How did you overcome stress?

user1471867483 · 15/01/2024 12:05

GhostInTheFridge · 15/01/2024 11:50

Hello,

New here so sorry if I get anything wrong.

I’m really struggling with stress and I wondered if anyone here had overcome it and how they did? I’ve been struggling for years now. I have ADHD so all the usual recommendations of ‘keep a gratitude journal’ just don’t work - I can’t remember where the damned journal is, let alone remember to write in it!

I have a toddler and I work for myself, so I can’t be signed off anything. I have no family around and DH works long hours but he is supportive and helpful when he’s around. I like my job but it is stressful. I get exercise, today for example I have swim with my child and we’re going on a walk later. I have big dog walks on the days my child is in nursery before I work. I also swim one evening a week. I have a good diet; today for example I ate Greek yoghurt with kefir, berries and a mix of nuts and seeds and lunch is a grilled chicken wrap with a bean salad and a little cheese (leftovers from last nights dinner).
I have a mental health support and I have had counselling but it was the normal stuff about gratitude journaling and finding time to read, deep breathing (which I do try and do) and meditation which doesn’t work because my brain wanders off due to the ADHD. They recommended I have more intense counselling but the waitlist is long. It’s like my cortisol is so high I can’t get back down and it frightens me because of what I must be doing to my body. I have severe insomnia, I’ve developed weight around my middle quite suddenly which is concerning. I’ve had my hormones and other things checked via bloods and all seems normal, I just can’t seem to get out of this state. I’m starting some cold water therapy (having cold showers and such) but has anyone found anything else that really helped?

Thank you

I'm going to pray for you xx🙏

Octavia64 · 15/01/2024 12:21

Therapy would normally examine the source of your stress.

Is it that you are doing too much?

Is it that at work you are interacting with difficult people? Members of the public, difficult clients etc

Is it that your toddler is high needs?

A lot of the standard things for stress really do not work for people with adhd.

Original poster

GhostInTheFridge · 15/01/2024 12:24

Octavia64 · 15/01/2024 12:21

Therapy would normally examine the source of your stress.

Is it that you are doing too much?

Is it that at work you are interacting with difficult people? Members of the public, difficult clients etc

Is it that your toddler is high needs?

A lot of the standard things for stress really do not work for people with adhd.

I work for myself at home alone, so not that, but it is a lot of pressure on myself. It has been mentioned that my DC may also have ADHD too but I have put that to the back of my mind. They’re a lovely kid but very high energy and a bad sleeper, which doesn’t help as I have insomnia which is worsening.

But I look at my situation and feel like it shouldn’t be that stressful not really. One kid, working for myself, kind and supportive partner. I feel like I’ve got myself in this position and just don’t know how to get out of it, if that makes sense?

OP posts:

Alalalalalongalalalalalonglonglilong · 15/01/2024 13:04

I hear you OP, I posted a very similar thread a few months ago. Like you I felt guilty for being stressed because relatively my situation is not so bad.

I'm in a much better frame of mind now and honestly I'm not entirely sure what changed. I did a course of reflexology at one point, I also made an effort to contact friends and have a few catch ups. I joined yoga once a week. The main thing I've done is set my alarm for 10 mins earlier in the morning and i do a bit more prep at night. I allow extra time for everything, I avoid rushing as much as I can. If I have a window of time I set an alarm for 10 mins or so and lie on the bed and listen to relaxing music and breathe deeply. I also made a weekly household cleaning diary, so instead of constantly looking around for what needs to be done, I just think it's Monday, I do x jobs and just do it. Same with food, I order hello fresh 2 days a week and have routines for the other days so my brain isn't constantly thinking about what I need to do. I have a phone diary that I put everything into. These are all small things that helped me.

Mia45 · 15/01/2024 13:06

GhostInTheFridge · 15/01/2024 12:24

I work for myself at home alone, so not that, but it is a lot of pressure on myself. It has been mentioned that my DC may also have ADHD too but I have put that to the back of my mind. They’re a lovely kid but very high energy and a bad sleeper, which doesn’t help as I have insomnia which is worsening.

But I look at my situation and feel like it shouldn’t be that stressful not really. One kid, working for myself, kind and supportive partner. I feel like I’ve got myself in this position and just don’t know how to get out of it, if that makes sense?

Show quote history

How much childcare support do you have, e.g. is little one in nursery full time? A high energy toddler who doesn’t sleep is enough to wear anyone out

Original poster

GhostInTheFridge · 15/01/2024 13:09

Mia45 · 15/01/2024 13:06

How much childcare support do you have, e.g. is little one in nursery full time? A high energy toddler who doesn’t sleep is enough to wear anyone out

Show quote history

3 days a week (9-3). It’s just my husband and I, no one else around to support. Husband is supportive, especially on weekends and I get a couple of hours to myself here and there, but I often end up working or cleaning or walking the dog because I cannot seem to stop. It’s like I’m stuck in a cycle, I can’t relax and stop stressing. Like I say, it’s like I’ve been stuck in this position for so long I don’t know how to get out of it?

I was living alone for about a year whilst my husband had to work abroad and I think it’s the hangover from that as I was working and dc only had childcare 2 mornings a week. I feel like I need to snap out of it but can’t?

OP posts:

Original poster

GhostInTheFridge · 15/01/2024 13:09

Alalalalalongalalalalalonglonglilong · 15/01/2024 13:04

I hear you OP, I posted a very similar thread a few months ago. Like you I felt guilty for being stressed because relatively my situation is not so bad.

I'm in a much better frame of mind now and honestly I'm not entirely sure what changed. I did a course of reflexology at one point, I also made an effort to contact friends and have a few catch ups. I joined yoga once a week. The main thing I've done is set my alarm for 10 mins earlier in the morning and i do a bit more prep at night. I allow extra time for everything, I avoid rushing as much as I can. If I have a window of time I set an alarm for 10 mins or so and lie on the bed and listen to relaxing music and breathe deeply. I also made a weekly household cleaning diary, so instead of constantly looking around for what needs to be done, I just think it's Monday, I do x jobs and just do it. Same with food, I order hello fresh 2 days a week and have routines for the other days so my brain isn't constantly thinking about what I need to do. I have a phone diary that I put everything into. These are all small things that helped me.

Thank you for this. Scheduling some time sounds like it might work if I can develop it into a habit? I’ll give it a go.

OP posts:

Mia45 · 15/01/2024 13:52

GhostInTheFridge · 15/01/2024 13:09

3 days a week (9-3). It’s just my husband and I, no one else around to support. Husband is supportive, especially on weekends and I get a couple of hours to myself here and there, but I often end up working or cleaning or walking the dog because I cannot seem to stop. It’s like I’m stuck in a cycle, I can’t relax and stop stressing. Like I say, it’s like I’ve been stuck in this position for so long I don’t know how to get out of it?

I was living alone for about a year whilst my husband had to work abroad and I think it’s the hangover from that as I was working and dc only had childcare 2 mornings a week. I feel like I need to snap out of it but can’t?

Show quote history

Would it be possible to increase dc hours at nursery? All children are different and is very different having a chilled 2 year old who will play by themselves, sleeps well at night plus has a nap in the afternoon compared to a high energy child who doesn’t sleep 😓 Personally found upping childcare hours helped a lot as then had the energy to actually able to enjoy the weekends with dc and had got most of the housework already done on my days off so things felt less chaotic in general