Page 7 | What’s a weird thing your In-Laws do?

HillyHoney · 16/01/2024 15:01

@istoodonlegoagain that is BANANAS!

My ILs are delightful but consistently pronounce café as cayfe, and would rather die than go downstairs in their pyjamas. In 25 years of holidaying with them/staying over, I've never seen either of them in their PJs. They would also not under any circumstances entertain any kind of hosting that didn't also include a lengthy walk. Elderly people coming to visit? We'll go on a complicated, slightly difficult to access, muddy walk up hill and down dale. Parents with small children? Same. Teenagers? Get them out.

Aquamarine1029 · 16/01/2024 15:02

istoodonlegoagain · 16/01/2024 14:44

Thought of two more, which I'm so used that I'd forgotten aren't really normal. All of my ILs are very open about their bowel habits. A bowel movement is known as "entering the toilet". So we'll be sitting there eating dinner and one of them will say they need to go to the toilet. Fine. Will come back and say "I just entered the toilet" and everyone will look on in expectant. anticipation. Details will be given, such as whether it was hard/loose, to what extent there was straining, stool length (!) and then they will say they now need to rest/lie down. This will prompt someone else to say "last week when I entered the toilet....". The most bizarre time was when BIL recalled in front of extended family the time his soon ate sunflower seeds, which had caused a "backlog" and BIL had to use a cotton bud to 'pick' away at the poo until it was ready to move. The son was a teen at the time, and if I had a pound for every time I'd heard this story I would be rich!

MIL and SILs are obsessive about organizing things,you can't just sit and watch a TV programme, your hands have to be busy. MIL could produce a massive bag stuffed with plastic bags and everyone would sit around and flatten and fold each one and organize them into piles according to size, colour, thickness etc. No clothing can ever go in the recycling, everything is cut up, zips/buttons taken off and the fabric cut up into cloths for spills or cleaning. DH always critisize me for not having a "cloths drawer" that I've cut up of his old holey vests.

My family are very odd regarding formalities. I wouldn't be able to call into my DMs house if I was going past without a prior appointment. They wouldn't dream of coming over without a formal invitation, and 48 hours before I'll get a "I just want to confirm that Sunday 6pm for a cup of tea is still on?". On the day I'll get a text to confirm they've left their house and we should expect them soon. I feel much more relaxed with dh's family!

😱

I can't believe you married into that 🤣

Littlecatonthefence · 16/01/2024 15:02

They used to order a large Chinese for us all when we came for diner then proceed to empty it into bowls for serving, whereby we would then spoon it out the bowls onto our plates.

Seemed like absolute madness to me as it meant there was double the amount of dishes required and such a faff.

Sometimes i wanted to scream JUST GIVE ME MY CONTAINER....thankfully they dont do this now, i think they have gotten older and cant be arsed 😂 but it suits me perfectly.

FlimFlambros · 16/01/2024 15:02

My IL are wonderful people, however...

Tea/coffee breaks are only at certain times 11am and 3pm usually. You are allowed a hot drink at breakfast, outside of this it's not encouraged at all.
Tea/coffee mugs must be the size of a thimble, 2 mouthfuls at most. Attempts to gift bigger mugs are futile (they get donated)
Portion sizes are minimal, it's normal to be served 2 regular sized frozen pizzas between 8 (with no other sides or salad)
The bin system must be followed at all times, but you are not allowed to know or understand the bin system.. (I just leave the recycling on the side now).
Pudding is only yogurt (plain) or fruit. You are only allowed special pudding at Xmas.

They are truly wonderful people though.. my DH thinks my family is utterly nuts and he'd be right.

At my DPs

There must be a cup of tea on the go at all times. You do not refuse tea, you accept every time. You can choose your cup size.
You must eat at least one meal whilst visiting, you cannot say you are not hungry
The TV is on at all times. DF is the only one who can change the TV, reruns of The Bill, The Sweeney and Only Fools and Horses are acceptable viewing.
The big light must not be put on EVER, only small side lights which have energy saving light bulbs in can be used.
All doors must be shut at all times. We are not heating the sky.
If you buy them something and they owe you money, it will never come via bank transfer, the only way is cash.
If you can get the bus somewhere, you should.

It's all normal to me..🤣

.

ohdamnitjanet · 16/01/2024 15:02

babyproblems · 16/01/2024 14:10

My MIL constantly tells people they look tired, in a passive aggressive way. Sort of ‘Hello darling how are you? You do look tired. Did you have a busy week?’ That sort of very rude bullshit said through a smile. She does it to lots of people and I just think Wow you’re so badly brought up & so rude! every time.

