Adult ASD diagnosis

[Andherewegoagain24]

I've thought for a long time that I have ASD but I'm reluctant to get an ASD diagnosis as I don't want my family or friends involved. Do they need to be? I know it helps docs to have their perspective from my childhood but I really don't want to involve them.

I don't know whether a diagnosis will help me really but at least I'd finally have a reason for myself about why I feel different to those around me.

There are quite a few reasons I believe I'm autistic but I have several things that aren't typical of an ASD diagnosis e.g. I'm hyper aware of how others are feeling and can read emotions far better than most people.

However I:

1. Sensory avoid e.g. I can't bare certain scents, find repetitive or very loud noise unbearable.
2. Sensory seek e.g. certain scents and sound like waves.
3. I struggle to stay in a job for more than 2 years as stress and bug bears build up and I have to move on. I can't just put up with things.
4. I'm clever but I'm under employed for what I could do and always am.
5. I've never been in a relationship for more than a couple of months (I'm in my 40s).
6. I have very few friends. People seem to find me useful e.g. helping them at work but this doesn't lead to friendships.
7. I don't stick to things.
8. I can't bare disorder or untidiness.
9. I get angry (internally) if a plan changes even by 10 minutes. I don't understand why people can't be on time if I can be. I'm always far too early.

10. I'm a big people pleaser to the detriment of me. 11. I struggle massively with public speaking. 12. My bullshit radar is always on hyperdrive. I'm incredible cynical. 99% of the time I'm right. 13. I struggle massively with food and massively overeat but I have a lost a mile long of foods I can't eat because of the texture or smell. 14. I find large groups e.g. conferences incredibly hard and have to escape to the toilet every now and then to escape the noise.

Where do I go from here? Could this be ASD and can I start diagnosis without family/friends involvement?

A friend was trying to get a diagnosis but it stalled because she wouldn't accept family involvement.

Bugger

Look at it from the clinician's point of view, Op. Info and perspective from family and friends is so useful in helping build a picture of you. Otherwise all the info is just from your point of view.

I completely understand that but it doesn't help me find a solution. I don't have any friends who could do it and I don't want my family involved. I completely understand why they feel it's better to have different perspectives.

I didn't have any family input. My assessor was able to pick very fine details from me talking about my childhood. Things I didn't even realise myself until she pointed them out.

That's good to know. I feel I know myself very well including what I was like at school and as a child.

I can't help right now but I'm in the same boat. I'm seeking a diagnosis for myself. I have all the paperwork to fill in. My son was diagnosed a few years ago.
I don't want my family involved either and tbh, not sure how good it was do. We had a massive falling out several years ago and they can't remember any of the negative things I brought up about my childhood (only the good times, weirdly enough). I talk to them now but they don't know the real me. I mask a LOT and realise now that I've done it since childhood.

Can you approach your local NAS branch for advice?

The danger with this approach is that other factors can be missed especially if the assessment is geared towards a specific diagnosis. For example I know with ADHD diagnosis it's something of an elimination process because the basic traits can be caused by or comorbid with other disorders (depression/ anxiety / PTSD / bipolar disorder/ borderline- now known as EUPD). So having the input of others can be really important.

I actually didn't know myself well at all! A lot of the early stuff she had to explain to me. Even after suspecting autism for several years before being assessed and spending the majority of those years analysing every single bit of myself I still didn't see many things from my early years, or input them down to something else. I said oh yes I did X but I don't know if it was because of autism or trauma and she replied 'it can be both' which blew my mind. She then explained in greater detail why it 'ticked a box'

@SquirrelSoShiny

There was no danger. I'm definitely autistic.

I also have ADHD but that's beside the point here

Good idea to get further advice. I'll send them an email. I won't go ahead if I have to have family input so it'll just be something I have to live with if that's the case. I suppose either it's something I need to live with.

Yes sorry to be clear I'm not referring to your specific case (I don't know anything about you!) but just saying that in general assessors will work very hard to see the whole picture and with good reason. So it can be really worthwhile trying to find someone in the family who can be approached @Andherewegoagain24 - it doesn't have to be a parent or sibling. It can just be helpful to have others who knew you as a child or young adult who can corroborate your own account. Is there anyone sympathetic and approachable in your family circle?

School and college reports can also be useful.

It's not that they're not approachable. It's just that I don't want them involved for many reasons.

I have reports.

"but I have several things that aren't typical of an ASD diagnosis e.g. I'm hyper aware of how others are feeling and can read emotions far better than most people."

^ Contrary to stereotypical beliefs about ASD and empathy this is usual. People with autism don't not lack empathy and emotional awareness.

We lack 'cognitive empathy', which is the ability to predict others thoughts and intentions and read between the lines during communication.

We are hyper aware of 'affective empathy' which is the ability to share other people's feelings and emotions.

We have high levels of 'compassionate empathy' - wanting to help others, although we may struggle to think of the best way to support.

Often we have levels of affective and compassionate empathy that are far higher than neurotypicals and can become completely overwhelmed as a result.

Yep I get you. I got as far as the mental health nurse. I am convinced I have ASD. They wanted input from someone from my childhood. Not gonna happen. I did point out it wasnt helpful for people whose parents passed away etc and they wouldnt budge. I live in a different country from where I grew up. I have given up the assessment process now.

I definitely understand the overwhelmed feeling relating to the emotions of others. Even watching the TV can be overwhelming when emotions in characters run high.

''We lack 'cognitive empathy', which is the ability to predict others thoughts and intentions and read between the lines during communication.''
This bit is definitely not me. I can definitely predict the thoughts and feelings of others, often far better than many other people can and I'm very good at reading between the lines. Sometimes too good.