10 year old struggling so much with anxiety and panic attacks

[Skintdancemum]

My DD is 10 and I’m so worried about her. She’s had 3 panic attacks now and says her “brain is on fire”.

She isn’t wanting to do things she previously loved, and is upset about pretty much everything 😢 She’s saying she has no friends, no talents etc.

She goes to a small school and her classmates are all very confident and outgoing, and she compares herself constantly and finds herself coming up short

Has anyone else had this? What do I do?! Obviously I reassure her that she’s amazing, I take her worries seriously, and try and make her feel less stressed. I just feel so helpless for her!

Start with a GP appointment and talking to her class tea her and the senco.

Does she have a phone?

It sounds like it’s definitely worth getting GP support with the panic attacks.

Do you think she’s more of an introverted and quiet person where as a lot of her classmates are extrovert? Growing up as an introvert, I lacked so much confidence as thought I was boring and unpopular because I wasn’t outgoing and loud. Only as an adult did I start to understand that I was an introvert and need time to myself to recharge, that I observe more than I talk and would prefer to spend a Friday night in the sofa with a good book! I’m no less confident, successful or adventurous then my extrovert friends…we just have different needs and do things in different ways.

She might find this book a good read (it’s aimed at introvert teenagers) https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/aw/d/0241977916/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?ie=UTF8&qid=&sr=

She also has a Ted Talk which is excellent.

Your poor DD, 10 is so young to be dealing with panic attacks. Mine was 10 too when it started and it was heartbreaking to witness.

I got my DC into therapy which seemed to help over a year or so. I went private as the waiting list for CAMHS was up to a year. I would get to your GP asap to start a CAMHS referral.

Good luck.

I will make a GP appointment asap, and go down the private route if necessary

Shes very much the quiet child trying to keep up with very confident and extroverted kids in a small class

Should I continue encouraging her to attend her dance classes (which she loves when she’s there) or just scrap everything and let her chill at home after school and weekends? I’m worried it’s making her worse by having the pressure of competing etc, but then when I suggest stopping she’s equally upset 🤷‍♀️ I don’t know what to do for the best

The best explanation I’ve heard about how introverts and extroverts manage their energy is this - introverts start the day with a full battery and being around people, socializing etc drains their battery and they’ll then need quiet time to recharge. Extroverts start the day with an empty battery and get energized from being busy and sociable.

So if I’ve had a day working in the office, I’ll tend to not plan anything social in the evening as I’ve been “peopled” enough . If I’ve worked from home then I’m more then happy to spend time with friends after work.

Can you include your daughter in the decisions and say it’s a bit like a science experiment to see what works? Try dance classes for a bit but no competitions. Try limiting after school activities but do something on a weekend morning instead.

That’s a really good way of looking at it @AutumnLeaves5, definitely worth trying

I have tried suggesting we cut certain things out and am met with more panic at the thought of that, but it’s worth trying again when she’s calm and receptive to talking