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Original poster

Have you ever made a big change to your life…

34 replies

Incogg · 21/01/2024 11:07

..? And if so, how did it go? (If not, what are your thoughts in hindsight?).

I’m particularly thinking about a move of house with lots of lifestyle change, but interested in wider examples.

OP posts:
Heyhoherewegoagain · 21/01/2024 11:11

Mine was kicked off by a house move which led to improved mental health (I only moved a mile 😂) but this improvement led me to have clarity about my HUGE weight issue and what I needed to do to deal with it (surgery), which I then did, and the change in my life has been immeasurable since then (well I can measure the 14 1/2 stones I lost!) but the change in my mindset has been phenomenal. I’m now making up for at least 20 years that I lost due to being so overweight . My 50s is MY decade!
(and now I’m away to name change as this is very outing)

heartofglass23 · 21/01/2024 11:22

Yeah a few times.

Original poster
Incogg · 21/01/2024 11:44

@Heyhoherewegoagain thays very interesting! I could hope for similar health advantages!

Given it was only a mile, what do you think made the difference?

OP posts:
Heyhoherewegoagain · 21/01/2024 12:03

Incogg · 21/01/2024 11:44

@Heyhoherewegoagain thays very interesting! I could hope for similar health advantages!

Given it was only a mile, what do you think made the difference?

It’s a very specific design if house. and location in the locality with a very specific view relating to my childhood home

Original poster
Incogg · 21/01/2024 12:24

Fascinating - thank you for explaining.

OP posts:
BiddyPop · 21/01/2024 12:59

A few times.

Latest is a move overseas - currently solo as dd is in final year in school so exams year. And DH job not conducive to doing abroad. But he has done similar in the past.

I am only getting settled (moved in Nov but only got apartment this past week so unpacking and organising still - but at least I have all my clothes again!). But I am enjoying it so far - a big challenge but interesting and exciting.

Costacoffeeplease · 21/01/2024 13:25

Moved to southern Europe 20 years ago. We’re still here!

Original poster
Incogg · 21/01/2024 14:58

What did you do with your stuff? I am no hoarder but I have a tonne of books.

OP posts:
OldTinHat · 21/01/2024 15:22

Yes. DC left home, I had a house and mortgage I could no longer afford so I moved to a county where I didn't know a soul, or the area, to downsize but still keep a bedroom for each DC.

That was 5yrs ago. Best thing I ever did!

Original poster
Incogg · 21/01/2024 15:26

Wow, what drew you to your new county? I’m tempted to move to be nearer the sea, and to downsize.
I want a big change, but also, I no longer recognise the area I grew up in. The demographics are changing and I’m feeling older and not as resilient as I once did. I want to move somewhere quieter and safer.

OP posts:
ThisIsMyEden · 21/01/2024 15:35

Yes - came out of a nearly 20 year relationship as my daughter was going off to uni, got a new job and relocated to live beside the sea. I moved to a village I’d never even been to until the day I moved in. I love it here.

TokyoStories · 21/01/2024 15:54

I'm about to do this. I need a fresh start. Flat is on the market and planning on moving to a city where I don't know anyone. There's an organisation there I'd really like to work for, so hoping they'll have me. I've been here too long and I know if I stay I'll just fester.

I've been selling bits and pieces but I didn't have a lot of stuff to begin with. My biggest concern is packing and moving day itself, since I'm on my own. Oh and having a breakdown thinking I've made the wrong decision at the other end, but I think that's relatively common?

Original poster
Incogg · 21/01/2024 16:06

@ThisIsMyEden that sounds like something out of a novel. How did you choose your new home? Are you renting?

@TokyoStories how do you feel about leaving your social networks? One thing that has kept me festering too long is not just my friends, but neighbours/acquaintances that I have found so important when going through my divorce a few years ago.

OP posts:
suki1964 · 21/01/2024 16:31

Moved out of London ( born and bred) to another country and completely rural

Downside, I had to learn to drive

Upside. - everything. Space, clean air, community

TokyoStories · 21/01/2024 16:34

@Incogg I've thought about it and concluded that I don't really have any close friends here anymore, just people I meet up with from time to time and I'm not sure they're that bothered about me tbh... certainly not enough to stick around for. I'm keen to make new friends although I don't know how easy/difficult that will be. I'll try Meetup, Bumble BFF, maybe join a band etc. I'll try to have a year of saying 'yes' to everything.

