. There are so many ways to manage it. On the continent teachers teach to ‘the book’ and they think this constant reinvention of the wheel we do here is crazy. Take control.

As for observations ~ they are learning points not assessments. Your observer should be a critical friend and support you. Try to reframe this in your mind. I’ve been through loads of OFSTEDs and been observed every year - and I’ve been that observer too. Just do what you always do and challenge things you feel are unfair. Accept what is fair. Appraisal takes place in every job - you won’t escape that whatever you do.

Look, some people just aren’t cut out for the job temperamentally. I managed because I just saw it as a job; huge emotional investment doesn’t make you a good teacher. Try to evaluate your personality and work out whether it will ever make you happy.

They maybe learning points in some schools, but they also frequently used to manage out members of staff.

We used to have appraisals without observations. You don’t need an observation as part of a. Appraisal, the results should be enough. Does anyone else get observed doing their job? Shop assistant? Nurse? Architect?