Friend's obsession with new partner

[StephanieLampshade]

My friend (55) has a new boyfriend.

Whilst pleased for her (we've been friends 2 years and she's always wanted to find someone whereas I want to be without a partner) it is four months in and he is all she will talk about.

I've asked to meet him. It's a no...none of her friends or family have met him. Therefore talking at length about someone I've never met is of limited interest.

She ignores texts unless I ask when she is seeing him next. She never suggests meeting up.

I'm spending time with other friends and doing my own stuff. So it's fine.

But he'd promised her on the New Year he'd tell his ex and kids about her and meet her kids...that seems to have been shelved.

And whilst I'm not bothered about meeting him I find it odd she's met no one in his life and vice versa.

Am I unreasonable to think this is a fairytale that is likely to come crashing down?

Or is it normal to just be do wrapped up in each other and I've just forgotten 🤔

It could be either.

It's normal to be wrapped up but you shouldn't neglect your friends. This would make me step back from a friendship tbh

I am stepping back.

He has still not met or made plans to meet any of her friends and family. Nor has she met any of his.

After saying in the past he'd tell his kids about her "in the new year" he's now pushed it back indefinitely.

I've seen her once in the last two months and she left early (from a play!) To go see him.

This just doesn't feel.right to me.

It’s not right. There may be quite valid reasons for him not to introduce her to his kids yet but it’s not promising that he won’t meet her friends. It also reflects unfavourably on her that she’s abandoned her friendships - that’s very unwise. And wouldn’t be necessary in a healthy relationship. Doesn’t matter how lovely someone is - I would feel quite stifled if we were together the whole time and if they seemed to have no social life apart from me.

It sounds off. Please don’t tell me they met on the Internet, he is 25 years old from The Gambia, that he tells a 55 year old woman how beautiful she is, and that she has already sent him money?

You've only known her 2 years. This is the first time she has met someone while you have known her (?)

Presumably if she doesn't make it with this partner into a long term relationship then at some point she will find another.

She is letting you know how your relationship with her will develop once she finds a partner, either now or in the future.

You can either settle for that behaviour in the relationship you have with her, or walk away from it.

I would walk away from it.

I had a friend like this. She couldn't be without a man. And she went through a fair few! The same scenario, no other conversation took place, unless it was about them, not getting in touch etc. I felt like every time she got into a relationship, I was dropped like a hot brick. Then picked back up again when the relationship failed.
It was the opposite to your case, as in that she used to introduce us to them all... And I could see straight through most of them!
I've never put my friends on the back burner for men. Maybe she isn't the friend you thought she was? And no, it's not normal to be that wrapped up, it's obsessive and clingy!

It's not a good idea to introduce children too early though so that's probably a good thing they're not intertwined yet, especially if it's love bombing and it all goes to pot weeks or months down the line.