I feel sick. Near miss with my child

[Igglepiggleandhisboat]

Walking DC home from school. DS (7) walking around ten steps ahead of me on the pavement. Car speeds down the road and swings into his driveway, across the pavement. I screamed DS name and he stopped and the van narrowly missed him. I am still shaking. I feel so sick. He does this every day (too cool to be seen with mum at the moment) and I always keep an eye but the van didn’t indicate and it happened so fast.
The driver shouted at me that I’m a bad mum for letting DS walk ahead of me which has added to my guilt 😢

Sounds like the van driver felt guilty and shouted at you deflect blame from himself!

The van driver was in the wrong and an arsehole.

He's a shit driver for driving on the pavement without checking there was a pedestrian on it! You are not a shit mum for letting him walk ahead, on a pavement, where he is meant to be!

The van was crossing the pavement - of course he should have been looking. He is completely in the wrong. I would have torn strips off him.

It’s the driver’s responsibility to check for pedestrians/pavement is clear.
Sounds like they knew they’d fucked up and blaming you for their error.

What. A. Twat.

i mean, i get he was probably shaken, the realisation you nearly hurt a child can come out as defensive anger rather than true contrition. but fuck all that. He whizzed across a pedestrian pavement and didn’t look where he was going. He was a twat and you’re fully entitled to be mad with him. I’m sorry this happened to you.

The van driver was in the wrong and I would be inclined to report him given he hasn’t acknowledged that and shown any remorse. Pedestrians have ROW on a pavement, pretty basic.

Dd walked out in front of a moving bus once. I thought it was a one way road but it wasn’t.

i still don’t know how it stopped. She just carried on skipping in front of it to the pavement. It still makes feel funny when I think about it.

The onus is upon the driver to ensure its clear to manoeuvre.
He's a twat and you should have told him so

I did tell (shout) at the driver. All he did is stand there and laugh at me and say what a bad parent I am and I should have been “looking after my child”. I feel so sick.

You should have shouted back.

He was in the wrong big time. Pavements are for pedestrians- crossing one to reach a driveway requires the driver to be careful. And wait.

You should report him for dangerous driving, that's absolutely outrageous. How dare he try to blame you! Regardless if it was a child alone or with someone, or even if it was an adult, he has a duty to drive with care. It's irrelevant that he was pulling into a driveway, he was crossing a PAVEMENT and should have gone slowly and carefully, giving way to your son.

I'm outraged on your behalf OP, hope you're ok x

Given his response I really think you ought to report him.

Fucking hell this was neither your fault nor your child's. What a wanker.

I'd report to the police. He's a knob.

Oh well if you did shout back and got that response then report him.Car Reg and address.

If you live on a road that has school children using it regularly you have to pay attention when you pull on or off your drive. I'm so careful. He was in the wrong but also probably scared witless hence the lashing out. OK just read your update he's just a knob, report. Glad your ds is ok.

It's not really relevant whether you were alongside your child or 10 paces ahead.

No driver should pull in that closely to a pedestrian.

How frightening for both of you. As others have said, the driver was shouting at you because he knew he was in the wrong. Awful man.

Thank goodness your son is ok. If it’s playing on your mind over and over, try to do something to distract yourself from those thoughts. This horrid feeling will pass. You did nothing wrong and your son is safe- all is well.

Oh god how scary but focus on the fact that your son is safe. He stopped when you told him to. That's brilliant parenting. Repeat that to yourself as opposed to ruminating on what could have happened. I know it's not easy after such a fright... You did nothing wrong, neither did your son. Car arsehole was an arsehole.

Gosh, you’re not at fault in any way!!! Your DC is 7 years not 17 months!

Hes not a toddler, walking a little ahead is fine. However the driver would have been at fault and convicted if he had run your child over whilst driving across a pedestrian pavement. You could always buy him a bright fluorescent orange coat and reflective strips or torch to help visibility.

10 steps ahead is barely a distance, he's a nobber.

Hmmm so you know where he lives? And where his precious van is overnight? Hmmmm. Pass the balaclava

In just a couple of years he will be walking to and from school alone. He needs to practice and being ten steps ahead of you is absolutely fine. It will also have helped him to develop his road awareness. I would add in a reflective vest if he doesn't already wear one. The driver was a twat and should be reported.