Who to pick as godmother?

[Bunny2021]

We need to pick godparents for our DD.

My DH has chosen two of his friends that I’m really happy with. I’m struggling to pick from my side.

Unfortunately, lots of my friendships have changed over the years and in particular since having children (was one of the first in my friend groups) so I feel I have very limited people to ask.

Our DS has three godparents (two from DH side and one from mine). I think we’ll probably do similar for DD.

options are:

1. my oldest friend. We’ve known each other since we were at nursery together. Our families are quite involved. We were good friends at primary school but drifted when we went to secondary school/university etc but still stayed friends. We’re now in our mid-thirties and have both moved back to our home town. We see each other every couple of months and it’s lovely but we’re not super close. She will go over to my mum for supper (even if I’m not there), my mum will help out with her older sister and baby if needed.
2. One of my “best” friends. We’ve been friends since sixth form, we’re each other’s bridesmaids. We were super close. Had a falling out in 2019 but made up and were super close again. She went from never wanting children to desperate to have one (after I had DS). I was super supportive when she had a miscarriage. I found out I was pregnant with DD two weeks later (our second DC). I told her I was pregnant (around 20 weeks) and she didn’t take the news well and tbh it put a dampener on my pregnancy as her and our other friend from school stopped talking to me. Towards the end of the pregnancy she apologised and we made up. She has since had her DD and apologised again for not being there for me. She is completely atheist and wouldn’t believe in “renouncing the devil” part of a christening at all.
3. new friend. Met at baby group for our DS’s (so couple of years). We get on really well and she’s been a really good friend the last couple of years - someone I can imagine having in my life long term. There are three of us in our friendship group and I really like the other mum friend but I wouldn’t say we’re as close and I think it would be awkward to ask friend 3 without asking the other. However, the other friend is also atheist. Friend 3 and I have the same approach - we go on Christmas and Easter and other times if requested by our parents.

There’s not one person that feels like the right pick (unlike picking for our DS) so I’m feeling a bit down about it and indecisive.

Any help would be appreciated!

Can't you just ask some people from your congregation?

I would go for friend 3, she is the one you are closest to at the moment and if she has similar values to you is a good person to have in your DD life.

Which of them would be the best godparent to your child? A good influence, supportive etc? And which is most aligned with your moral view of the world? That’s probably the most important thing.

Sibling or cousin?
From your list though I'd go for friend 1. Sounds like she'll always be around/part of the family.
We picked one for dc2 that sounded much like your number 3. They moved away around 18 months after and haven't been in touch since. Guess we weren't as close as I thought!

The 3rd one by the sound of it

Pick someone who you think will be an engaged aunt figure - it’s about their relationship with your kid not you. People without children are often a good choice

What’s the point in that?

I think the first, she's consistent in your life and almost part of the family. The second it's a bit pointless as she isn't religious at all and it's probably wouldn't sit well with her. The third a couple of years with same age DC is one thing but those friendships are often situational if one of you moved away do you really think it would continue?

why don’t you ask the same person you had for your eldest child?

both my children have the same god parents. At that point in our lives, we had no friends who went to church or believed in God so we had my aunt and uncle who are Christian’s and involved in weekly church life.

i didn’t want to just ask someone just for the sake of it.

Thanks everyone for your replies. I think we’re going to go with option 1.