One thing that's helped me is thinking about how I'll feel at the end of my life looking back. Although it's scary, I know I'd regret not moving on to this new chapter and giving it a good go. I'm stuck in a rut after living here for almost two decades, and I think it's going to take a big geographical change to wake me up.

Can you imagine yourself in five years? Where would you like to be in your life?

Jonersy22 · 21/01/2024 16:36

So many times! Moving abroad. Moving back. Having children. Buying a property needing major work. Doing the work. Divorce. Retraining in my 40s..
When the dc leave the home, i will probably change my life again. Might move abroad again.

suki1964 · 21/01/2024 16:37

Moved out of London ( born and bred) to another country and completely rural

Downside, I had to learn to drive

Upside. - everything. Space, clean air, community

kizziee · 21/01/2024 16:40

For those who have moved to somewhere new how have you found it trying to make new friends?

Caspianberg · 21/01/2024 16:42

Yes. Moved 1000+ km to southern Europe. Love it. A much better work life balance and freedom

WolfFoxHare · 21/01/2024 16:44

I changed my career and moved across the country for a new job, away from all my friends and family. It worked out well - I made new friends, met now-DH, we bought a house together, married, had DS, and my career is going well.

Original poster
Incogg · 21/01/2024 16:48

Can you imagine yourself in five years? Where would you like to be in your life?

I definitely have my head and heart set on moving, I'm just starting to work through the heart stuff as much as the practicalities.

OP posts:
TokyoStories · 21/01/2024 16:53

@WolfFoxHare So pleased it worked out for you, and gives me hope!

@Incogg I understand. Even though I've been wanting to move for a long time, it took me a good while to get my head around it, get a plan in place and start the process of selling. Wishing you well, whatever you decide!

chatelai · 21/01/2024 17:20

Yep.

Took a 20 year relationship ending and a couple of adventures en route to give me the nudge, but living slightly nomadically between 3 locations, doing a job I love now, having been in one town all my life and in the same career for 27 years previously.

As far as making friends is concerned, what is your age?

If you have kids, you'll make friends easily via school contacts etc. If older or without kids, ask around for a club in your new area. Without being too outing, in one place I do a sporting activity with the most welcoming and insane bunch of people, the second location I do a musical activity which is very sociable, the third location (where I am for the least amount of time) I take all my admin work and catch up on telly!

In five years I'd like to be a little less nomadic, quite fancy settling properly into one of the two main locations (they're about 100 miles apart and wonderful in very different ways, so it'd be a hard choice).

Fairymother · 21/01/2024 18:19

We moved to Australia from Europe for a few years. DHs home country and he wanted to go there to get another degree because he was unhappy about his job. He never even asked me! Just signed up to university there, and told me we are going.. So we left everything behind and moved there. I worked for his parents and he did too in his free time and they paid for our apartment etc. while he studied.
It worked out great and we had our first child there. When i was pregnant with my second i wanted to go back near my parents, so i packed us all up booked flights and left again! He followed 😄

suki1964 · 21/01/2024 18:41

kizziee · 21/01/2024 16:40

For those who have moved to somewhere new how have you found it trying to make new friends?

Quite easy tbh

But then living rural everyone is close knit and everyone gets invited everywhere.

Being Northern Ireland , communities are very church focussed, and whilst Im not a member of the congregation Im welcome to any of the activities. Joining groups that interest me, I do park run, knit and natter - I natter more then knit, local fitness classes , everyone networks everywhere and there is always something happening. Even at work, proper friendships are formed

We moved here not knowing a soul, the first people who invited us out for a meet and a drink was the Solicitors secretary , the second was the estate agent and wife :) Then my driving instructor invited us to be members of the British Legion, friendship was offered readily and welcomed

After about 5 years, I stopped missing London and my life that I had there. yes it was convenient but it was actually pretty lonely. Too darn busy being a wage slave to nurture friendships