Joanna Lumley in Motherland 😆

ohdamnitjanet · 16/01/2024 15:03

Pavane · 16/01/2024 13:50

My ILs have been retired for 17 years from early-rising jobs (bin man and cleaner), but they still have dinner at 4 pm in the afternoon, as though they were going to bed at 8 to get up at 5 am. They will absolutely not change the 4 pm dinner time for anything and even though, if we eat out with them, we book the earliest of early bird dinner slots, they huff and puff about eating at the ridiculously late hour of 6pm, as though it's midnight on a school night.

Their sole bathroom is downstairs, just inside the front door and opposite the door into the sitting room -- and it has a rippled glass door, giving anyone passing, or in the sitting room with the door open, a fine, only slightly rippled, view of anyone on the loo.

They've redecorated many times since I've been with DH, and even replaced the door, but with another rippled glass door. MIL says the hall would be too dark otherwise. She doesn't appear to realise that people go to endless lengths not to go to the loo in their house, because it's really not conducive to a peaceful wee. One of my SILs once arrived and admired the other SIL's new haircut through the glass.😀

The haircut admiration is the best thing I’ve read today 😆

Cantfindausernameforgodssake · 16/01/2024 15:05

We don't have a kitchen bin, 1 because the dogs would eat it and it's contents which would cause d&v and 2 having rotting stuff sitting around for days is disgusting. We just take our rubbish straight out to the bins outside

Edited to say I was replying to a post on page 1, new to mn didn't realise how to quote!

turkeyboots · 16/01/2024 15:06

I find my inlaws to be so ordinary that it's become werid. Lovely, totally non objectionable MiL is so weird by her normality.
Which probably says more about my family than her

Arabels · 16/01/2024 15:08

Royalsingingseal · 16/01/2024 12:29

Have tea breaks at set times at home. 10am and 3pm on the dot everything stops. Kettles on and whole packets of biscuits consumed.

I love this. So civilised!

WhimsicalMoth · 16/01/2024 15:11

Exist

PrincessCharlette · 16/01/2024 15:11

My MIL is qualified to fly a Learjet. Not sure if that counts.

maudelovesharold · 16/01/2024 15:12

Sometimes she rips the top half of the page of the newspaper away when she's read it, and will then carry on reading the bottom half of the page.

CrapGoat · 16/01/2024 15:12

FlibbedyFlobbedyFloo · 16/01/2024 15:00

Mine have this weird thing where only the men pour wine/alcohol. So my SIL will say to my husband "could you please pour me some wine", even if she's closer to the bottle than he is. He doesn't know where it stems from

I'm a lesbian, but my DP always pours my wine. If we're out in a pub or restaurant and I'm having one of those mini bottles of wine/prosecco she'll keep an eye on my glass and top it up. If we've got friends round, or if female friends are out with us and we're sharing a bottle of wine, she pours theirs too.

I don't know why, but I quite like it.

allfurcoatnoknickers · 16/01/2024 15:13

My in-laws are just dysfunctional. FIL is on his third wife and has 7 kids so there's a lot to unpack there. My ex-step-MIL got the house in the (messy) divorce but refuses to take care of it. The kitchen tap hasn't worked properly in 3 years, there are holes in the ceiling and there are 3 bathrooms, none of which work properly. BIL tried to get a plumber in for her and she refused.

My parents turn the Wi-Fi off when they're not using it. Drives me utterly insane because they don't check if anyone else is using it. I've been cut off in the middle of a skype call, or as I click to pay for an online shop.

Furrydogmum · 16/01/2024 15:15

Live in the same village as us, and both drive, but post our Christmas cards!

yogpot · 16/01/2024 15:15

My MIL hoards, but attempts to do it in our house. And she knows everyone in the village so it’ll be ‘Dan from x road, is getting rid of an antique farmhouse dresser, when can I bring it around?’

It’s not just large items though. She’ll pull out 12 eggs from the back of her car and offer them to you after a walk. God love that woman. Where she gets all this stuff I don’t know. She was over when I was clearing out an old box and wouldn’t let me throw away some random screws, she took them home with her.

My husband actually panicked at his first BBQ with my family because my dad cooks all the food, keeps it warm, and we sit at a table and eat it with knife and fork rather than just standing around eating as and when bits are cooked. I had never questioned this, despite having never seen anyone else do this, but the fear in his eyes as he realised he had to wait was absolutely spectacular. And he’s right, it’s unhinged behaviour.

Hayley0203 · 16/01/2024 15:16

Okay what is going on with the tea break thing? So many posters have said this now, it must have come from somewhere?! A school tradition back in the day maybe?

youlied · 16/01/2024 15:18

My ex IL's used to talk directions! Drove me mad. If you went anywhere there was full blown questions as to how you got there. "You go left here....."
Also you couldn't talk to them without them adding "oooooo" all the time. Sounded like a couple of gormless pigeons!

