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Original poster

Help! Have I made the wrong Primary School Choice!

28 replies

18daychallenge · 15/01/2024 15:45

Please help. I'm in a panic and really need some well-rounded advice.

We have made our Primary School selection for DC1 and submitted the form. We had the choice of two schools.

School 1 is a ten-minute walk up the road, very accessible and a good school. However, there were some small things that put me off (eg. a bit dingy, a very uninformed substitute teacher and some unruly year 6 children) but nothing major. Overall, a nice school, nice teachers, just didn't get a 'nice feeling' from it.

School 2 is a short drive away (2.5 miles but not safe to walk) which would take about 5-10 minutes, and also rated as good. Parking is quite difficult at 8.45 (but DC1 would likely be in breakfast club so wouldn't be so bad in the morning). The school was very focussed on children developing hobbies, sports and music, which I really liked. I also just got a really good feel from it, and could really see DC1 there.

We chose School 2 - but SO MANY people have told me to pick the one in walking distance. The other difficult thing is that my DH doesn't drive (medical issue) so the responsibility would all be on me, which might make it more challenging getting to work (I work full time, about 40-minute drive commute).

Please help - if you have any advice, or were in the same situation and made a choice - and please be kind, I know I shouldn't be deliberating this NOW, but its just after a meeting with some friends with older children I'm now having a wobble.

I am verging on emailing them with the 'make changes' form but am not sure at all!

Thanks!

OP posts:
spearthatbroc · 15/01/2024 15:48

even aside from the walking issue… i would have chosen option 1

throw in the fact it’s an easy walk over a drive… and 100% option 1

sorry to say.. i agree with them

Comedycook · 15/01/2024 15:48

You choose the school you liked best by the sounds of it

I think what really you need to consider is if the journey is sustainable and works logistically in terms of your own lives/jobs. What happens if your car breaks down? What's the traffic like? Etc

spearthatbroc · 15/01/2024 15:49

are neither or both over subscribed?

did you put option 1 as your second choice at least?

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General education
spearthatbroc · 15/01/2024 15:49

how does his father feel about never being able to drop or collect his son at school?

Comedycook · 15/01/2024 15:50

2.5 miles is a quite a distance for primary school...what about things like Christmas shows when you need to take them back in the evening to perform? Or parents evening?

JanglyBeads · 15/01/2024 15:51

You do realise you can resubmit your application online and change the order?

MrsSamR · 15/01/2024 15:51

Mumsnetters always seem to favour the nearest school which is walking distance over any other school which may be better for your child for any other reason! I don't get it - proximity isn't the most important factor when choosing your child's education! If you preferred the second school then you were right to put it first. We didn't like our local school (literally a 2 minute walk down the road) and have instead gone for a school a ten minute drive away and have no regrets as we're prioritising the quality over the school over convenience.

ChessieFL · 15/01/2024 15:52

What are the admission criteria for school 2? Do you meet any of them or are you hoping to get in on distance - and if so, what was the furthest distance offered last year and are you within that?

JanglyBeads · 15/01/2024 15:52

Sorry I reread and realise you do know this, and are last minute debating.

spearthatbroc · 15/01/2024 15:52

MrsSamR · 15/01/2024 15:51

Mumsnetters always seem to favour the nearest school which is walking distance over any other school which may be better for your child for any other reason! I don't get it - proximity isn't the most important factor when choosing your child's education! If you preferred the second school then you were right to put it first. We didn't like our local school (literally a 2 minute walk down the road) and have instead gone for a school a ten minute drive away and have no regrets as we're prioritising the quality over the school over convenience.

one parent will never be able to take or collect their child from school in this instance

Original poster
18daychallenge · 15/01/2024 15:55

Thank you for all the replies! I should have added, DH starts work v early and gets back after 6, so is unlikely to be able to help with school pick-up and drop-off. He is very undecided, like me, as he wants the better school but also would like the option to walk to school if he ever had a day off or finished early.

OP posts:
DragonFly98 · 15/01/2024 15:59

Non of your reasons for not putting school one first are a big deal. However I would go with your gut and stick with school 2. Driving 2.5 miles is not a big deal and takes no longer than walking to the other school.

moggle · 15/01/2024 15:59

Are you sure he will get into after school club? Our school’s one is too small for the size and ridiculously oversubscribed. Even in a normal year new reception children aren’t considered for places until October half term. This year they don’t have enough staff and haven’t opened the waiting lists at all.

apart from that. I would’ve chosen school 1 too in your shoes, sorry. We’re now in year 4 and year 1 and I hate the days we have to drive to collect because of activities. Parking is such a pain and the roads are so congested. It was even worse when my younger kids (twins) were babies / toddlers and couldn’t not be in the buggy though I expect with just one younger DC it might be a bit easier.

