I can't stop losing my mind at the smallest thing

[HotCrossBummed]

The tiniest thing. I will explode in anger or tears. It's affecting every area of my life. And I'm not sure how to fix it. I just can't be calm, im constantly on the edge. A few years ago I was quite zen. Any tips on how to handle this and stop myself going from 0-100 in the space of 3 seconds 😢 is anybody else like this?

Good luck with it. I had a bit of tsunami of crap at about your age and got some counselling through work which made me realise I had to look after myself too. And HRT helped.

Lots of relevant information on this thread too: You want HRT? Not so fast! You want the pill? Here you go! www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/4853868-you-want-hrt-not-so-fast-you-want-the-pill-here-you-go

Not sure how to fix the burnout bit. I need a break but no chance of it at mo. Really? If you have intense caring responsibilities or your own business in crisis then maybe, but other than that everyone can find some things they can cancel or dial back.

Sorry but your gp is wrong. From age 45yrs perimenopause symptoms are so likely that blood tests aren’t even needed for an hrt prescription. And since hormone levels vary and the gp has no idea of your previous baseline, taking random blood tests a few years before age 45 won’t necessarily tell you anything about whether you would benefit from hrt.
Since you are under 45 can you ask/insist on being referred to a menopause specialist?

I have wondered if I could do this? He told me outright he didn't think it was "early menopause". I reiterated I didn't think this but that I had peri menopausal symptoms and he just said the bloods don't indicate anything to support that. I think I will request a different GP and ask for a referral. I'm a weepy angry mess

he just said the bloods don't indicate anything to support that

Did he specify that your blood test must be taken during the luteal phase of your cycle? because that is when you get the most revealing results for peri. If it wasn't within a small window (usually day 19-21) then the results won't be particularly accurate. I know this from seeing an HRT specialist privately

No he was testing them alongside general bloods and the blood was taken on a random date. It was actually just after my period had finished, which is when I feel far less awful

Agree sounds like peri to me too. When I had symptoms GP said that blood tests are not conclusive because it varies so much from day to day. I was put on mini pill to regulate hormones and this worked well.
See another GP

When I was peri I felt I had PMT all the time

Yep, sounds familiar!

Hi @HotCrossBummed
I haven't read the full thread and answers but I was exactly as you describe.
I'm 8 years younger than you & Peri menopausal.
Since August I have been on HRT and tablets to calm my temper down. It was getting out of control, I shouted at a stranger in the street, was arguing with directors at work even when I was wrong and my children and husband were getting it both barrels from me.
I highly encourage you to speak to a Dr and see if they can help. Xx

I can relate to your symptoms. I started imploding in the run up to Christmas, felt I had too much to cope with, the day to day life that usually is in my comfort zone felt overwhelming.

For me, I’ve put it down to bereavement & grief after losing our daughter 4 years ago. Obviously there’s a lot of factors at play. I went to my GP who referred me to maternal mental health unit before Christmas & I’ve already had a referral & home visit to decide on the best way forward in terms of additional support. I was surprised at how quickly it happened & the nurse explained that a lot of funding has been invested into MH where I live.

So while perimenopause might be at play, consider if there are other aspects contributing towards how you feel. Having somebody to talk through our experience & how I feel, just for the one appointment I’ve had, has helped already. Her emphasis being, I have to start looking after myself more. It’s okay to have needs that are put first sometimes.

It’s a pretty awful place to be & I hope you find a kind GP who will really listen & find the help you need.

Oh @KRToo I'm so sorry about your daughter. And I absolutely take your point 💐

Dreadful GP, sorry you feel so bad. Lay off the booze, it will only make things worse, difficult I know. Get second opinion. If all else fails, pay for private consultation with competent doctor. I know expensive but your health is worth it and it's essential. Please do this, you dont have to feel the way you do.

You are definitely not to young. Hrt will probably help. It should be titrated. Not based on bloods at your age. Go back to dr. Tell them you want to try.

