Will my life be like this forever? DD mental health....

[DistressSignal]

Sorry if this is long. I've left work an hour early after breaking down into excruciatingly embarrassing tears. I've been trying to prop up my DD 22 and feel like I'm failing, I've got my white surrender flag waving. DD been having issues since she was 12 or 13, was under CAMHS until she was 16, diagnosed with autism at 16 then became too old for their service and no input from anyone since. After that she's been in and out of living at home, hardly worked, drinking problem you name it.

Things came to a head in November (AGAIN), but this time she got referred to the MH team and was looked after by the crisis team. They've diagnosed her as Bipolar, she's been started on meds but as of yet waiting to be picked up by the MH team. I feel like she's in a permanent state of crisis and I'm starting to struggle to cope. Kudos to her she's been on my sofa since the middle of November, she's managing just to hold down a full time job for the first time ever, has hardly been drinking a thing for the first time in years and is meant to be moving into a flat on Monday but I'm not sure she's ready for it. She's stressed to the eyeballs again which usually ends up in an A&E visit.... This seems to be a thing every few weeks... Will it ever get better??

No advice, but god it sounds hard. I feel for you, I hope it gets better and soon. You need help from someone but I don’t know where. I just didn’t want to leave your post unanswered. Big huge hugs.x

Thank you. I just feel like trying to help her has eaten up a decade of my life now and it's still such a struggle

It sounds so so tough. But it does sound like she is making small positive steps. Fingers crossed. In years to come she will value you standing by her in her hardest times. Take care of yourself, too.

Can you scrap her moving into the flat - for now at least. I think that might tip her over the edge if she is already barely coping.
The important thing is that she holds onto the job (well that would be my priority) and I'd be doing everything possible to facilitate that - and I tihnk that probably means that she needs to stay with you for now.
If she's only recently started on meds then it might take a while for her to become more stable, once she's more stable then she can start to think about moving out.
Remember this has eaten up a decade of your life but now she has diagnoses and a full time job is barely drinking and is on meds - so things have really moved forward.
If she is desperate to move to the flat (or you are desperate for her to to keep your MH together) then perhaps it could be a gradual thing - she stays there just one night a week for a few weeks, builds up to 2 and so on. A slow, gradual transition might be really help - but if you think even that is likely to be too much then I just wouldn't risk it.

It’s extremely difficult for the young people who suffer and those who care for them. It becomes all consuming and very isolating too. Keep talking to whoever you have who will listen, my friends have been so supportive when I’ve needed to vent, I’ve also phoned MH crisis line when I’ve felt unable to give any more. I do feel so sorry for you, and do know how it feels. The small steps of progress and quieter times give you chance to recharge a little for the next crisis, and hopefully the stable periods will become slightly longer. It’s good she has a diagnosis, as that opens up more options for treatment and support even if you have to fight for it. Do you have a partner to help support you both? You aren’t failing, you’re being a good mum by continuing to support her.