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Overly friendly neighbour

13 replies

L00k4m3x · 20/01/2024 16:57

Okay so I’m sorry if this ends up long winded but I’ll try and keep it short.

I’ve never really properly met my neighbours before. Said hi occasionally but it’s always been us initiating it, they’ve never said hi. They have never seemed very pleasant, we have often heard them arguing and shouting literally all hours of the day.

We have had to call the police on a couple of occasions as the woman called out ‘someone call the police’ other people in the street have done the same too as we’ve had the police knock on our door asking if we’ve called as it’s been done anonymously.

A week or so a go she stopped me as I was getting my kids out the car and basically said we’d never introduced ourselves or properly met before. She did apologise for the noise over the years and said her son (3 years old) has issues and she herself is bipolar and suffers badly with ptsd. She started telling me how her mom had died a few years a go and I felt really awful for her, so much so I gave her a hug.

She asked if I had Facebook and I told her my name so she could add me. She started messaging me and it seemed harmless. I told her it was my son’s birthday and she asked if it was ok if she got a card, I thought well of course it’s ok. Then she knocked on the door with a huge playdoh set for my other son and gave me the card. I was a bit shocked but was grateful. Then his birthday I find she’s put £20 in his card and again, shocked but grateful.

I told her I was feeling a bit rundown (I’m 6 weeks pregnant) and by this point we’d been messaging back and fourth for maybe a week or less. Whilst I was upstairs she knocked on the door and my partner answered. She had made a huge hamper full of stuff for me! I’m talking it was filled with stuff. Now I’m aware it’s sweet but I found it really intense.

I planned to have her come round for a cup of tea next week but have had to come
clean to her that I’m pregnant because my morning sickness is so bad I’m hardly able to get out of bed and wanted her to be aware that I may have to cancel.

She went from being overly nice to very blunt one worded answers as though she’s maybe annoyed at me? Didn’t congratulate me, stopped adding x’s to the end of her messages etc.

Now I’m aware I am maybe over reacting but want to know what other people would do in this situation? I am now thinking what have I done wrong? If anything? I’m feeling really weird about it all.

OP posts:
Pootles34 · 20/01/2024 16:59

I would suspect it's her bipolar to be honest. Don't take it personally, just let her come back to you in her own time if she does.

regenerate · 20/01/2024 17:01

what would i “do”

bugger all except distancing myself

although throwing in We have had to call the police on a couple of occasions almost as an aside is weird. It’s a big deal to call the police a few times about your neighbours!!

L00k4m3x · 20/01/2024 17:06

@regenerate They’ve calmed down a lot over the last year but when we first moved in we heard the woman screaming and shouting all hours of the day. At the same time their young child used to just be crying and crying it was horrible to hear. My partner works for the police so wouldn’t forgive himself if domestic violence was at play. I just wanted to paint the sort of relationship we’ve had with them really before her suddenly becoming very over friendly with me.

OP posts:
IHS · 20/01/2024 17:06

It could be her bipolar or it could have been a way of making you feel obligated towards her by giving you lots of stuff and attention. It all sounds a bit manipulative tbh. Don't feel emotionally blackmailed into being her friend as you may end up getting involved in drama and you have enough on your plate with being pregnant and just life in general. Play it cool until you've identified whether she's actually genuine.

charabang · 20/01/2024 17:26

I'd be pleased and not encourage her further. She sounds unstable.

regenerate · 20/01/2024 17:33

L00k4m3x · 20/01/2024 17:06

@regenerate They’ve calmed down a lot over the last year but when we first moved in we heard the woman screaming and shouting all hours of the day. At the same time their young child used to just be crying and crying it was horrible to hear. My partner works for the police so wouldn’t forgive himself if domestic violence was at play. I just wanted to paint the sort of relationship we’ve had with them really before her suddenly becoming very over friendly with me.

since becoming friends… this period has never been discussed? when you heard her screaming to call the police?

bombastix · 20/01/2024 17:35

Bipolar and no you don't need this unless you enjoy a ride on the drama llama

L00k4m3x · 20/01/2024 17:52

@regenerate It was kind of mentioned when she stopped me outside my house. I told her it was only ever done from a place of concern and that’s when she told me all this stuff that she suffers from which she essentially said was the reason for the shouting over the years.

OP posts:
flexigirl · 20/01/2024 19:37

It's like she was lovebombing you and now you aren't fitting whatever agenda she has, she's annoyed with you . This will get too complicated as dealing with someone who blows hot and cold is a mental overload . Distance yourself OP. This is the sort of thing I read on here all the time about new partners giving gifts , being overly generous etc to get you on 'the hook' be very wary

Nagado · 20/01/2024 21:55

Keep your distance. Smile and say hello if you see her, but don’t stop to chat and don’t invite her for tea or exchange any more messages. She’s lovebombed her way into an artificially close friendship with you and within two weeks she’s already got you wondering what you did to upset her.

This has got drama, chaos, upset and moving house to escape awful neighbors written all over it. You’re about to have another child; you do not need this in your life.

PrawnDumplings · 21/01/2024 07:14

Nagado · 20/01/2024 21:55

Keep your distance. Smile and say hello if you see her, but don’t stop to chat and don’t invite her for tea or exchange any more messages. She’s lovebombed her way into an artificially close friendship with you and within two weeks she’s already got you wondering what you did to upset her.

This has got drama, chaos, upset and moving house to escape awful neighbors written all over it. You’re about to have another child; you do not need this in your life.

This.

Urcheon · 21/01/2024 07:23

Ascribe it to poorly-managed bipolar disorder, and keep a civil distance. Fall outs with neighbours can be awful.

TrashedSofa · 21/01/2024 08:31

Yeah I'd just be civil. Let on and say hello, don't encourage any further.

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