MugofteaandWordle · 15/01/2024 16:00

I work in a Primary School, why not see how things go from September. If you feel it’s not right you can always apply for an in-year transfer to the other school.

Yes it’s great to be within walking distance but you have to like the feel of a school and the ones that you feel are right for your child, usually are.

Those with alternate opinions are not living your life nor are they parenting your child.

spearthatbroc · 15/01/2024 16:00

you both work full time… so will be going to after school club every day or a child minder?

Itslegitimatesalvage · 15/01/2024 16:02

Not having the option to let your kid walk when they are old enough to do it by themselves is a nightmare. Honestly, pick the one in walking distance if it’s a good school. Don’t if it is a shithole, but it doesn’t sound as though it is.

You will definitely want to be able to let the kid walk home and you aren’t tied to pick ups and drop offs.

moggle · 15/01/2024 16:03

Seeing your update that DH is out at work long hours- so you’re essentially doing this alone - do you have younger child(ren)? Guess yes as you said DC1. What’s their childcare situation? And your work situation? Just to point out that if the younger child is sick you still have to get DC1 to school.
I think this will be very hard to manage completely solo IMO.

moggle · 15/01/2024 16:05

sorry seen you work FT too, with a commute. Is school 2 on your way to work? That’s a bonus at least I suppose. I think you really need to make sure you know the details of the breakfast / after school club. (That goes for school 1 or school 2 I suppose!)

Clearinguptheclutter · 15/01/2024 16:07

I’d always choose the school within walking distance unless there were serious issues with it

my kids now take themselves to and from school but previously it was very straightforward to manage between me and dh and also various other parents that live nearby. The vast majority of the my kids friends live within a 10 minute walk which is so helpful I can’t highlight it enough, especially as now they can basically get themselves between the various houses

I’d hate being solely restrained for drop offs and pick ups which you will be.

I also just hate being tied to the car but it’s a bit different if you would be driving anyway and just dropping off/picking up en route.

FrustatedAgain · 15/01/2024 16:07

I think the closer one does sound more practical given your partner can’t drive. Do they have wrap around care there? As you both work that’s an important consideration. Your partner may need to occasionally do
pick ups and this does make it harder. Also when they’re in year 6 and start to want some independence being able to walk will help.

Bunnyhopskip · 15/01/2024 16:25

I would have personally chose the nearer school, as being able to walk to school, get there really quickly, makes life so much simpler. Plus easier for DC to have playdates after school and make really local friends, and eventually walk home by themselves/with their friends. Plus if any car trouble, means you can still get them to school easily, and if local, you may find there are other parents who are willing to pitch in and help eachother out with school runs. Like others have mentioned though, firstly I'd check out if there are spaces at ooh clubs at each school as it sounds like you will be needing to rely on them, and the spaces can get scanned up very quickly. I know ours has a waiting list, with children in years 1 & 2 having been on the list since starting reception!

Quornflakegirl · 15/01/2024 16:33

I would always choose the school I felt a better fit for my child. We have 3 local primaries (all within 1.2 miles from us but we went with the small school 6.5 miles away and in no way have I regretted it.

EffortlessDelegation · 15/01/2024 16:44

We felt that there would have to be something seriously wrong with the walking distance school for us to pick another one instead, it made life so much easier and had the benefit that all the DCs friends were a very short distance from home too. They could walk home on their own when they got older, walk home with friends, have friends for tea without having to worry about car seats etc, if one was staying late for an event it was easy to pop back later. Even more so when one was in KS1 and one in KS2 so we had different sports days, different school discos etc. Also no issues with traffic and parking, we all got a bit of exercise, I am really glad we went for that one.

FailingAtEverythingAgain · 15/01/2024 17:01

We've just done exactly the same as you OP. One school is basically behind the house and is fine, rated good, quite big, maybe a bit too big for our shy introverted DS, and I didn't get a nice gut feeling when we looked round. The other is a 5 minute drive or 30 minute walk. Smaller, with loads of emphasis on outdoor play and seems to be trying to turn out more well-rounded people rather than just getting good grades. Felt very friendly when we visited and staff were helpful and responsive when we emailed with some followup questions. We've put the latter down as our first choice and I'm 100% happy with that. When you're child is old enough to take themselves to and from school, 2.5 miles is not far on a bike if the road isn't too busy.

I would go with your gut, OP. There's more to education than the commute.

YesThatsATurdOnTheRug · 15/01/2024 17:01

We're at the walking distance school but I wouldn't have chosen it over another if I didn't have a good feeling about it. Things might be minorly inconvenient at times, does that really trump a better school? Tricky.

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