I am disappointed that my mum does not want to visit me and is an absent grandmother.
Background: My mum doted on me a lot when I was a kid. She would send and fetch me from school everyday, accompanied me during recess times. When we were just children, my mum would make sure my siblings and I have the essentials covered, but she does not know how to be there for us emotionally. She would call to ensure my safety if I were to be home late. Fast forward to high school, she didn't want to attend my graduation, saying it's boring. But I have felt sad even until today. During my university graduation, I forced her to come and she did, reluctantly. 8 years ago, I moved to another country with my then-boyfriend. She was very sad and wanted me to stay. She teared a few times over the 8 years. I've also flew back home to visit her at least once a year, sometimes 2 times a year. She never visited me in the new country but I'm fine with it.
Current times:* *Fast forward to today, my boyfriend-turned-spouse and I have moved back. It has been a year since we've moved back. I delivered a baby 6 months ago. She has only visited me and the baby 3 times. I still want to spend time with my mum. Several times I asked to meet her in town or invited her to my house (1 hour away from her by public transport), but she is always citing my house is far from hers, or she's busy. Well, this is true, she doesn't like to travel.
She lives in the same house as my brother and sister-in-law. Once, she even ridiculously mentioned that as my sister-in-law will be having a baby soon, she will not have the time to visit me anymore because she will need to take care of my sister-in-law's baby. To which I replied her "there are still a few months before the baby comes, you can visit me before that". And of course, she has no better reply than "I'll consider".
I know most probably she will have no objection if I initiate to visit her at her house. But I just want her to ask! She does not initiate to meet me. Does she not want to be around her own children!? Today, I just texted her again, inviting her over. She replied something irrelevant and totally ignored my invitation. I am sad but I'm also starting to get angry with her. I do not understand why she wanted to keep me from moving to a new country 8 years ago, but now she does not want to see me much?
My family doesn't open up to each other, and this has always been how we are since young. 1 month after I delivered my baby, I was having a bit of post partum depression. I texted my mum telling her I'm sad. And again, she replied irrelevant subjects and did not respond to my emotions. My mum also does not visit her own parents.
I still think about the good things she did for me when I was a child, and I remember them fondly. And those were the only good things I remember of her. I don't feel her love and care for me anymore since becoming an adult. I wish she could be more present in my siblings', my child's and my life. I feel sad for my child that she will not have a maternal grandmother who is present in her life.