Feeling a bit used and sad

[Pidoora]

I usually see my bf at the weekend and sometimes during the week, depending on schedules. I love spending time with him and it can sometimes be a bit annoying if our schedules clash but I usually try to accommodate his.
He was out with work yesterday and really wanted to meet earlier today because he “missed me” which was sweet but a bit inconvenient, but I could move things around and have him over. He did come over but practically left after we had had sex because he had some more work to do. I get it, but I also felt so let down at the same time because that’s really the only thing we did and I had thought that we’d spend a few hours together. He was also quite selfish in a way and that’s usually not the case.
I probably sound ridiculous but I felt really weepy when he left, and I still feel a bit sad now though not so bad.
Maybe it’s hormones but I feel so low right now, and also angry with him and I know that he won’t even know or understand..

I get it.
If he’d made it clear before arriving that he was just ‘popping in for a quickie’ then you could have chosen to say ‘great, see you in 10 mins’ or tell him that you weren’t happy with that. He said he missed you, so your expectation was that he wanted to spend time with you. I think you need to spell out how it made you feel.

And the fact he was selfish must have made you feel used. I think you need to tell him. If he’s a nice guy he’ll be mortified. He needs to make it up to you with some quality time.

That's not great at all, really rubbish behaviour. Is he usually selfish?

You need to talk to him about this, his reaction will tell a lot about how he sees you and whether he values your feelings. And start not accommodating his schedule, you will soon see if he makes an effort to see you

Please listen to to your feelings.
Stop being used.

I'd dump him tbh.

He seems to view you as a booty call.

So you rearranged your schedule for him at no notice, had shit sex and then he left?
I think you need to have a frank conversation with him about how he made you feel.
I also think you should stop prioritising him if you already have plans - put yourself first, not him.

It's ok if this is a one off. But not on a regular basis. Can you organise a proper date for next time you meet up? Go out for dinner or go to a show or something.

He doesn't sound like a keeper to me.

He usually isn’t like this which is why I was so confused. It was really just a bootie call. Surely he could have waited another day so we can spend the whole evening/ night together.
I know that this isn’t a big deal but it left me feeling a bit rubbish.

Honestly, OP, I would say this is him showing his true colours. You say he wouldn't understand if you tried to talk to him - that suggests you've already seen his capacity for selfishness and gaslighting. At the very least, if you don't feel able to be honest with him, he's not the one for you.

He treated you badly and you have a choice: tell him how you feel and give him a chance to make amends. Or just let him go.

Sorry, I know how much it hurts xx

Booty calls are fine, even in longer term relationships - but only if you both agree that you're short on time and just want a quickie.
It's not fine if he says he misses you and then uses you for sex.
How long have you been together?

It's shit when you end up feeling like that.

I would stop being the one who reschedules quite so much and maybe next time he wants a quick meet up ask him "is this another shit booty call'

You feel rubbish because it was rubbish. You were seeking an emotional connection and sex wasn’t it. It needs a firm conversation.

Don’t ever ascribe your feelings to ‘hormones’. It makes it sound as if you think your own desire to be treated well is trivial.

Yes!

This is excellent advice.

You feel used because you were used. A fuck and run is great if both parties are agreeable, but you need to make it clear that you didn’t rearrange your schedule just for a shag.

If it’s a first “offence” so to speak I wouldn’t chuck him, but you do need to communicate what you want going forward, not just change your life around to suit him.

That's because he treated you like a thing for his convenience, rather than a person he cared for and wanted to be with, because he "missed" you.

Don't put any effort into being someone's option OP, you are better than that. 🌹