Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Every evening turning into a nightmare

9 replies

Bartlebum · 15/01/2024 21:16

My 7 year old has always been a bad sleeper. At 2 we got her a double bed just so we could get some sleep as we were always in with her. When she was 4 we did her room up and put a lovely single bed in there, she eventually started sleeping in it, although not until she was about 5. We spent so much time a d energy trying to get this girl to start sleeping, I'll never forget it.

She's always been hard work to get down but the last few weeks is another level. She will not go to bed. We just can't get her to go down no matter what we try. All her sleep routines stop working, her night lights, her music, her pillow spray, her yoto with meditation. She up all evening and will not go down until she has tantrumed and screamed the house down and woken up her siblings too, who we then need to spend time getting back to sleep. If we put her in her bed and talk to her gently she just gets straight out when we come downstairs and sits outside. Maybe 10-15 times we try to get her to bed, and then we lose our temper with her. We're just so frustrated. Just when she's finally down we will go to bed, exhausted and angry. Then she starts waking us up early, sometimes 4am, sometimes 5 or 6.

I have recently told her that I won't take her to the cinema or have our family movie nights again until this sleep but she doesn't change. Until now I have always gone about everything softly, with extra cuddles and reassurance but now I am wondering if I was too gentle.

She is in a bad mood all day every day as she's exhausted and has huge bags under her eyes. I feel desperate to sort this out for her health and mine. What are we doing wrong?

OP posts:
merryandbrightdelight · 15/01/2024 21:18

Sorry to hear this op Flowers following as we have a similar situation

Bartlebum · 15/01/2024 21:21

@merryandbrightdelight I'm sorry to hear you are going through this too. I feel like I am failing and not meeting her needs, but it's also a bit of boy that cried wolf, I don't know whether to believe her or not.

OP posts:
SnowflakeSparkles · 15/01/2024 21:23

Not sure if this is at all relevant, but my middle boy has always been trickier than the other 2 DC to get down. We had got into a nice easy and calm bedtime routine though that worked.

we moved into a new place over the summer and my son went through a pretty bad regression due to some related stressors. The thing that works is having him in with us.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Nomorebeer22 · 15/01/2024 21:24

My DD has always been the same. 9 now and recently diagnosed with ADHD. She just does not switch off at night. We have had anywhere between 1am and 3am for the last week and a half. She is absolutely shattered, as are we! On the waiting list to be seen for medication but nothing we can do at the moment as nothing works.

cofffeeeeeeeee · 15/01/2024 21:24

What if you just aim for in bed, being quiet and relaxing? Very clear timetable of going to bed, cold room and hot water bottle, shut the door and absolutely no disturbing the house.

If you've taken the gentle route so far it might be time for some very firm and clear boundaries.

I'd not punish her but I would frame it as getting to earn something.

GG1986 · 15/01/2024 21:52

We have this with my daughter, she has adhd and at night time it's like she gets this random burst of energy. It's exhausting!! She is 7 and some nights she's still awake at 10.30pm, even though we started the bed time routine at 7.30. Have you tried magnesium tablets? And a sleepy body lotion? Child's farm, lush and better you(magnesium cream) do some good ones. We got her a tonies box for Christmas which helps, along with a sensory star pillow and a bed tent. She also has a weighted blanket(as you can see, we will try anything!!) We are lucky that she won't get out of her bed once in it, but she will call us until one of us goes in to her, that can happen a few time before she finally falls asleep. Have you spoken to her about why she won't go to sleep? Does she have anxiety? Is she scared? Does she not like her room?

BigHoops · 15/01/2024 21:54

I sympathize OP. DD8 has always been challenging when it comes to bed. Started when she was a newborn who would not be put down anywhere and we had to take shifts holding her at night! She's got better over the years but recently (coinciding with a new school) things have got tough again. She's crying, wanting us to sit in with her, getting out of bed to come downstairs etc. It's so hard isn't it, especially when you just want a relaxing evening!

What's working for us is encouraging her to read, and regularly popping in to check in with her. Door slightly open. Telling her when we're going to bed (usually early!). It seems to reassure her if she has that. DH is better at sticking to it than me, I'm definitely the soft touch...

Some nights she comes and watches a bit of family friendly telly with us once DS is asleep. Not ideal but she usually gets sleepy half way through and asks to go to bed. I think she has major FOMO tbh!

Good luck. Bedtimes may be my least favourite part of being a parent....

GG1986 · 15/01/2024 21:54

It's nearly 10pm and she still awake now 😳

SingingCats · 15/01/2024 22:13

Weighted blanket

audible stories

go to bed at the same time you put the kids down. Darken the house an hour beforehand. She sounds like she needs reassurance.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page