Tips for improving executive function

[MrsBennetsPoorNerves]

I have adhd, currently unmedicated (long story). I am also menopausal and I think it's making my symptoms worse.

I am really, really struggling with executive function - at home, at work, even with basic things like washing my hair or replying to texts from friends. My house is a mess. I'm way behind on my workload and plagued by guilt. I just can't get anything done. Starting tasks is the hardest thing, but staying focused is also a challenge. And transitioning from one thing to another is also very difficult.

What lifestyle changes can I make that might help? I'm trying to eat more healthily and trying to get more sleep, though I find the transition involved in getting myself to bed extremely difficult and I'm chronically sleep deprived - I stay up far too late for no good reason at all. I know this isn't helping but I don't know how to change my behaviour. I set reminders on my phone etc but just ignore them when they pop up. I'm guessing that exercise would probably help but getting myself to actually do that is not straightforward. I feel like I have lost control of my life completely and I don't know how to get it back.

I will go back on the medication eventually but won't be able to for a while. Please help... what can I do to start getting on top of things again. Are there any simple, easy changes that I could make?

Anyone? Please???

Do you know about body doubling? I find that helpful

No, don't know what that is. Thanks for the suggestion, I will Google it.

Ah, interesting. Never heard of body doubling but I do already try to use this strategy in various ways. E.g. by using focus mate or by asking my (adult) dd to help me stay on track. Maybe I need to make more use of that strategy. My DH would willingly help but I always feel slightly judged by him so I avoid asking...I don't think he is actually judging, it's more my perception because I'm so ashamed of my inability to get myself moving.

Are you me? I could have written this. But I'm bogged down avoiding doing chores and got distracted
Arrrrgghhhhj help

I don't think so, @KeeeeeepDancing.

Sorry that you're having the same problem. What chores are you currently avoiding?

I have ADHD and can't take medication due to high blood pressure. I think the first thing to do is only to get tips and suggestions from people who have (or are experienced with) ADHD, because the neurotypical way if doing things just doesn't work,no matter how much effort you put it.

The second thing is to accept that because you crave novelty, you are going to switch things up.vecause app methods will lose effectiveness after a while.

But there are things that really help me, and I'm going to put them in a separate post so that you do not ignore this one being long and boring.

Firstly, if you get stuck in ADHD paralysis, train the other people in your household how to snap you out of it. My family know to ask if I'm stuck and if I say yes, tell mein a king but authoritative voice, to stand up. If I am already standing, they tell me to walk into the next room and back. This is enough to kick-start my ability to have full control over my movements again.

Secondly, it's harder to go to bed when you are tired. Your executive dysfunction will be worse. So go to bed before you are tired. This might be ridiculously early. Plan your day so that the last few things you want to can be done in bed, then, when you start getting tired and want to sleep, you HAVE ALREADY TAKEN all the steps you need to do it.

Wow interesting, thanks for the tips

ADHD here too.

Songs, I put a song on and bet myself if I can finish XYZ before it finishes. Even if I can't, dishwasher filling for eg, I will still complete the task.

To get out of bed and dressed I order a delivery. I try to preempt weekends with the shopping. If not, then a deliveroo does the trick.

Make things as easy as possible.

I got a cleaner. She used to come fortnightly, I've now asked her to come weekly because it helps keep me on task with tidying. I'm lucky that she isn't expensive, but the way I looked at it, it was two takeaways or Ubers a week and I wouldn't think twice on spending on that.

I've deleted most social media, I only have M/N now so find I'm bored and therefore use the time more wisely (mostly haha) I'm also reading more.

YES to body doubling.

But more than all that, rest and give yourself a break. You can't do everything all the time. Make priorities and stick with those. Look after yourself, do not run yourself into the ground trying to do everything, you will end up worse off.

Thank you @UnimaginableWindBird . The thing about craving novelty makes a lot of sense. I will try to think about how I can use that to help me.

The tip about getting ready for bed really early also makes a lot of sense. So true that executive function is worse when tired, and I just keep making it worse.

Thank you @egowise, also some really useful tips there. Especially re scheduling the deliveries and finding money for a cleaner.

A high strength multi vitamin and separate Vitamin D supplement has worked wonders for me, also I noticed when I gave up caffeine my executive functioning was seriously impaired. I started drinking tea again and one coffee a day and saw a massive improvement almost instantly...just a few easy ideas to incorporate without any work as such (adhd me loves lazy hacks😅).

I have ADHD too and found 'The Mini ADHD Coach' book by Alice Gendron very useful. I think she's online too, though I've only used the book. Some of the tips mentioned by PP are included but there are others too and she also runs through the challenges people with ADHD have throughout the day. It's attractively produced too and easy to dip in and out of.

Some useful tips here.

This might sound silly but with task paralysis one thing I sometimes try to do is if I finally force myself to move to go do something quick I try to do something else as well. So if I have to move to answer the door or whatever I tell myself I can’t go back to whatever I was hyperfocusing on until I’ve done something else as well.

It might just be a quick thing e.g. if I stop to go to the loo I might water the plants in the bathroom too. And once I’ve done that I can go back to doomscrolling or whatever. But often it turns into e.g. watering the plants, throwing some bleach down the loo and gathering up the dirty towels to take to the washing machine.

Noting so I came Bach for tips

Limiting phone use for a start.
Using it to set timings. But no social media. Including Mumsnet!

Look up Goblin Tools (use the free one)

added to watch list as you have described me..😆

The think that works really well for me for that paralysis where you sit down and just can't get up again is that I have trained my household members to ask if I am stuck and if I say yes, to tell my, in a kind but authoritative voice to stand up. Once I've done that, I can generally control myself again. If I'm already standing up, walking into another room will generally do the trick.

I can't do it to myself, though. It has to be a command from someone else.