Hen do- what’s the etiquette?

[Catsfrontbum]

I have been asked to organise a hen do for my future SIL. it is a small family one, so will be 2 women in their 70s and then some 30/49 year olds and then a couple of tweens.

Do we pay for the B2B collectively or should we all just pay our own way?

B2B has expressed a desired for pampering except the tweens won’t be permitted to a spa (age restriction) and I think if I have a beauty person come to the house it will be quite boring for them waiting around?

Help!

I thought a low key activity (she’s creative) that we can all
partocipate in (nothing physical) would be good?

I've never known children invited to a hen do. Could you do a pampering session at a spa if that's what the bride has hinted at, and have the children join for a special afternoon tea the same day?

I'm not married so don't know what's expected from the bride's point of view, but as a guest I'd always expect the bride's costs to be split between the hens.

Yes the children is unusual so that’s making it complicated!

I know my DD would be bored to tears at an afternoon tea and wouldn’t eat much of it (doesn’t like cakes etc)

I like the idea of splitting the day up though

Does the bride actually want the children there? It changes the vibe. Or is it just that people have assumed all female relatives should be invited?

I love my nieces but I wouldn't really want them on my hen do.

We did an amazing 2 hour craft/arty session which went down really well from 30s-60s age range.

You could arrange that followed by half a spa day and just invite tweens to the first session.

Girls/teens have been specifically invited by the hen. This is her preference

"pampering" is usually boring anyway.
I'd agree with pp and have some sort of craft activity together. That could be quite fun.

If you have a beauty therapist (or pair of them) to your house / someone's house - they might be able to do treatments for the tweens? I see these sort of pamper parties for v young people advertised. Maybe the age limit was just the spa and their own health and safety sitch?

Also I have normally been happy to pay a little extra to cover the bride at a hen do; although this might be tricker with a small number of attendees and some who are rather young

You'd need something for everyone else to do when someone was being pampered. A groups make up lesson might work.

How old are the tweens?

if its a family one then do it at home to reduce costs.

She has TOLD you to organise something AND she wants a spa and therefore you to pay for it, amongst a few family members, some of whom are under age. Are you really going to ask the 70s yo and the tweens to pay?

She can do a spa with mates, who decide to treat her. Not tell you to pay for her.

So a home pampering session, bring your own facemasks, cakes and tea and fizz.

Oh I love the idea of a makeup artist coming… and while we do that the girls could do something crafty maybe?

Girls will be 9, 13 (just) and 11. I agree that it makes it difficult to balance everyone’s needs/wants and so compromises will need to be made.

Bride wants day time and girls to be included.

I like the idea of us all being together for the day time and maybe a spa later.

just putting this back on for the evening crowd….