Who would you give your house keys to?

[takemebacktolastyear]

I've recently moved back in with my parents for a few months with the kids while my husband is abroad for work. We're having the house done (kitchen and bathrooms with bedrooms painted etc and annoyingly couldn't get it done during the summer so I said sod it, let's do it before we decide to scrap the plan and make do.

My dad was brought up by his uncle and gained brothers along the way, I suppose you could say they are my uncles but sometimes it hasn't felt that way. They've always had keys to the house, and I remember arguing with my dad once about it and he said "so what". It annoyed me as I never had a house key growing up and the fact that they did, pissed me off even more. I'm aware it is my mum and dad's house, and they can do whatever they like, but I never had a key! I felt like I had no privacy in the house as they'd randomly walk in, and the worst part is, we don't have keys to their house. I still don't have a key to my own parents house. I got reminded of the whole thing when they walked in last week by using the key.

It just really makes me feel weird.

I'm a bit confused by your post.

You aren't asking who should have keys to your house whilst the work is being done ?

You are now staying with your parents but complaining about the fact your Dad's brother has a key to the house ? <-- That has nothing to do with you

Or you are complaining about the fact you haven't been given a key whilst you live there ? <-- is it causing you an issue? Have you been locked out ? Have you asked ?

Sorry, I'm aware it might seem confusing what I mean here.

Growing up, I never had a house key to the home I lived in, with my parents whilst my uncles had. I had many instances where I was locked out, which was hugely unfair as I saw no need for me not to have one, I asked and never received one. Now whilst I am staying with the kids, I still don't have one and have found it tricky to navigate because my parents aren't always in, and I work so I can't be at home all the time cos I can't get back in. I know I am very lucky to have my parents take me and the kids in whilst things are going on but I think anyone would feel hurt if their child wasn't given a key but their uncle was.

"You are now staying with your parents but complaining about the fact your Dad's brother has a key to the house" @NewName24. I'm not sure I'd agree it's complaining, considering that it's deeply unfair I never had a key to the house growing up and it made me uncomfortable knowing someone could walk in.

What do they say when you ask them for one?

Have you asked for a key? Mum I need a key for coming in and out with the kids.
I can't see how it will work if you don't have a key and it's very odd they never gave you one growing up.

This^

Growing up, I never had a house key to the home I lived in, with my parents whilst my uncles had.
You were a child and I am assuming they were adults so not really comparable. There would have been a big difference in maturity and trust. It would also depend on how you behaved as a child/teenager - always getting into arguments with parents, rebelling against their rules, etc? Or were they always around and assumed you didn't really need one?

Now whilst I am staying with the kids, I still don't have one
What did they say when you asked to use the spare key?

It's odd that whilst you're staying there, you have to knock the door with the kids to be let in, can't come in unless someone else is there. It would make me feel untrusted. Can you really not manage at home whilst they do the work?

As a child, I guess it depends on whether there was always someone home, or whether you were often left on the doorstep until after work hours, had to be in at 9pm at 21 because the door would be locked etc but yes, Def past age 16 I think you should have had your own key.

However, it's their house and their rules. If you don't like it, you're now in a position to do something about it

What @Kwam31 said.

The thing when you were young was odd. Once you were a teen at least they should have given you a key in my opinion.

Whilst you're staying, why not ask? "Mum, while I'm staying with you, is it ok if I have a key for convenience, as you're not always in. I'll pay for the key cutting and will return it when we go back home".

Simples. If they refuse your request then that's definitely a bit weird.