How do people not feel overwhelmed

[Janie45]

I’m a single mum and I feel overwhelmed pretty much everyday, work, trying to keep house tidy, remembering everything for first and high school, washing…money…the list is endless, please tell me it’s not just me!

It’s not just you.
I have a supportive partner and still regularly feel like I’m sinking. Last week I forgot to pack my son’s equipment for a school activity that he was looking forward to and then my DH forgot to take him to his evening activity! Poor kid.
It is overwhelming. And sometimes it’s just all too much and we forget things.
You can only do your best. X

It's not just you. It's the result of trying to be a full time mother, employee, friend, wife/girlfriend, events planner, chef, taxi driver and housemaid. I feel it too.

I think most people feel completely overwhelmed tbh.

Definitely not just you! I have a partner (not his kids though) and it's still hard! I work FT and then have to remember everything else 🥴

I think it's just the way the world/life is at the moment.
I write billions of lists
I forget multiple things multiple times a day
I juggle whilst spinning plates and wiping arses
I fuck up a lot
I try not to be too hard on myself, when I do.

Thankyou so much for replying everyone, my eldest has just gone to highschool so I feel the practical elements of looking after her have turned into emotional ones which I totally understand but gosh I’m exhausted

That sounds familiar! My DD is far more emotionally 'needy' as a teen. I sympathise.

It got easier for us as we got into the rhythm of secondary school. It's a big adjustment, but the sunny weather isn't too far away!

Not just you. I’m a lone parent to 4 and extremely overwhelmed. Most seem to have supportive partners though so maybe that’s why they aren’t.

Write everything, and I mean everything, down on a family planner or calendar. A lot of the "emotional" stress is simply trying to remember everything and getting stressed and worried about forgetting things. If you write it all down, it immediately reduces the worry and should help you "remember" things.

Then do things off the list as and when you get a spare moment, just to make your "to do" list smaller and give you a feeling of achieving something. I'm thinking of things that are quick and easy to do, like paying a bill, or filling the car with fuel on the school run or shopping trip, or do a bit of ironing or tidying.

Break "big" tasks (like a full clean and tidy of the kitchen) down into smaller chunks - do one bit at a time, one drawer, one cupboard, etc.

You can also adopt a "just do it" approach to things like dealing with "life admin" emails or post that comes, etc - look at it and don't be afraid to delete/shred it if you don't think it's relevant/necessary. That keeps your in-tray or pile of post, smaller and leaner and you know the only things there are things that actually need your attention. If you don't "delete or do" then you end up with ever increasing piles/lists of stuff to do that you'll be less motivated to deal with and will increase stress.

I also feel overwhelmed. Lone working parent with teens. It's really hard.

This is some excellent advice! I’m going to buy a calendar tommrow, and maybe plan days I will do say the washing etc

It's definitely not just you. I have one son, a pretty supportive husband and only work part time and I still feel overwhelmed A LOT.

It's not just you. I've been a single mum for 14 years now, the first few years were tough.

It was constant and I basically gave up any attempt at social life, I worked and I was at home with my ds. My friends were my child minder and my work colleagues. My home was reasonable clean but not spotless.
I sort of shrank my world to one I could cope with.

Now I wfh/hybrid and I have lunchtime tasks. This lunchtime I checked tyre pressures & oil, filled the wash/wipe. I have an on-going list and slot little jobs in while waiting for the kettle to boil or while supper is cooking. I'm always on the move.

My ds is 16. We've coped with everything through LOTS of planning, and a bit of luck. I haven't broken him and he's still talking to me. 😀

Keep going OP, you're doing brilliantly.

I’m a single mum with full-time custody of my teenagers. It is hard. I’ve just learnt to be excellent with the diary and very, very gentle with myself. Mostly! I’m lucky that my children are older, so there’s a lot less on me really. But I still sometimes wish that what there is, wasn’t all on me.

Definitely not just you. Lone parent to an 8 year old and it's exhausting keeping all the plates spinning

I'm a lone parent too and often feel completely overwhelmed by the work, family and my to-do list. It seems there are always things I've forgotten to do. Or new things added to the already endless list.

I get you OP. I work, have two primary kids and ADHD. DH does what he can but works out the house and away a lot.

When I find stuff overwhelming I try and fit in small tasks and almost challenge myself. I also like to think of it as doing "future me" a favour. Eg I was waiting for the kettle to boil earlier and thought shit I have to unload the dishwasher. Instead of thinking I'll do that later I thought I'll see how much I can get done before the kettle boils and future me will thank me for it. Hey presto dishwasher only took five minutes to unload and I didn't have to do it later when I was even more tired and overwhelmed!

It's breaking stuff down that I think definitely helps.

I often do but manage it by compartmentalising.
I’m not a single mum but we work full time with no family close by (hour and a half is the nearest), 3 DDs and I’m doing a masters - stupid midlife crisis!

Completely agree. The physical caretaking has definitely morphed into the emotional kind. My kids are 9-15 and I'm constantly knackered.

Same here.

It's not just you.

The only advice I can give is: don't sweat the small stuff.

Another full-time working single parent to teens here. As others have said, the key is lists, priorities, giving up on certain things (beige freezer food several days a week, skirting boards haven't been cleaned for literally years). Ask yourself what's the worst that will happen if I don't this? Usually, not a lot. Have a half hour session once a week with your phone and a list to make appointments, cancel subscriptions or whatever. Loads like that on my list so a intense blitz really helps.

Not just you. I have a very supportive partner and the "to do" list seems never ending between 2 children, 2 ft jobs, home, children's hobbies etc....

My new year's resolution was to factor in time to stop!!