WWYD - child's sport

[Gabiclover]

DD (6) and in Y1 is doing netball on Sat mornings. She is very young for it but there are a few other girls of the same age in the class and her school will start doing netball from Y2 at PE so we got her in hoping she'll learn a few skills before she does it at school.

DD is not very sporty, we tried tennis, gymnastics and it's quite clear she hasn't much interest in sport, plus I suspect some mild SEN, not sure what yet (don't think it's dyspraxia as she learned to ride her bike very quickly, she loves swimming and is not clumsy, writes beautifully etc.)

I got to watch her at netball a few times and it's quite clear she is not doing very well, particularly when they play a game for the last 20 mins of the class, but the teachers always say this is a non competitive class and a good way to get some fresh air and learn a few skills.

However the last few times she is the 'magic' player meaning she's not part of any team, just tags along supposedly 'helping both teams', but no one passes the ball to her so she doesn't get the opportunity to catch or throw the ball. I felt really sad today, at the end of the day we are paying the same money for the class and she should get the same opportunity to play rather than being excluded.

I want to take her out of the class and concentrate on the things that she's very good at: maths, art, piano. But DH went ballistic today saying we should persevere JUST because she's not sporty as this is going to give her a bit of an advantage when she starts doing it at school.

I need some perspective on this as it really makes me sad. I really don't want to push her on any sport. She's be better off going with her dad to a park on a Sat morning and do some ball catching and throwing.

I would pull her out.

It is soul destroying to be that player. Find an activity which suits her better.

Pull her out. I agree with you that she’d get more from dh practicing with her. It would be more fun and far better for building her confidence.

Thank you, I'm glad I'm not being unreasonable.

My ds has learned it's easier to fit in by making everyone laugh at his failed attempts at sport than by trying and making a mess of it. I'm glad I pulled him out when I did. We've found something he loves now and he makes an effort.

Does DH often "go ballistic" when you express opinions about your child? Who does he think he is?

I would pull her out, personally. She won't be gaining any advantage (and why would she need to?) by trailing around being the worst player on a team. The only thing she is getting a head start on is the misery of compulsory participation in something she has no aptitude for. She has enough of that crap ahead of her tbh, you'd be better off building her self esteem by nurturing the things she is good at and passionate about. That way she won't care as much that she isn't going to be the school netball star.

Is she enjoying the netball sessions? That would be the key thing for me.

If she likes it then it's worth continuing the sessions even if she isn't any good but if she's only doing it because you and/or your dh feel that she should be doing a sport then let her pack it in, especially as she's so little.

If your daughter enjoys it and wants to do it, continue but if she would rather not go, then pull her out. Always give her the choice.

Also, I used to be a netball coach and at age 6 I really wouldn't expect any skills at all at this age. It's the same for any sport. It should just be getting to know the game and having fun, no skills required yet. Your daughter could end up being a really good player in the future, she's just very young right now.

I don't think either of you are being unreasonable tbh.
Does she enjoy it, despite not being great at it? Does she like the other players? Does she care that she's not picked for teams? Would she rather do something else she won't be doing ar school? Would she rather do something she will be doing at school? Would your money be better spent on something else for her?

I think she's fine either way. I think she doesn't mind going because she gets to play in the beautiful school playground after her class and meets a nice older girl from her school who does the class after.

I'm not quite sure how she feels. She is a bit away with the fairies and she tends to undereact to a lot of things.

If she loves swimming, why not work towards getting her into a swimming club if you want her to have a sport?

Or look at something like sailing that requires quite a different skill set.

She is starting swimming classes next week so yes, we are looking into sports that she enjoys and is good at.

I agree, she's very young but I see the other 6 year olds in the class really going for it. She's not bad with ball throwing or catching, it's just the game itself where she gets lost so they started excluding her. I think she was part of a team at first but I think she threw the ball to the wrong team a few times.

Just give her the opportunity to try different sports. She doesn't need to be the Mary Earps or Serena Williams, she just needs to have something she enjoys.

We only found the sport my DD really lives when she was 11... climbing.

That's exactly what we are doing. I don't want to her to be the next Serena at all and I'm fine with her not doing any sport if she doesn't want to, she's very good at other things.

Sorry I think that might have come across wrong... I was meaning look what other stuff is available and see if she wants to try something else for a bit.

She's one of the younger ones. The only reason I'd put a younger child in a group of older children doing something like this was if they were good at it and enjoyed it. Maybe look at her rejoining in a year or two when she has matured a bit?

I agree with you that is would be far more productive to pull her out and concentrate on fitness and gross motor skills separately. And find her another group activity that she enjoys and makes progress with.

Coach here. Magic player does not work with kids. It means they don't touch the ball. Better to just play 7v6 or whatever. Younger the kids the worse the effect is. It's pretty well known. Their brains don't work like that

What about a physical activity that’s not a sport? My dd did dance, lots of different styles from ballet to hip hop.

It's really important for kids esp girls to learn to throw & catch a ball, run, jump etc otherwise it's harder & harder to learn it. Like all skills. Look up physical literacy.
If she doesn't learn young, she's less likely to play later. Practice basics at home with her. Get her to throw & catch a ball too. It's a learned skill.
Speak to the coach as say she can't play magic player as she's too young to understand the concept and neither team are passing to her

Can you try a martial arts? That way there is no teams and can progress at own pace.

Mine has started kickboxing and really enjoys it.

Thank you all, appreciate all the advice.

Don't think she's attracted to dance either.

She's not bad at catching/throwing a ball, she's quite developed physically and perfectly able to climb frames, jumping, not sure why she does so poorly in sports.

I will look into it, thank you