Newborn Support Thread

[user2233]

Hi All,

I'm sure this isn't the first thread of this type, however, I thought I'd create a new thread.

Currently a FTM mum to a six week old baby. I love her to bits, but it hasn't been an easy six weeks. The sleepless nights and postpartum anxiety has been far worse than I'd imagined.

Thought I'd create this thread so any new mums can come on here and share their experiences and support each other. I feel as though this is probably the loneliest I've ever felt. Despite having a supportive partner and supportive parents. I still feel lonely - like I crave talking to other newborn/first time mums who are going through what I'm going through in real time.

With that being said, I do adore my little one, but I naively didn't think it would be this hard. I've had experience looking after other kids but I've found my own experience harder.

She's everything I was missing in my life and more. However, I'm constantly worrying about her, my main worries are related to feeding:

• She's quite difficult to burp. I'm not sure why, it takes ages and sometimes she doesn't end up burping. I've tried numerous positions and techniques but nothing really seems to help.

• She feeds little and often (formula fed) which makes the nights quite difficult. I don't think she can handle larger volumes of formula, so she has around 2ish oz every two hours. Not sure if this is even right?!

• I'm 99.9% sure she has silent reflux. She's quite uncomfortable after feeds. Often arches her back, has hiccups and shows other signs of silent reflux. I've told professionals but they just seem to say she'll grow out of it as she's still putting on weight. Not sure what else I can do to help her in the mean-time?

Sorry for the long post, just wanted to create a space to share experiences and not feel so lonely whilst doing these 4am feeds!

P.S. I'm pretty much awake all night so I am more than happy to support any other mums who are awake and are going through something similar. X

Anyone?

Hey not ftm have a son. Now have a daughter and struggle to burp her sometimes. My son was no bother. Definitely push if you think she has silent reflux. Don't let them fob you off. X

Hi! I have a 4 month old so certainly not a newborn. However I’m still struggling with the sleepless nights, constant worry and general existential exhaustion. Happy to offer any advice I can about the newborn stage but also still feeling very much in the thick of it.

it might be she’s hard to burp because the gas is on the other end!!! Look up some videos on YouTube for techniques to help them fart

@blackpanth I've messaged the health visitor about it and I'm just waiting to see what she says. I've tried things like keeping her upright after a feed, stopped using the Perfect Prep machine even tried to change formula brands but nothing seems to have helped. So I'm just waiting to see what she says now x

@Al991 thank you for sharing your experience 💕 I hope things start to get easier for you.

How often does your LO wake up for feeds? The lack of sleep and its impact is definitely underestimated. I really hope things get easier for you. Does your LO sleep more so during the day?

My LO doesn't really nap for that long during the day and she wakes every two hours for a feed at night. I feed her smaller quantities but more often to try and help with her reflux symptoms. But it's so difficult to get any sleep for myself in between because between those feeds she's constantly making noises and sounds uncomfortable which means I sit up most of the night watching her to make sure she's okay 😭 x

Can I join too? Currently have a 4 week old who is combination fed. I also have a three year old but I seem to have forgotten everything about the newborn stage.

Do you know what treatment can be offered for silent reflux? My little one is feeding at longer intervals but he is also arching his back and can be a bit fussy when feeding, which I don’t think happened with my first

Just a quick placeholder before I try and go back to sleep.

Have 9 week old DS, who is my second. Also have an older DS who is over 2.5. I thought my first was a needy baby but boy, what little did I know! My second is very colicky and cries for hours and it is so so tough. Struggling to enjoy the newborn phase as I’m either dealing with him crying, or trying to get him to sleep, and then feeling full of guilt at neglecting my first. And then feeling sad I’m wishing away the newborn phase when we’re not planning to have any more.

I wondered about silent reflux too but saw a gastro paediatrician who ruled it out and said I just have an angry baby 🤷🏻‍♀️

Hello, great idea for a thread. I feel lonely too despite having support, because the nights with a newborn are long and cold, and the lack of sleep makes your worries seem bigger and even the nice moments harder. I have a 2 year old and a breastfed 6 week old, my biggest struggle is my newborn wakes and cries as soon as I put him down so I rarely get him to sleep in his next to me crib. He is also quite a sick baby despite gaining good weight.
I agree with a previous poster about looking up methods of helping baby with trapped wind as well as trying to burp them!

@1pregnantmum my thoughts are with you 💕. The nights definitely feel so long and lonely. If I'm honest I started to dread night time. However, my LO just hit the 6 week mark and has started smiling (a proper smile not a windy one) and times like that I try to remember when it gets difficult during the night. It can be hard and I constantly have to train myself to think about the positives, but it's the only way to get through it in my opinion.

