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Office or WFH tomorrow?

29 replies

SummerRemembered · 14/01/2024 17:07

Might of Mumsnet, please help me make this most basic of decisions.

I normally work from home on mondays. This is my only day at home and an arrangement which pre-dates covid. I see my elderly parents on mondays after work and it's easier to switch off and get straight there from home, than it is to come from my workplace. I've always had an understanding with work though that if necessary, i would come in on a monday. This is happening next week due to a large-scale and important event . My parents know about this and i've swapped my mum & dad day with DSis for one week to accommodate. NB: since covid, hybrid working has become the norm and most people work a 3/2 arrangement but I've retained 4/1 with the Monday only at home as I generally find it easier to work from the office.

Tomorrow morning, my workplace is having a welcome event, first thing in the morning, to wish everyone a happy new year and welcome new staff. This kind of thing happens every 6 months and senior management, which includes me, are encouraged to attend and circulate to introduce ourselves etc. Normally there is a lot of notice but this one was only announced on Thursday.

I have a meeting in the afternoon which is likely to be intense and challenging. I had already asked for it to be scheduled on a different day but that's not possible so have made clear i'll be joining online. The meeting involves, among others, a middle manager in my team, and someone senior to me who does not manage me but wishes she did.

The middle manager is nervous about the meeting and has asked several times if i can come in tomorrow to be in the room with her.

The other person has long been against my wfh arrangement as she expects me to be available at her beck and call. I have a monthly 1:1 meeting with her which can only take place on mondays due to her scheduling and i've been resolute in not mucking around my parents for this reason. This also works for me as i find it much easier to talk to this person through a screen than in person. Our next 1:1 is the week after next so if she sees me come in to the office tomorrow and then for the event next Monday, she'll think i can easily change plans again for the next again week.

I also have a meeting in the morning about a complex and confidential HR issue which i purposefully scheduled online while i am at home so i can be sure of nobody overhearing nor interrupting. I do have a private office at work but soundproofing isn't great and most folk walk in unannounced throughout the day, even when the door is closed.

If i go into the office, i'll need to leave early, around 4pm, to get to my parents as i can't switch arrangements with DSis at this short notice. This not only means having to make up time elsewhere but also is a bit shaky - the intense meeting will finish at 4pm and might overrun but i'll have to drop and run.

So my dilemma is: stay at home, better for parents, for HR meeting, and allows me to hold firm on arrangements. Or, go to office, attend welcome event and be able to better support my middle manager in the other meeting.

OP posts:
Bellyblueboy · 14/01/2024 20:14

Spirallingdownwards · 14/01/2024 18:32

I don't dispute that but she explains that when people have caring responsibilities then more notice is required to get cover. Responsible employers would take that on board and rearrange that meeting to enable her to meet her caring responsibilities and support the staff member.

the fact that her team member has asked her several times for in person support is what swings it for me.

she can still fulfil her caring arrangements and provide support to her team.

mollyfolk · 14/01/2024 20:23

Your going to have to go in. It will look bad from the perspective of your peers and seniors and you will damage the relationship with your middle manager in the process. You’re going to have to suck it up - even though they should have given you more notice.

mewkins · 14/01/2024 22:29

I'd go in tomorrow. But when convenient have a word with the person scheduling the welcome stuff and ask if they can give a lot more notice for future events.

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Journeytosober · 14/01/2024 23:02

Given it sounds like it is a one off and a special event for staff, I also agree that you should go in.

I also wfh on Mondays and I have childcare commitments straight after school but if I need to be in, I will be and make alternative arrangements. Flexible working is supposed to work both ways.

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