Employer ranting at me because I rang in sick

[LikeWhyThough]

Just as the title says.

I am due to be in work tomorrow and have come down with, seemingly, a diarrhoea bug.
Stomach felt a bit "off" this morning and thought it was maybe my period starting and thought no more of it.

As the afternoon went on I became worse, developing stomach cramps, horrible, horrible pains, feeling nauseous, and you can imagine what came next.

After a few hours of not being able to be too far from the bathroom, I messaged my manager a heads up for tomorrow (this is allowed and a normal thing to do in my work) explaining that I wouldn't be able to come in for my shift tomorrow because I have a sickness bug. I also apologised for the inconvenience this would obviously cause.

Well, she was not impressed in the slightest. Said we had a busy day ahead, 2 people are already off on annual leave and I'm letting the team down. Could I not just see how I go tonight and come in tomorrow if I'm feeling up to it rather that decide now.

I have started vomiting now too and it's very clear that I am too unwell to work and will be no better by morning. Also, I'm going to be contagious and won't expose other people knowingly to my germs.

I just feel fucking terrible now that I have let her down by calling in sick. I have issues with people pleasing and I feel really upset that I've disappointed someone 😞

How do you deal with the guilt?

Ignore the guilt. School kids have to be off for 48 hours after D&V to avoid infection so you should do the same.

How dare she do this. Are u in care? My sister has this whenever she is ill. Switch off. Ignore.

She sounds like an idiot. Who cares if she's happy or not... you've told her you are really unwell with plenty of prior notice, she should be wanting to make sure you are OK and not making others ill.

If you died tomorrow they would have an advert out for your replacement by the end of the week so why worry that much about their opinion?

“I’m really unwell, with both vomiting and diarreah. I don’t want to potentially spread this to other team members. I am following the NHS advice which is to observe the 48hr rule NHS page

Personally I would have phrased it differently and said that currently I am ill and it is likely I won't be able to work tomorrow but wanted to give the heads up.

It feels a bit of an early cop out to just sat I'm sick now and won't be in tomorrow.

I get that it progressed to vomiting later on (which is a perfectly good reason to not be in work!), but you can have a reaction to something you ate and get the shits for a day and then be perfectly fine.

I hope you feel better soon OP.

Oh I will be. Thankfully my next shift isn't until Wednesday. If I'm still having symptoms by Monday then I will obviously not be going in. Will have to take the wrath of her anger again though so fingers crossed it doesn't come to that 😫

However did you know 😅?

usually i prefer to wait then at the last moment that i can is then text the boss

Well, this is very true.

I'm sure you can tell that I am extremely anxious and hate cancelling commitments.
I have gone into work before not feeling my best, but I draw the line at going in with stomach bugs that can make people very ill.

@LikeWhyThough I dislike managers like this, they should understand people cannot help sickness. I hate the guilt grip. I always think to myself, always give the minimum. They would replace us in a heartbeat. Hope you feel better soon and don't feel guilty! X

Thank you for this. Unfortunately, she doesn't give a shit about good health and hygiene practices 😩

Yes, perhaps you are right. I was wondering if it could be something I ate rather than a bug, but since there's no way to determine which one, I thought it better (and safer) too err on the side of caution and assume stomach bug. I wanted to give plenty of notice for her to find cover.

You haven't let her down at all. On the contrary, she's let you down as an employer with a supposed duty of care towards her employees. There is no guilt to be had on your part. Going forward, you can now let go of any sense of loyalty to your workplace if this is how much they value you.

She sounds vile.

You know what the right thing to do is.

people don’t stay working with shitty managers for long…

Well does she want more people off poorly with D&V if you go in and spread it?;I hope she gets it.

Sometimes people get ill and it can't be helped - even by going in and potentially making more of your team ill! Schools sometimes do this and it makes no sense to me for more people to be ill, come in and often work far below par etc rather than the person who is ill to just recover/wait til they're much less contagious and then come in. Hope you feel better soon.

If this is a one off then they are unreasonable if you are missing the fact this is the 10th time in a month you have called in sick that is something else

Go in, puke on her and go home. Well not really. But what an idiot she is you'd make the whole team ill. So then she'd be even more short stuffed. And this could also be a critical risk to a vulnerable person

Message back "honestly you do not want me at work I am squirting noxious substances from both ends and look like a corpse. Trying to guilt trip me into coming in when I am this ill is really not sensible because if I come in I will infect everyone else too and then you'll have the whole team off sick."

I think I'd have to fire a strong message back. She's way out of line. Obviously depends if you have a HR dept or how long you've worked there in terms of protection.

I'd reply "I'm not letting anyone down; I'm ill. Clearly it would be completely irresponsible and dangerous for me to attend work and spread D&V to vulnerable people, even if I were physically able to be there. I will keep you updated as per absence policy".

Staffing is her problem. If she's let too many people take holidays at the same time, that's for her to deal with. People get sick occasionally. That's life.

Concentrate on getting better and consider raising a grievance when you return to work. In both mine and DH's workplaces, a manager telling a sick employee they they are "letting the team down" would not be tolerated.

When interrogated, apologize for the inconvenience caused (just a pleasantry; it shows you acknowledge your boss’s position) then reiterate that you were simply too sick to come into work.

Whatever she says, smile sweetly, nod politely, then get on with your day. Do not engage with drama!

I can't believe you work in care and she's expecting you to go in with D&V