My LO hated the Next2Me crib too. She was 3 weeks old when I came to my mum's and she's been sleeping in a Moses basket here. Again, she didn't like it to begin with but she's started tolerating it more and more. I think for her, the trick is to put her down when she's really sleepy/sleeping and have the room be warm. I also wrap her in a muslin swaddle and keep her arms out. I think the muslin swaddle helps her still feel warm and cosy inside but allows her to have her arms out to self soothe as she does this quite a lot.

Yet to see how we get on with the Next2Me crib now when I go back home. However, I've read up a lot about babies not liking the Next2Me/moses basket to begin with and most people say unfortunately it's just something they need to grow into sleeping in. Although by the time they actually somewhat tolerate it, it's almost probably time to transition to a cot!

Sorry for the lengthy reply but I struggled with the Next2Me too so I wanted to share my experience x

@toastedbagelwithcreamcheese I feel your pain. Colic is awful. When my LO screams and cries with it I feel helpless. However, I've been doing a lot of reading to see what else I can try and I've been putting a dropper of Infacol in her feeds and she seems to be farting a lot more as well as burping somewhat more. She's always been difficult to burp but as a PP said, perhaps her wind js realised more so through farting?

Have you tried white noise? My LO wasn't fond of it at first but I started using white noise with a red screen and all the lights off and she's growing to like it somewhat. Some days are relentless, however, it will pass 🥰. X

Just place holding as I need to catch some winks whilst my 12 week old has gone back down. Will respond properly soon! You're not alone OP! Xx

@Clarebelle878 Hi, I think they prescribe Gavison or Omeprazole? I'm not 100% sure but that's what I've read. I did try her on anti reflux milk but she was extremely constipated. She cried so much every time she needed to poop. She's back on 'normal' formula and based on what the professionals have told me I was trying to see if she would just grow out of the reflux. However, I still feel as though she requires some form of intervention as I believe her reflux is worse than the standard spitting milk after a feed... waiting to see what the HV thinks! No doubt she'll probably fob me off like every doctor I've spoken to. X

Oh and the bicycling technique helps my LO to release wind! Defo recommend x

@user2233 the lack of sleep with a newborn is horrendous. It shouldn’t be underestimated - made me extremely low at times. We are now down to one feed per night most nights which is great (though I’m still bitter about friends whose babies sleep through!). You will get there too. Mine will only contact nap so I’ve never had sleep during the day.

Good luck tonight everyone!
My baby will honestly only settle for sleep in my arms it's so hard!! I'm seeing the HV tomorrow for his 6 week check so I will mention it even though there's nothing she can do and I know she will just tell me about safe sleep.

I'm going to duck in and out very quickly @user2233 because my youngest is now 18 months but everything you said in your first post, I could have written 16 months ago.

Little & often feeds - totally normal and ok at 6 weeks. 10 weeks was a positive turning point for me (larger feeds and going 3-4 hours in between)

Silent reflux / back arching / hard to wind. We got omeprazole from the GP which really helped although it's hard work getting them to take it properly.

PP anxiety - lasted until DD was 4 months.

You will hear this hundreds of times but it will get easier. You will start getting more sleep and you will start enjoying it more. I promise!

@WutheringMights thank you for your input. It's nice to see the light at the end of the tunnel as sometimes it can feel pretty bleak!

@1pregnantmum good luck! Hopefully she gives you some helpful tips (although like you said she may just brush it off). But fingers crossed!

Tonight's been more of a struggle than usual for me. My LO has caught a viral bug of some sort off of me. I've been feeling achy, have a cough and a runny nose and she seems to have caught it. I guess there's not much I can give her at 6 weeks is there?

Also, when a newborn is unwell do I just let it go away on its own (unless she's seriously unwell) or do I take her to the GP? Not sure if I'd be silly to take her in for something viral or not sure if due to her age I should most definitely take her in? 🤔

@user2233 I'm not 100% sure but I think for something viral like a cough/cold you just ride it out. If your baby's nose is blocked saline nasal spray is good and can be used from birth. Calpol vapour plug ins are also soothing! Hope you both feel better soon

I’m sorry you’ve had a rough night OP, it sounds like a difficult one for you and baby. I hope today and tonight are better. Calpol might help with managing the symptoms but if you are concerned take baby to the doctor, I think they are keen to see young babies and would rather see them to be on the safe side.

Hi All,

How's everyone been getting on recently? x

Hey OP, we are getting on ok except that I’m worried my baby has silent reflux. He’s also had a sticky eye, which we went to the GP with, so I’ve been trying to get antibiotic ointment into his eye…

How are you doing? How is your LO?

Bless you @Clarebelle878 silent reflux is one of those things that is often dismissed I believe. I hope your LO gets treatment and feels better soon.

My LO has been really unsettled for the past few days. I called the out of hours GP a few days ago and the GP mentioned that my LO probably has a Cows Milk Protein allergy. It would make sense - the symptoms do overlap with reflux symptoms etc. She's been prescribed some Pepti milk. Hoping this helps.

It's been hard, but I'm trying to remain positive. X