What to do about "I don't like that'

[INeedCharcoalPants]

DD8 used to be a bit more adventurous with food but in the last few years she's grown increasingly fussy, she won't eat a great variety of meals for dinner now, claiming for things she used to eat that she no longer likes them. At times she'll discover new things and eat them for a bit, then go off them.

When she goes to a friend's house she will usually eat what's put in front of her, but if I try to replicate it at home I get 'I don't like that'. I'm getting frustrated by this and not sure what to do. I know that there are kids out there worse than she is but I worry it'll get to the stage where she eats hardly anything. I'm maybe panicking as I have a couple of friends whose kids have eating disorders or disordered eating and worry about this. Anyone have any advice?

Anyone?

I know it's difficult. Is it just phase maybe?

I have recently cut out all sugary snacks and made sure we are all having a proper breakfast,lunch and dinner. Sensible snack in the afternoon (an orange or banana) and not too much liquid as tends to fill up on juice then we get the whole....I'm not hungry, I don't like that scenario.

It's difficult because we want our kids to eat, I'm sure you have tried everything. Just keep going if you can. If they don't want to eat a full meal, can you perhaps offer smaller portions and a healthy snack for after.

Trust me I'm no expect just offering my tips that I've tried myself.

Good luck

my Daughter was like this. In the end I told her she could write a list of 5 things she really, really didn’t like. If it wasn’t on the list she had to do a decent job at eating some of it. It seemed to help her differentiate between genuinely disliking something, v it just not being a particular favourite.

I think there is a difference between picky eating and an eating disorder. So try not to panic. Honestly that will just make it worse because your daughter will pick up on your stress.

both my kids were soooo picky and on reflection I think 8 was maybe peak age for it.

we followed the advice of 1. Always making sure there was something that they liked and would eat and 2. Just popping other things on the plate but not commenting on whether it gets eaten or not.

my eldest is now really quite adventurous. And
my youngest is way better than she was.

I know it’s not a popular stance on MN but I always told my three that I wasn’t runnng a restaurant and it wasn’t possible for every meal to be their favourite or even just what they fancied eating at that moment. I would try and avoid or limit strong dislikes but if you ate and liked it in the past you will get it on your plate in the future and over a week there will be enough things you like to eat. I think the main thing is to not make a big deal about food and remember kids will eat if they are hungry. Often for children choices around what they eat is one of the few areas where they have power so they play with that concept.

We’re currently having some small signs of success after several months of the following strategy:
-cook one meal only for dinner
-cook what I want to eat the way I want to - not eliminating spice etc
-serve deconstructed on the table (where possible) to serve self - eg plain pasta, sauce and grated cheese all in separate dishes

• we all eat together at the table
• no one has to eat anything, and there is no pressure, it’s your choice, but I won’t be cooking anything else
• they have free access to fruit, bread , cheese etc that they can get for themselves after dinner if hungry
• i only keep snacks in that I’m happy for them to eat
• trying to release my anxiety that my job is to offer healthy food and their job is to eat it. You can’t force another person to eat and I trust that they’re not going to starve themselves - hunger is a strong motivator

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