What to do about this bed situation

[OhDearShirley]

Since my 4 year old was born when my PIL come to stay, every 4 months or so, they sleep in mine and my husbands bed, and we sleep in a airbed in the living room.
I hate it. Absolutely hate it. It's uncomfortable and I can't get away from them as I can't escape to my bedroom. I'm an introvert and my MIL has never has a thought she didn't vocalise.
They are coming in a week to stay for the weekend. I said after Christmas that I couldn't do it again. My husband thinks I'm being unreasonable- almost as if he thinks it's rude to not give them the bed, and hasn't discussed it with them.
I have offered sofa bed +/- mattress topper, airbed, pemier inn. WWYD?
To not drip feed, I have an inflammatory arthritis that leaves me very stiff in the morning and struggle to get off the floor, and I'm working for 12 hours on the Saturday in a very physical job. They are in reasonable health, MIL had a knee replacement a couple of years ago.

Dear god, you should absolutely not have to give up your bed with your condition. I would really really get as upset as necessary to get that through to your dim witted husband.

If they can afford to pay for a prem inn they should do that, if they can’t but you can then do that, or get a double camp bed frame and a mattress for them and store it in the attic, or if you haven’t the room then a full height plug in blow up mattress. Sofa - it depends on your sofa.

Is there room for a double bed in your child's room?

My parents stay in a travel lodge when they come.
We have no spare room, and the children's rooms (small singles) all have high beds so my parents wouldn't be comfortable in them.

It works well because we all (especially my dad) need time alone, so we see them during the day, but then in the evening we get some space. Can you do this?

No sadly, they've both got high single sleepers to maximise space

I have a bad habit of powering through, so my lacking in empathy anyway husband gives it no thought.

Book Your local Travelodge or BnB . Make them welcome from morning coffee onwards. That is enough,
Offer them the air bed if they must stay. Your DH is being unreasonable

Who cares what he thinks? He doesn’t care that his stupid plan leaves you exhausted, in pain and risks you being unable to do your job!

Tell them yourself that they can have the airbed or book a hotel. Clearly you can’t trust your husband to act in your interests.

Would you consider investing in a comfortable and decent sofa bed. There are some great ones in IKEA that don't cost a fortune. But I think the primary cause of your upset is having nowhere to "escape" to as in your own bedroom.

I would absolutely hate that too TBH. Would the PILs take the sofa bed, or would your DH object and insist that you give up your room. Emphasise the discomfort of an airbed with your arthritis, so you need your own bed.

I agree you should ring them and tell them yourself. It’ll be the airbed for them, sorry, but you really struggle with your condition and you have to work too.

Bugger that!

I'd book the Premier Inn for yourself and let your husband have the airbed.

Space for yourself and a decent bed that I need a step or run up to get into!

This is what I was about to say! You go to a hotel and get some peace, dh gets the floor and his parents get the bed.

Absolutely, go to the premier inn and leave them all to it. Quiet night and someone else cooking breakfast 😋

I would book myself into the hotel

Fuck that. Fuck them all.

You're an eejit for ever having given up your bed. I would NEVER let someone sleep in my bed.

Agree. It was not sensible. It was prior to MILs knee replacement and she was struggling

Your house isn't big enough to host overnight so don't host the selfish knobs. We specifically don't have any spare beds for this very reason. If they want to visit they can stay in a hotel or just come for the day. Simples. I hate having my space invaded and wouldn't budge on this 😒 I really feel for you.

Also no way in hell would I ever let anyone sleep in my bed. That's my space to retreat from everything. No bloody way. I don't understand how some people are ok with it. It flummoxes me

We always offer my parents out bed as dh wakes at 1.30/2 so makes sense for us to be on the sofa. Dh has Ankylosing spondylitis, I have MS. The difference is that my parents are really easy going, there's no way they would rabbit on and on and on so much that I'd need to run away. And they don't stay long, a night is more than enough for my dad.

Either they stay in the local hotel or you do - give your husband that choice

Why are they coming to stay so soon after Christmas?

I'd book myself a hotel for the weekend fuck that!

I refuse to sleep on air mattresses now I'm in my 40s. I'd rather not go somewhere.... we tried them for the kids and it was only 50/50 that they'd get a decent night's sleep. We bought a couple of camp beds that collapse into a small bag and they're happy to sleep on those...

That said - could YOU sleep in a high sleeper and put one of the children on the floor?

Failing that, I'd be in the Premier Inn...!

I don't get it either. Hell would freeze over before I give anyone else my bed.

Premier Inn would get my vote.

I wouldn't give up my bed. Can your dd come into your room on a blow up bed and give them hers so at least they'll have privacy?

There's no way I would give up my bed/bedroom. Surely they can stay somewhere nearby?

Premier in or an Airbnb. We always do that when visiting our adult children and their families. We all like our space and some down time.