FlibbedyFlobbedyFloo · 16/01/2024 15:19

We started a coffee at 10am, tea at 4pm thing during lockdown. I think it stemmed from trying to impose a strict work/life balance

Perfectwallpaper · 16/01/2024 15:19

Lemonyyy · 16/01/2024 14:40

They have a really weird concept of ownership, like if they give something to a member of their family they consider it to still sort of belong to the giver, which really pisses me off.

Obsessing over the next few meals, whilst eating a meal. Drives me bonkers fretting about potatoes for tomorrows dinner whilst I'm trying to enjoy my granola.

OMG! I am having this issue with my MIL at the moment. I LOVE the woman, she is a fantastic person but this weird concept of ownership is causing a bit of tension at the moment.

When a family member died she inherited a small sum of money and she treated herself to a new living room. Totally new from the wallpaper to carpet and a whole swathe of furniture. It turned out she went a bit overkill and with the giant footstools, side tables and large lovely squishy sofas there was not enough room to swing a cat.

So she turned up, unasked, with the rather expensive coffee table from the set of matching furniture. We didn't have a table at the time so it was fine by us.

However we have just decorated the living room and will be getting our first ever 'not secondhand or handmedown' sofas and furniture. The DH mentioned this and the MIL realised are not going to need the table going forward. The long and short of it is she doesn't want it back but also said no to us offering to sell it for her, get rid of it because it was very expensive, absolutely not to gift it or freecycle it.

So we have reached this stand off where their will be war if we get rid of something 'of hers' we didn't ask for or want and there will be war if i have to keep something I don't want!

NamingConundrum · 16/01/2024 15:20

CuttingMeOpenthenHealingMeFine · 16/01/2024 12:32

I actually think that’s lovely, I wouldn’t mind that a bit.

My in laws go to every funeral possible, for even the most tenuous of links to someone and they used to pressure DH to attend too - “remember old Jean who lived three streets away and said hello to you onc when you were a baby, her funeral is on Thursday you should be there and I realise CuttingMeOpen has never even met her but she should be there too”

Eh, no. We are not using annual leave to attend the funeral of someone who isn’t related or otherwise close. We have DC school holidays to keep our leave for.

They also become obsessed with restaurants and go on and on and on about how we should go. Like every time we speak to them it’s ‘have you been yet, you need to go’ if we say we have a day off coming up ‘oh well now you have time to go to X’ as if it is our main priority to go to this recommended place. On the odd occasion we have given in to keep them quiet they are almost always rubbish too.

My parents have so many weird and annoying things that I could be here all day writing about them.

Show quote history

My grandparents were in a retirement community. The community had a minibus they used when funerals were on so they could all go. They came to my grandparent's funeral in the bus, bought a picnic with them as apparently there was another later that afternoon so they were making a day of it. Rather odd but that's how they basically had a day out!

biscuitnut · 16/01/2024 15:22

My grandparents did this. It was the front parlour and it was used for ‘occasions’ and visitors. As a child I longed to get on there and gain access to the china cabinet with its treasures. We had to make do with the back room. It’s seems odd now but I think the best room was definitely a thing!

luckylavender · 16/01/2024 15:22

FirstFallopians · 16/01/2024 12:06

I was thinking there about how my BIL maintains that all families are a little bit weird to someone else.

Thought he was being flippant but then I remembered that my in-laws keep their family toothbrushes and toothpaste in a drawer in their bathroom. If you need a bit of floss after Sunday lunch you need to stick your hand into a sticky, damp mass of plastic and bristles.

What slightly weird things do your in-laws do?

Why would you take someone else's floss? That's weird.

JadziaD · 16/01/2024 15:23

Hayley0203 · 16/01/2024 15:16

Okay what is going on with the tea break thing? So many posters have said this now, it must have come from somewhere?! A school tradition back in the day maybe?

Tea breaks at set time was definitely a thing in offices back in the day I think. I worked in quite an old fashioned stock broking firm for a while 25 years ago - the tea lady came round with everyone's tea/coffee preference between 11:00-1130 and again between 1500-1530. She was the only person we got a temp in for when she was on holiday!

Ditto in my dad's office, team time was sacrosanct.

similarly though, it would never have crossed my dad or any of his team's mind to make ac up of tea for themselves at 10:15....

newtb · 16/01/2024 15:24

In my own family titles are rarely used. My mother's sister and maternel aunt just had their James as dis their husbands. My father's sisters were aunt x and their husbands uncle. My mother's paternal aunts were all auntie Maudie, Annie Gertie etc.
Weird.
Xh had 5 nieces when we met, an uncle at 14 ranging from 6 to 12. 2 nephews arrived later. I was never aunt or auntie, just my name, he was uncle. Maybe they were trying to tell me something.
His sister once Saïd that she was dc's only aunt. Her sil didn't count, neither did my aunt, dc's great aunt.
Strange woman, obviously 'marrying in' wasn't a concept she was familiar with.