Dd (6) accused of stealing in the playground, I dealt with it badly

[Nocakeinthishouse]

Dd came out of school wearing the earmuffs she went in in this morning. Another (older-Y6) girl said to her mum “dd is wearing my earmuffs. They were on the radiator and she took them”. I asked dd where she had got the earmuffs and she said “the radiator, where I put them after lunch because they were wet”. It turns out both girls had identical earmuffs and one pair had gone awol in the changing rooms. I went into the changing rooms to see if I could find the other pair but they didn’t show up. I let dd keep the earmuffs on because as far as I’m aware they are the ones she went in in this morning. Did I do the wrong thing?

I don't think you did anything wrong? Assuming none of them had names on and they are an identical pair how does the other girl know those ones are definitely hers? Moral of the story put names on everything.

It's tricky but all could have been avoided with a name tag.. name EVERYTHING! but no i would have done the same in the circumstances

I’m going to name them tonight but I feel a bit like they are tainted stolen property now. Silly I know!! Thank you both for saying I haven’t done anything wrong, I feel really bad!

Do you think they look like your dd's? Such as wear & tear, labels etc. Whilst lots of clothes can be identical I've always recognised "our" stuff.

How expensive were they?

Can’t you tell from the smell of things if they’re DDs? Or am I weird?

They did look exactly like DD’s-slightly scuffed up after being dropped in the snow this morning (she’s only worn them twice before so otherwise like new). They were cheap ones-I threw them in the trolley at the supermarket doing a food shop.

@Namechange303333311 I totally can when it is clothing-our stuff doesn’t smell of anything to me, whereas everyone else’s clothing has some form of scent. Earmuffs however, I have no idea!

That would be the first thing I’d do smell them haha

I think you did exactly right. If you'd said that you didn't think they were hers but took them anyway, then that would have been wrong.

label everything you ever want to see again - even socks 😀

This how we identify stuff too
Dd sniffs and knows which friend it belongs to

Well, your daughter said she put them on the radiator and then took them off the same radiator. Does she have form for lying? Because otherwise, it sounds like they’re hers. What did the other mum say?

No you did right thing. I do think however your title is a bit dramatic! No one accused your DD of theft! Another kid said you have my stuff, your kid says no they are mine, end of incident. These things happen all the time, kids know and accept this even at 6.

I can't believe your daughter has been at school over 2 years and you don't label absolutely everything?

I would expect those earmuffs to disappear tomorrow….

Put visible AND hidden sewn on name tags on everything. Not only do things get lost, they do get stolen too. PE kit, coats and blazers are all fair game IME.

You could be a good sport and, as it is pretty much impossible to prove whose earmugs they are, offer to go halves in buying the other girl another set.