Car accident with uninsured driver.

[Stickly]

Today we (I was a passenger) pulled out of a car park and a car reversed into my side door. There is a large dent and deep scratch in the door, the door is difficult to open/close, and there Is damage to paintwork above front wheel. The whole door needs replace basically.
Now, at the time things were a bit heated as we had our child in the car and we said we will get insurance details messaged over. Suffice to say this did not happen and after a bit of digging it transpires he is uninsured.
I feel so torn here for the young driver as I'm sure it will mean a ban. We did get an estimate from our garage for approx £5000 and said if this could be provided today then we would leave it at that. We have been guilt tripped by the boys parents and I think they don't believe our quote. I have checked with others and the quote sounds right.
I'm looking for reassurance here. I feel terribly guilty but also angered that my child was endangered. Should we have let this be dealt with privately? Do you think the quote is correct? It's all very difficult as we see these people regularly but I think the parents loyalty to their son is clouding their judgement .

Well he isn’t going to learn any lesson by you letting it be dealt with privately. It’s just a dented door this time, what if it’s a child next time? Does he even have a license?
Crazy to let this be handled privately, and I have happily done so twice in the past so not against this in all cases.

Honestly I’d throw him under the bus. By settling it privately you’re not doing anyone any real favours. He chose to drive uninsured and he drove into your car. The rest of it is not your problem.

Why do you feel guilty?
He's an uninsured driver.
He caused an accident.
Pursue this and claim your damages.

You've nothing to feel guilty about OP. Imagine if he'd hit a person (instead of a car) who needed a lot of follow on care, unpaid time off work, complex surgeries etc. Would his parents be waving a £20 note at them and sniffing at the cost? Or instead of a possible ban would he be spending time in jail? Settling this privately just sets him up for trying to get away with it another time when the outcomes could be much, much worse for everyone involved.

Why the heck are you feeling guilty because someone uninsured reversed into your car?
This RAC advice says you should report him to the police

https://www.rac.co.uk/drive/advice/insurance/what-to-do-if-youve-been-hit-by-an-uninsured-driver/

I can’t believe there is even a question about this. Don’t you feel that you have an obligation to report the driver? By not doing so you are basically condoning it.

Report. Illegal and dangerous behaviour.

This. Do not feel guilty. He is breaking the law and so are you by covering it up.

I have reported it but we have been bombarded with phone calls and messages from his parents. I am off the same opinion that actions have consequences...I think I'm shocked at the parents really that it's got me completely doubting myself.

Sorry my original post wasn't very clear. I did go straight through with my claim and a 101 report. I'm just doubting myself and feeling backed into a corner here with the parents comments about how there was no need for insurance etc. It frightened the life out of me as he didn't even reverse slowly it was a boy racer style, foot down situation and his defense was he couldn't see out his back window due to condensation. Give me strength.

How old was the driver? What’s your relationship with the parents?

So the boy drove illegally and lacking basic competence/control and now his parents are trying to bully you?

He's 17. We are neighbours unfortunately.

Block their number and report them for harassment if they come round. It is pure luck that someone wasn’t injured or worse by their son’s actions. He has knowingly broken the law and the police should deal with that.

Do not communicate with them again except via the insurance company.

God how awkward!
an uninsured driver went into the back of my car in September 2023. Reported via 101 and have not heard anything from the police . 🤷🏽‍♀️

Well, they should absolutely back off. This kid needs to learn a hard lesson. If the parents don’t like it, that’s their problem - do not let them bully you. Worst case scenario, what if he carries on, and injures someone or worse? Ask yourself how you would feel about that?

@ErrolTheDragon now that you say it, that is exactly how I feel. I feel extremely intimidated right now and guilty that I'm destroying his life. This is a small inconvenience for him at a young age and hopefully a lesson learnt....but I'm sitting here anxious as fuck because he's "a good kid". WTF is she on??

I once parked my car outside my friend’s house and was sitting chatting to her in her living room, heard an almighty crash, and found that a young boy racer had whizzed round the corner and driven into my car. I think he may have been drunk. We exchanged numbers, and I spoke to his Mum later. She was really arsey with me, acting as if I was being a bitch for wanting my car fixed! I couldn’t believe it. Tough shit, I claimed anyway and insurance paid.

Don’t feel guilty OP. He broke the law by driving uninsured. Valuable lesson for him.

Why are you being such a wet blanket.

How is she communicating with you?

Whichever way it is the answer is

How fucking dare you speak to me you dull bitch.

An uninsured driver caused an accident with me many years ago. You must must must go through your insurance.

Don't worry about the boy, if it's anything like my experience the prosecution will mess it all up and not much will happen to him (or to the car owner who allowed an uninsured driver to drive their car which is also an offence).

Awkward is correct!! Oh my...that's ridiculous. I've been given an appointment next week at least.

FFS, he’s dangerous and when he causes accidents, the people involved have no recourse to his insurance. He is a menace and needs to be taken off the roads. Stop thinking about the emotional blackmail they are pulling on you, and get angry - really angry. He could have killed your child, or someone else’s. Leave your insurance company and the police to deal with it now, and block all their phone numbers. He should be prosecuted.

Him and his parents are dicks. They are in the wrong 1. For the illegal, uninsured driving 2. For expecting you to be handling it privately 3. Disagreeing the amount calling you a liar 4. Harassing you 5. Teaching their son that there are no consequences to dangerous driving but also unlawful driving. 6. Not being sympathetic to the fright you had when dc in the car.

Please, please do not feel bad. If not this time he could go on to seriously injure or kill someone, driving recklessly and uninsured.

You're not 'destroying his life'. If there's consequences, they're entirely as the result of his own behaviour (and possibly the parents enabling it ... was it their car and did they know he was driving it?)

I knew I could rely on you lot knocking common sense into me. I'm an anxious person and can feel knocked quite easily. I was feeling quite upset by the passive aggressive comments being made by her but have left the last message on read as I don't want it to turn into a slanging match.
Like you've all said, thank god it was just a door and not a human being. I feel very much reassured that I'm not the evil witch next door. May try and get some sleep now. Thankyou all. I'll keep you updated!