A mystery ...

[shiningcuckoo]

I have a family mystery and wonder if anyone has any theories (or mysteries of their own).
In the very early 90s I spent a summer working in Canada. Whilst I was there I made contact with my dads uncle and his wife - they had emigrated to Canada before I was born but my dad had always been very close to his uncle (who was not much older than him). I spent a fair bit of time with my great uncle and aunt. They had two sons , both about 10 years older than me. The sons each had a daughter - one was 9 or 10 and the other was a preschooler. I'll call the girls Juno and Alice. I spent time with these girls too , especially Alice the little one. After I left Canada I stayed in touch with my great aunt and uncle. Sadly their older son, father of Juno, died very suddenly and their younger son moved to Central America with a new wife and had another child. My great aunt and uncle are really elderly now and have outlived my own parents and my aunts and uncles. There was a little bit of a health scare a couple of years ago and Juno made contact with me at my great aunt's request , so that she could keep me posted on how the old folk are doing. Apparently they still mention me from time to time and I send them Christmas cards and the occasional present.
So a couple of years ago in a chatty email, I asked my great aunt how her younger son was doing. She gave me an update on his new life. I also asked after Alice and she said that she didn't know who I was talking about. I have since asked Juno about her cousin Alice, who is also saying she doesn't know who I mean. Wtf? I remember Alice very clearly and might even have a blurred photo of her somewhere. I met her quite a few times.

Z

So their younger son was the father of Alice but he moved to Central America with a NEW wife and had another child? Is this right? Could it be that Alice stayed with her mum (his previous wife) and that they don’t have anything to do with them? To the point that they don’t admit she exists?

🤣🤣🤣

Alice is trans and now known by another name ?

Was she a foster child who wasn't with them for very long?

Presumably Alice stayed with her mum. But if she was only a preschooler she's unlikely to remember you. Juno probably doesn't remember as she was quite young and didn't see her in older life to reinforce those memories. You could contact Alice's dad and ask him?
The other option is you misunderstood the relationship and Alice was either a step child or perhaps a niece (on ex wife's side) or a friends child. And she was literally only there while you were so not a significant part of their lives.
Or there used to be a little girl called Alice but she died a long time ago. 👻

I worked as a nanny years ago to a lovely family. One day when chatting about extended family I mentioned my maiden name. We discovered that the mum of the family was the daughter of my aunt! Apparently my aunt had three children (before she met my uncle) we knew one of her children and had done for twenty plus years but my employer and her brother were estranged from the family so although I'd known my aunt most of my life I had no idea about these two children.

Could she have been a neighbours child, who came over to play a lot?

Just ask your great aunt and Juno who it is on the photo? I suspect she was a step child.

Am I reading it right, a 9 year old doesn't remember a young child who moved 1000s of miles away many years ago?

That doesn't seem unusual if Alice wasn't mentioned once she's moved

Except the great aunt doesn't remember either.

The great aunt could be being economical with the truth instead of mentioning something which has a lot of emotion attached to it or which they are ashamed/embarrassed about.

Is there a Canadian equivalent of the birth register? In the UK you can search the general register office (GRO) site or www.freebmd.org.uk/ and find the ref for the certificate, then pay £2.50 to see full details. If such a thing exists you could search to see if there was an ‘Alice’ with the right surname born roughly the right time.

I’d also suggest scanning the photo of Alice and sending it to your great aunt and Juno!

Exactly! And this is her granddaughter.
But it's not just about remembering... surely she'd have been talked about, and been in family get-togethers at Christmas etc. even if her parents were divorced?
As an adult she may have done something to make the family want to disown her, but why disown a child?

When I met Alice all those years ago, her parents were not together. I remember going with her father, my great aunt's son, to take her to the park. She looked very like her father - unusual colouring. I can also remember my great aunt saying she was 'just like her father' at the same age. I'm not sure if I have a photo - it might be in my imagination.