Complain to practice manager about being dismissed by GP.

You can track your symptoms with the balance app
From Louise newson...

https://apps.apple.com/gb/app/balance-menopause-support/id1503345959

Then present list to gp & demand to rry hrt.

You can also owt your go know that all health professionals qualify for free training from the menopause society and that since 51% of their patients will go through menopause this is advisable.

https://www.nhmenopausesociety.org/wp-content/uploads/2022/06/Course-Flyer-1.pdf

I told mine this & she's done it.

@HotCrossBummedhttps://dailystoic.com/

I went private to get HRT after being given the runaround and ending up in an endocrinology clinic 🤷‍♀️. Its definitely made a big difference to me and just to pick up on some other comments, I have no caring responsibilities, a good relationship, no money worries, a job which is not particularly stressful - my lifestyle had nothing to do with it. Anti depressants, vitamins, CBT etc might all help but cannot replace lost hormones. I’ve now transferred back to the NHS.

I'm the same op. had a meltdown in the shower this morning because the water was running cold for ten minutes solid. Even more irrate when dh tried to insinuate that there's nothing wrong with the shower and it's something I was doing wrong. felt so embarrassed afterwards as ds's gf was in the house and must have heard me ranting.

I know you say you can't take time out for yourself and too busy but in my experience your body will take matters into its own hands and make you physically sick. How is your health? Cold, flu catching stuff. Your immune system and CNS will be firing non stop and you really for everyone around you and your long term health need to sit down with family and talk and see what can be done.

Adding in HRT, drugs and massive lifestyle changes may work, I would also echo the fact you could be peri and your GP sounds shit.

But having had a breakdown at 43 - I was too busy to take a break, running a business, kids, busy social life having fun then wham.

One day driving home I literally started shaking, crying, sobbing, went to bed and had to be very well looked after mentally, I was a mess for 2 months, didn't leave my room, barely ate and recovery has been slow but great.

It was burnout, my body, kidneys, bladder, periods, headaches shakes, temperature regulation just all gave up on me.

I had been working 12-15 hour days in my industry, rushing about.. being all "I've got this" but my brain and body simply couldn't keep up.

Please take some time, be kind to yourself I wouldn't wish what I had on anyone.

I was peri at 45 and my doctor thought that was on the young side. He was actually very understanding, but speaking to the female GP was just a totally different experience because it wasn't academic for her and she was really interested in it.

Sounds like perimenopause to me and 43 is a really normal age for it to start!! Why did your GP say it wasn't?
Go back and ask to speak about it again with a different GP.

I was told bloods was not helpful as your hormones are up and down during month. You could have had a test when they were up.... And then when they are down is when you feel awful.

Because he said my bloods didn't indicate anything, even though the impact on my life is so significant. He even suggested maybe it was some kind of chronic fatigue, which I don't believe causes intense rage and crying and anxiety but oh well.

As before, it's been so helpful for me to hear that this sounds familiar to so many of you. And that it might not just be me being a shitty person!

I would ask to be referred to a menopause specialist. Lots of GP's are utterly clueless about peri/menopause. Or pay for one of you can afford it.

These were my first symptoms and they were gone within 2 weeks of starting HRT. My biggest regret is waiting 6 years to go on it.

Listen to Movinghouse OP. Insist on a referral to someone who knows what they're doing. Pay if you have to. The first GP, male, I saw snarked 'dear me, if we all went to the doctors when we felt a bit tired . . .'. "Sorry, I understood I was here to see a doctor. I've obviously made a mistake. I'll come back when there's one here in the surgery". I was as furious as only a menopausal woman can be, he followed me out as I flounced, asking me to come back.- I'm still cross all these years later. Saw a middle aged woman GP a couple of days later who prescribed me progesterone? I felt the difference within an hour of first taking it. Cost savings everywhere OP. See someone else. Good luck.