Age gaps of children worry!

[Blondehairgonewild]

Eldest is nearly 7 and youngest is 4, we have tried for a 3rd but ended with a miscarriage last year. So it would be nearly 8/5 years between the youngest.

Contemplating if we should ttc again or not. I don’t feel like my family’s complete and I have always wanted 2 or 3 kids. Just wondering if the age gaps are getting too big for a third now? Youngest would be starting school when the next one is born. I was thinking when the 3rd starts school my eldest would be secondary school 😳

If we don’t have any more we could go on some amazing holidays with our current kids but I can’t shake this feeling of wanting to complete our family. I feel so torn and worry about regretting it either way!

I think those age gaps are perfectly fine. My older one was in reception when my 2nd was born and honestly, I think 5 years is a great age gap. It meant I got proper time with each of them. Costs of a third child are another thing. We decided we only wanted 2 as wanted to get out of the baby phase, not need any more bedrooms/bigger car, no more nursery costs, etc. But that's totally different from the age gap issue. I think that age gap is fine. Personally, I think people who have 2 year gaps are a bit mad tbh!

All that said, I don't think you'd regret having a third if you feel like it's what you want. I was very sure even before I got pregnant with 2nd that I only ever wanted 2. And then when 2nd was born, I was like, right, that's that then! I've never even thought about wanting to have another. If you don't feel done, then you don't feel done.

@mindutopia thank you for your response. I think you’re right I do deep down want another baby. It’s just not logical however I’m sure having one or two isn’t logical if you think about it too much. Maybe 5 years it’s a crazy age gap just not what I had pictured.

When my youngest was born the older two were nearly 8 and 5 ¼. He wasn't planned but has been much loved by all of us. He's now the father of an 11, 8 and 5 year old himself. I wouldn't worry about the age gap. There is some trickiness when the oldest gets to be a teen and the youngest is still in nursery but nothing that can't be coped with.